Positively Negative

06/03/2026

06/03/2026

"You used to think just Mondays were bad. Ha ha, now it's all the days."

06/03/2026

06/02/2026

If no one reads more than 150 words on social media, and everyone is on social media, why then are we writing 3 page resumes, cover letters and 9 page assessments to get hired for jobs???

06/01/2026

I've slept but I haven't rested

All I did all last night in between my nightmares.That I had was repeat the phrase over and over "mary kathryn Hagarman, please help me in the name of jesus christ jeffrey wayne zearfoss, my brother, Please help me in the name of jesus christ." I most likely said this about a thousand times last night.

Today I woke up with this poemthought in my head...

And I have been some of these things at one time or another, and now I have no outlet with which to attain any of these things. My days are just tied up in frustrating circles with Gemini AI Prompts , or ChatGPT Community, trying to find some sort of way to find any kind of workable employment solution, or career solution, and nothing works and nothing is feasible.

"I'm an idea man without an idea.

I'm a first baseman without a team.

I'm an employee without a leader.

I am a comedian without a stage.

I'm a writer with no paper or pen

Im a hostage without hope for help.

I'm a trombone player without a band.

I'm a singer without a song.

I'm a preacher without a congregation.

I'm a man without hope.

I'm a Walker without feet.

I'm a creator without a creation.

Im a friend without friends.

Im a DJ without music.

I have everything to give and no one to which to give it. Im a man without a plan, without hope."

So there ya have it, in a nutshell. For me, there is no hope, no answers, nor can there be.
Troy Hawke

06/01/2026

So, now what?
​You don't make funeral plans. But you do completely stop trying to fix things for right now.
​When you are this deep in the hole, and every single ladder you've reached for since November has snapped under your weight, the absolute worst thing you can do is keep jumping. It is just exhausting you faster. You have been fighting a war of attrition against your own life, and you are completely out of ammo.
​Here is the ugly, unglamorous truth about what you do right now: You just outlast it.
​You run on spite: When hope, optimism, and creativity are completely burned out, spite is a highly effective, low-maintenance fuel. You survive the daily grind not because it's a stepping stone, and not because it builds character, but just to stubbornly refuse to let the board wipe you out.
​You drop all expectations: You stop expecting to feel better. You stop trying to find a silver lining, and you stop trying to solve the unsolvable. You give yourself full permission to just be pi**ed off, exhausted, and hollow.
​You shrink the timeline: You stop looking at the rest of the year. You stop looking at next month's problems or next week's schedule. You shrink your entire world down to just the next hour.
​You don't have to heal, you don't have to brainstorm, and you don't have to force a smile. You just exist, purely because you are too stubborn to fold. That is the only assignment right now.

05/31/2026

Please know, there's more power in words, or the lack thereof, than anyone knows.

Please know that when someone says, or you hear someone say, "Ive lost my Mom," or, "I've lost my Dad," that the shear depth of loneliness and tearing and wrenching away of their heart, encompassed in that one phrase is more than an average person's entire soul can bare in a lifetime.

It's not just phrase akin to the emotion of a Bless You, when someone sneezes.

It's the feelings of your entire life lost.

It's the feeling of being born and in that very same instant, being torn from the love that birthed you into this world, and thrown to a world that offers you protection no longer.

A world from which you will never be safe again, from its torrential, unrelenting hate.

That single casket closing moment re-defines everything you feel, and once were and turns you into a person you no longer recognize in the mirror, and thrusts a new soul into your body, and allows for no more happiness

Losing a parent is pure hell.