07/07/2025
It sucks. It’s unfair. 💔
My girl and I had the most wonderful 2 mile hike last Wednesday to honor the 1 year anniversary of my mom’s sudden passing. Everything seemed ok with her. Nothing out of the ordinary
The following evening she started to refuse food. By Friday she became more lethargic and not herself. She was eating some but not her usual amount, and denying high value treats.
By Saturday I was able to get her into the vet where they confirmed a mass on her spleen and most likely blood pooling in her abdomen. It was not a confirmed hemangiosarcoma but most likely. Surgery was not an option. She is old, I’m not going to put her through chemo to selfishly get a few more weeks? Months? And how many would be quality?
She was sent home with Yunnan Baiyao on board, and that herb turned her around for a couple really good days. She ate again, rolled in the grass. She loved on my sisters and friends who came to say goodbye. We sat outside all day-morning to night. Splashed and dug in a kiddie pool, ate steak and had all the treats.
I thought all was well Monday evening and as I settled for bed her breathing started to elevate-44 bpm at rest. And nothing helped. The herb capsules, tramadol-temperature control. Nothing. She started to walk with lessened coordination and even ran into the wall in her anxious state. Her belly even more distended. At that moment I made the decision to drive her to the nearest ER to help her cross over without pain.
I will forever feel the pain of my heart being ripped out of my chest as she left this world. I was not prepared for how awful I would feel. Sick to my stomach that my dog was just here a minute ago, and like that she is gone. No more never to be again.
This grief journey will be hard. She was my first dog that helped me through some big life changes. We went on so many adventures. I will hold those to my heart.
I can’t help but believe she held on for me to make sure I made it through that first tough year of my moms loss 🥺 (she had pulled through an emergency pneumothorax back in 11/2023) Like “Mom, you got it now from here..I’m tired…”😭
These pictures above are from our last couple days together.
Big girl I love and miss you always. Watch over my mom for me, and I can’t wait until we reunite in the next life. 🐾 🌈 💔