The Wokeville Gazzette

02/24/2023

A look at the world, from a Christian point of view.

08/31/2022

It's called debt relief for a reason. 🇺🇸

07/20/2022

"AOC made those cops look silly", said another faux-tester. "They walked in, acting all tough, trying to scare us and break up a protest they said was unlawful. When we refused to move, they started arresting people. When they got to AOC, and put those fake handcuffs on her, people really got excited. She calmly walked away with those racist cops who kept telling her that she wasn't in handcuffs and didn't need to put her hands behind her back. Then, when they were distracted by someone yelling 'All Cops are Bastards', AOC slipped out of her cuffs like 'bye Felicia'. She is so amazing!" 🇺🇸

Washington, D.C ( Wokeville Gazette) — Fake congress-woman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC), slipped out of her fake handcuffs—just long enough to raise her fist in fake solidarity with the...

06/14/2022

(2) things we have recently come to appreciate about President Biden; and by that we mean, we only have two more years of this mess. 🇺🇸

06/08/2022

02/02/2022

"We tried to reach out to Prime Minister Notrudeau, but due to the fact that he is cowardly hiding out in his undisclosed bunker, with his pretend COVID, we were unable to reach him for comment".

Today in the House, Members of Parliament unanimously condemned the antisemitism, Islamophobia, anti-Black racism, homophobia, and transphobia that we’ve seen on display in Ottawa over the past...

01/25/2022

"This is really unbelievable", said Joseph Clint, warden at Dothan State Prison. "I honestly have no idea how we're supposed to accomplish our mission, if we can't even follow the most basic tenets of our mission".

Dothan, AL (Wokeville Gazette) — Newly proposed legislation is likely to penalize any correctional facilities that talk to inmates to help them overcome unwanted criminal urges or thoughts....

01/20/2022

"Ms. Anderson is committed to fight this frivolous lawsuit until she is exonerated", said Jake McHugh. "Not only is my client innocent, but she will not be used as a patsy. She was well within her rights—protected and secured by the Constitution—and any assertions that she was violating some outdated moral code of conduct are not only mendacious but are also defamatory and are being used to paint my client as a reprobate; which couldn't be further from the truth".

San Antonio, TX (Wokeville Gazette) — A man and woman were arrested, on Wednesday afternoon, for breaking a law against "flirting with eyes or hands". "I could see, based on how they were looking...

01/06/2022

One year later and it seems as though Donald J. Trump is still inciting erect....errr...umm...insurrections. 🇺🇸

01/05/2022

"It's hard to imagine a world where something as innocent as who you choose to eat lunch with, would be so tightly regulated", said Tim Stevens, the token gay guy in the group. "But, I certainly can understand the importance of perception and as a gay man I know the struggle to be accepted. So, even though Katlynn will be missed, I support the company's efforts to do the right thing".

New York City, NY (Wokeville Gazette) — After nearly 4 years of eating lunch with the same group of work-friends, Katlynn Elliot was abruptly removed from the group in order to meet the equity and...

12/30/2021

"I don't know man. I was talking to some of my gamer friends and they were just reminding me of how sweet of a setup I have here", said Tucker. "I mean, Jessica is a good girl and she works hard every day to pay for our pad and our food and my energy drinks and stuff. I mean I don't want to lose all of this. It's a perfect setup."

Eugene, Oregon (Wokeville Gazette) — Jessica Owens is beyond elated as her live-in boyfriend of 8 years has finally promised to spend more time with her than he does his video games; starting next...