The Philolexian Society of Columbia University

The Philolexian Society of Columbia University Founded by Alexander Hamilton and still filled with nerds today. Philo is Columbia University's oldest and classiest student organization.

Columbia's oldest club (literary and debate society) which holds weekly absurdist debates (Thursdays, Satow Room, 9pm) and publishes a literary magazine (Surgam). Formally established in 1802 by associates of Alexander Hamilton, but with roots reaching as far back as 1766, the Society promotes literary awareness and the art of rhetoric among its members, who have ranged from Allen Ginsberg to Jacq

ues Barzun. Over the years, Philo has evolved significantly; while we honor our predecessors, we don’t believe we’re living in the 19th century. We just think it might be fun to pretend. https://twitter.com/philo_society
https://www.instagram.com/philolexiansociety/

HAPPY HALLOWEEN AND (if you are Vanilla Ice) BIRTHDAY! Come celebrate (eerily) with a PHILO DEBATE TONIGHT at 9PM in LER...
10/30/2025

HAPPY HALLOWEEN AND (if you are Vanilla Ice) BIRTHDAY! Come celebrate (eerily) with a PHILO DEBATE TONIGHT at 9PM in LERNER SATOW! Boo 👻👻

A poem, dedicated to the Merriam-Webster webpage for all words that rhyme with ghost
There once was a ghost
Who wanted to host
A large potluck roast
So he could then boast
That his evening toast
Was heard coast to coast
Though he did his utmost
And remained at his post
His guests weren’t engrossed
Vermicompost

SUBMIT 2 SURGAM!! Do you have a piece of poetry, prose, diaries, photography, original art, etc. that you would like to ...
10/25/2025

SUBMIT 2 SURGAM!! Do you have a piece of poetry, prose, diaries, photography, original art, etc. that you would like to be published in the OFFICIAL literary magazine of the Philolexian Society? Email all original literary works to [email protected] by NOVEMBER 23rd!

Dear Philos, and all else,Amidst our last 7 resolutions being about men, the Columbia administration has kindly asked us...
10/23/2025

Dear Philos, and all else,

Amidst our last 7 resolutions being about men, the Columbia administration has kindly asked us to make a resolution about women for once. We could not decline their kind offer, given their threat to exclude out club from Activities Board at Columbia.

Given our commitment to our values, etc., we have decided to finally allow womenhood into satirical content. Thus, Resolved: "I am a femminist, but ____"

Lerner Satow, 9PM TODAY!! (THURSDAY!!!!)

Midterm season, im not writing a proper postLerner Satow Hall9pm ThursdayCome debate and have snacksLove you guys
10/15/2025

Midterm season, im not writing a proper post

Lerner Satow Hall
9pm Thursday
Come debate and have snacks
Love you guys

Join us TONIGHT at 9PM in LERNER SATOW (if you can name five brothers) for PHILO debate: Frats are Really Just Clubs for...
10/09/2025

Join us TONIGHT at 9PM in LERNER SATOW (if you can name five brothers) for PHILO debate: Frats are Really Just Clubs for Sensitive Men…! Please have a last name ready for us to address you by.

It seems as though my past life was not a virtuous one because I am not blessed enough to be living now as a 5’6” frat guy who plays lacrosse and is a bit insecure about his height (or lack thereof). I have been trying to emulate this lifestyle via incorporating a fraccent into my conversations, practicing my beer and beer pong, and catching things (like footballs, golf balls, pens, etc) one handed. Next week I will find a baseball cap and continue my journey of self improvement, although I worry that my frat vibes peaked in middle school when Mo Bamba was my top song of the year and I played football.

Socrates: My friends, before we consent to deliberate, I must ask: what are “Socra-deez-nuts”? UwUCallias: I maintain, S...
10/01/2025

Socrates: My friends, before we consent to deliberate, I must ask: what are “Socra-deez-nuts”? UwU

Callias: I maintain, Socrates, that Socra-deez-nuts are the perfect metaphor for the dialectic itself—two spheres in tension, rolling against each other, producing friction, heat, and perhaps enlightenment~ o.o

Socrates: And tell me, Callias, do these spheres roll of their own accord, or must some hand push them? :'D

Callias: Surely the hand of philosophy! :DDDD

Hermogenes: Nonsense. The resolution is obviously a prank. To resolve Socra-deez-nuts is to fall victim to sophistry itself! We are being tricked, as one might be when a child tells you to "see more" only to reveal vulgarity. >:(

Socrates: And yet, Hermogenes, if we are tricked, is it not the duty of philosophy to examine the trick, and thus to transcend it? >_o

Hermogenes: Perhaps. I must maintain that I do indeed have much to say about the matter at hand. :O

Socrates: Then, my friend, you must not be absent from one and true debate that is to settle the issue at hand: Resolved: Socra-deez-nuts. :3

Hermogenes: Ah! Socrates, may the seven Gods bless you for your intellect, generosity, and physical strength. Where and when is this debate is to take place? :DDDD

Socrates: It is to be heard in LERNER SATOW ROOM, THURSDAY 9PM. Beware, there shall be snacks for those glutonious Epicurians, and numerous other matters beyond the Stoics’ control. I insist that you bring all your wit! X3

Did God judge your soul and deem you unworthy of eternal salvation? Gather with the rest of the un-raptured for PHILO DE...
09/25/2025

Did God judge your soul and deem you unworthy of eternal salvation? Gather with the rest of the un-raptured for PHILO DEBATE tonight at 9PM in KENT 413! Almost as good as perfect union with God and freedom from all earthly desires!

