11/13/2025
I really have spent the last 1,827 days choosing Jenna instead of he**in.
Thats 5 whole years. 🤯🤯🥳
I still remember my last time getting high like it was yesterday. I remember the withdrawals. The homeless shelters. The methadone clinic. Withdrawing from the methadone in the homeless shelter. The sleepless nights. The cold sweats. Drinking a half of a bottle of NyQuil just to get a few hours of rest. I remember still wanting to get high. A girl that would do whatever necessary to get by. The feeling of doing anything just to pass time. I remember it all like it was yesterday. The girl that would do anything to take the pain away.
I remember working through my 1st year of recovery. Still having those addict tendencies. I had stopped using drugs but that lifestyle was still in me. I wasn’t stealing to get by. But I still couldn’t tell the truth if I tried. Learning so hard to tell myself no. And knowing what I’d lose if I let go.
I remember sailing through my 2nd year in recovery. I felt invincible, like nothing could stop me. I still had plenty of highs and lows. But nothing like the hopeless girl from 2 years ago.
I remember crawling through my 3rd year of recovery. I had figured this sober thing out but the devil wouldn’t let go of me. This year I would fight for my life. I faced a lot of doubts, loss, and strife. I didn’t understand how I could come this far, and yet still struggle so hard.
I remember dusting myself off for the 4th year. I knew exactly what I didn’t want for myself. I couldn’t just be stuck here. I remember when I started choosing peace. I finally started doing what’s best for me. No more people pleasing. This was the year I learned let go, and put focus on the things I CAN control.
I remember this last year, year 5. This is the year I thrived. Finally, I felt like I didn’t have to survive. I learned a lot about the relationships around me. And got rid of the people that didn’t support my recovery. I remember enjoying life. No more doubts. No more loss. No more strife.
Today I stand face to face with the beginning of year 6. This year is about growth, about breaking new ground. It’s about chasing my dreams and the peace that I’ve found. I’ll keep choosing Jenna, one day at a time. Building a future that’s steady.. and mine. 🥰
