
07/26/2025
My daughter's bedroom has been empty for two years, but I still catch myself buying her favorite purple flowers every spring.
The doctors said stage four meant months, not years. They were wrong about the timeline but right about everything else. Emma fought longer than any of us imagined, whispering about the garden we would plant together when she got better. She made me promise to fill it with purple - her favorite color since she could talk.
For eighteen months after the funeral, I could not touch the yard. The weeds took over, neighbors stopped asking when I planned to clean it up. My husband tried to hire landscapers, but I screamed at him until he sent them home. That earth held too much pain.
Last fall, something shifted. Maybe it was finding her garden journal under her bed, pages filled with sketches of moon gardens and butterfly bushes. I started small, just clearing one section where she had always wanted to build something magical.
The white quartz rocks came from an estate sale. The elderly woman told me they came from her mother's meditation garden, said her mother believed the stones held protective energy for families going through hard times. I loaded every single one into my car, knowing Emma would have loved the story.
Building this spiral took three weekends and more tears than I can count. I found the purple plants through a seller on the Tedooo app who specializes in memorial gardens (I also have my craft store after a tip I heard here). When I told her why I needed them, she sent extra bulbs and a handwritten note saying she understood the weight of planting hope in grief.
Now I sit here every evening, watching sunset light catch the white stones. It is not the garden Emma and I planned together, but it is the one I built for her. And somehow, in this circle of stone and purple blooms, I can feel her again - not in the dying, but in the growing.
The empty bedroom upstairs will always break my heart. But down here, surrounded by her favorite color, I remember that love does not end when breathing stops.