01/05/2024
Some great words🤗💕
Our daughter Alex died ten years ago today.
A decade ago I was heavy with grief and I couldn’t imagine what my life would look like years into the future. Try as I did, I just couldn’t see through the fog to even imagine this far ahead. And yet, here I am.
I stepped into a new chapter of my life- a chapter that I didn’t order, plan, or desire. Poetically, that chapter started on January 1st and it serves as a reminder to me each year- a reminder that new chapters of life sometimes start out of necessity. Unfair, uncomfortable, and heavy necessity.
I don’t need you to understand what it was like to lose two children in two years, but I think maybe I’d like for you to know that it is possible to do really hard things if you’re willing to take little steps.
Whether you’re charting a new course with intention or you’ve been plopped down in the middle of a path you really don’t want to be on, please believe me when I say this.
It’s okay that you don’t have a master plan or that the enormity of your new chapter is swallowing you up. Just forget about that for a bit. Just forget about having all your ducks in a row. I mean, why are there so many ducks, anyway? Just forget the ducks and take a step. Once that’s done, go ahead and take the next. If that doesn’t feel right, then reorient and start again. You get to do that.
Oh, and did you know that you can step forward and still really freaking miss what you had to leave behind? You can. I do. I am unbelievably grateful to be in this phase of my life and also, I miss my girls. Both. New starts don’t erase your old steps.
If you’re starting a new chapter, either by choice or necessity, I’m rooting for you. You can do this. Today or any other. You can do it.
I guess that’s really all I need you to know.
Hugs, Mandy 💛