09/06/2026
I (29f) have been dating my bf (35m) for a little over a year now. We had a rather long “getting to know each other” dating period - a few months - because of distance and work conflicts. I almost walked away and I think this was a wake up call for him and he put in so much effort to show me he wanted me, planned trips to see me, planned outings, made me gifts, etc. It all seemed great and we started talking about marriage timeline within a month of officially dating. I know it seems fast but we’d known each other for a while at that point and the timeline wasn’t anything immediate. He seemed enthusiastic, initiating engagement and wedding planning talks, going to his mom to ask about rings, even speaking to mutual friends about how excited he was to get married one day.
Now some back story for me. After several negative s*xual experiences in my early 20s I decided to go through a period of abstinence. There was no s*xual contact period u til I met my bf. When we started dating, we were doing ahem some stuff but did not actually have penetrative s*x. I told him that was something I’d want to wait to be engaged to do.
As the period of excitement over the thought of engagement progressed (over the course of maybe the first 3-4 months) there were a few occasions where he made off handed remarks about it not really making sense that I wanted to wait until we were engaged to have s*x because 1) neither of us were virgins and 2) we’d already done a lot so it’s not like we were really saving our bodies or anything. These comments were few and far between but they got to me because yeah it did seem silly to wait and I felt guilty for setting
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