Disclaimed: Philolexian is an Irish Catholic society and excitedly awaits God’s judgement during the end times (as per Book of Revelation). We do not condone Protestants getting to cut in line.

📯 Hear Ye! Hear Ye! 📯Mortals, scholars, and scribes of this venerable realm!By the decree of your most generous Moderato...
09/18/2025

📯 Hear Ye! Hear Ye! 📯

Mortals, scholars, and scribes of this venerable realm!

By the decree of your most generous Moderator, this week’s solemn convocation shall debate a matter truly extraordinary:
“Columbia should have a KING, not a PRESIDENT!”

Gather ye in Lerner Satow Hall to witness the clash of minds and the triumph of regal reason! There shall be orations, victuals most wondrous, and curious DELIGHTS to stir both mind and marrow. Mmmmm!

Bring quills, wit, and courage. Tremble not, but prepare to speak, lest ye be counted among the timid! 📯

📅 Thursday, 21:00pm
📍 Lerner, Satow

By royal mandate, attendance is highly encouraged… or so says I, the king’s obedient herald, eh, though I refrain from pledging fealty ere the debate

HAPPY FIRST DEBATE OF THE YEAR TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE!! Join us in Lerner Satow tonight (Thursday) at 9pm to find out wh...
09/11/2025

HAPPY FIRST DEBATE OF THE YEAR TO THOSE WHO CELEBRATE!! Join us in Lerner Satow tonight (Thursday) at 9pm to find out whether YOU 🫵 are smarter than an NYU student. There will be SPEECHES, SNACKS, and LITTLE to NO THREAT of RETRIBUTION from NYU STUDENTS!

As we approach the end of the semester, we are all looking forward to a well earned break and moment of rest. Many of us...
05/01/2025

As we approach the end of the semester, we are all looking forward to a well earned break and moment of rest. Many of us will be flying across the country to visit family, abroad to spend time with friends, or even to another city in the NorthEast for work; and as we will plan our flights and book our airplane tickets, there is one thing on all of our minds: Bush.
Which is why that is precisely the topic of our final meeting for the semester.
Tonight is our Symposium, which is always the last meeting we host each term.
As is tradition, our topic is only one word, and the format will be more of a “stand in the circle free-for-all” than our typical structure.
Our topic - Resolved: Bush - can (and should) be interpreted in anyway you’d like. And I’m sure we’ll hear quite a few definitions of that word throughout the evening.

As always, we’ll be starting at 9pm (or maybe 11 minutes later?) and our ground zero for the festivities will be the Lerner Satow Room, 5th floor.
We hope that you’ll come out of the hedges, hop over the shrubs, and join us this evening! It’s not like you have something more important to do, like shave, right?

And as a bonus before the event, starting at 8pm is the launch party for Surgam, our literary magazine!
Because we're actually a serious and legit society, from time to time we do a little writing and do a little publishing.
Please join us in the Lerner Satow room to get a copy of the magazine, and hear some of our published members read some of their works, perhaps titled: “The Vampires Didn't Turn me Gay, I Turned the Straights into Vampires”, and “Jenga’s New Limited Edition is Titled ‘Building 7’”, and “This Song is Titled ‘I Got Dumped Over Frozen Yogurt’, Let's Open This Pit Up!”
Also someone probably drew a pretty picture that's in this edition of Surgam, and that's always fun to see.

K, thanks, see you then, byeee!! ❤️☀️⚡

Is Mr.Darcy evidence that women have loved a wet and pathetic man since the dawn of time, or could the classic love stor...
04/22/2025

Is Mr.Darcy evidence that women have loved a wet and pathetic man since the dawn of time, or could the classic love story be greatly improved by adding le****ns? Would DOGE try to get this book banned based on title alone? Come tell us this Thursday night at another rousing debate of the esteemed Philolexian society, 9pm in the Satow room.

Every four years, the Philolexian Society is recognized by the University to host the Philolexian Washington Centennial ...
04/17/2025

Every four years, the Philolexian Society is recognized by the University to host the Philolexian Washington Centennial Oratory Competition with a cash prize for the finest original speech on a patriotic theme. This year’s theme is ‘The Responsibility of the Average American’.

All undergraduates of the Columbia community are invited to submit their names to enter the competition for a chance at this year’s prize. Read the above post for the information needed to enter and feel free to reach out with any questions.

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