12/08/2025
This was my grandmother's gumdrop tree, the only thing I took from her house after she died because my cousins wanted the "valuable stuff" and I just wanted something that reminded me of her hands. She'd make it every Christmas, those same colorful gumdrops on wire branches, and we'd sit at her kitchen table while she told me stories and let me steal pieces when she wasn't looking.
My aunt said I was being ridiculous taking "cheap junk" when there was jewelry and furniture to divide up, but she never sat with Grandma threading gumdrops onto wire while she talked about her life, her regrets, the grandchildren she loved more than anything. This tree was on her table the last Christmas before the cancer, when she could barely lift her arms but insisted on decorating it anyway because "some traditions matter more than being comfortable."
I put it out every year now, same gumdrops she used decades ago, hard as rocks and inedible but I won't replace them because her fingers touched these exact pieces. My husband thinks I'm crazy for keeping food from the 1980s on display, but he didn't know her, didn't understand that this gaudy little tree with its colorful gumdrops was her way of making magic when she had almost nothing.
I found similar vintage trees on Tedooo app from other makers, people preserving their own family traditions, and it made me feel less alone in my grief. Now I'm thinking about making them myself, selling them to other people who need something handmade and memory-filled, something that proves love survives even when the people who taught us how to love are gone. This tree is all I have left of her, and some days it's the only thing that makes December feel like anything other than another year without her voice.