The Quipster

The Quipster The content-free news source! The Quipster, the content-free news source that is slowly but surely filling with content. The site was established in November of 2010 after Yeshiva University refused to fund a student-run satirical newspaper.

As a result, the idea was taken to the inter-web. We at The Quipster are a collective of college students at YU whose interest is to lighten your day with some entertaining and fictional anecdotes that may, in fact, be true. We offer satire, humor, and all-around ridiculousness. We are the best! I mean we're pretty good. Really good! Well, we're not bad. Please don't go.

03/29/2016
TOP 10 BEST CAT VIDEOS OF ALL TIME!

The Quipster is currently undergoing an existential crisis, and will be back shortly. In the meantime, while you have nothing to do on the internet, please enjoy this compilation of cat videos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbP2N1BQdYc

We've scoured the internet and found the cutest and funniest cat videos of all time. Any we missed? Let us know! What should we count down next? — Video by B...

This Five Towns kid was extremely surprised to discover that "diverse" meant more than just coming from a different city...
03/22/2016
BREAKING: Five Towns Kid Meets First Non White-Jew | The Quipster

This Five Towns kid was extremely surprised to discover that "diverse" meant more than just coming from a different city in America.

This week the entire Five Towns Jewish community was rocked when Shloimy Golberg finally met a non white-Jew. “It was scary at first,” Shloimy said, from th...

We've all been in one of those situations where, without our circumcision, we probably wouldn't have made it out alive.
03/21/2016
6 Times Your Circumcision Has Gotten You Out Of a Bind | The Quipster

We've all been in one of those situations where, without our circumcision, we probably wouldn't have made it out alive.

That time the bank teller told you that you had overcharged your account by two hundred dollars - I honestly don’t have any idea what we would’ve done without y...

Students at Stern seem to be enjoying hearing about their friends days, cooking more and more schnitzel, and overall sim...
03/15/2016
Stern Girl Slowly Transforms Into Her Mother | The Quipster

Students at Stern seem to be enjoying hearing about their friends days, cooking more and more schnitzel, and overall simply acting more matronly.

“Freaky Friday” became a reality at Yeshiva University last week- except it is possibly an even worse scenario than the movie. It happened when Chana Steinberg,...

Chair for Sale: Slightly used, but good condition leather chair. $15 OBO. Pick up in Heights Lounge.
03/15/2016

Chair for Sale: Slightly used, but good condition leather chair. $15 OBO. Pick up in Heights Lounge.

03/14/2016
The Quipster Reads Your Fan Letters

We want our fans to know that we love and appreciate your feedback, so our editor has taken some of your fanmail and is responding to it. Enjoy!

The Quipster Reads Your Fan Letters

Finally, something good has come out of the Stern Crushes page (besides the many shidduchim they have made poss...
03/07/2016
YU Stern Crushes Prevents an Attempted Suicide | The Quipster

Finally, something good has come out of the Stern Crushes page (besides the many shidduchim they have made possible).

Earlier this week, Shmuel Fochenblach, a young freshman at YU, stood on the edge of the George Washington Bridge contemplating suicide. However, one cannot ...

Students were shocked and delighted by the festivals award winning films. The professors attempted to usher them out of ...
03/02/2016
Honors Program Accidentally Takes Students to Adult Film Festival | The Quipster

Students were shocked and delighted by the festivals award winning films. The professors attempted to usher them out of the theater as quickly as possible, but to no avail.

In one of the most tastefully erotic mistakes ever to be made on campus, the Honors program at Yeshiva University accidentally took its students to an adult f...

The JScreen event happened right on time. Students were relieved to know that they would be tested before the biggest sh...
02/22/2016
Genetic Screening Leads to Very Successful TAC/SOY Shabbaton | The Quipster

The JScreen event happened right on time. Students were relieved to know that they would be tested before the biggest shidduch event of the year; the TAC/SOY shabbaton.

The ever increasing shidduch scene breathed a sigh of relief this week as YU offered a free genetic screening which, due to the crazy amount of incest on camp...

This new study has proven that no Jew should ever have fun or relax lest they be tempted by the opposite sex to *shudder...
02/15/2016
Scientists Conclude that Levity Definitely Leads to Mixed Dancing | The Quipster

This new study has proven that no Jew should ever have fun or relax lest they be tempted by the opposite sex to *shudder* participate in mixed dancing. (chas ve'shalom).

Scientists at Princeton University concluded this week after years and years of study, that “levity and foolishness of spirit, leads to mixed dancing 100% of ...

02/11/2016

YU Rallies Around Stupid Baseball Team; People Rightfully Take to Comments Section to Right Injustice.

As most Jews know, by simply comparing an opponents argument to Hitler, or any Nazi ideal really, anyone can win an argu...
02/11/2016
Jew Sneaks Hitler into Conversation to Win Argument | The Quipster

As most Jews know, by simply comparing an opponents argument to Hitler, or any Nazi ideal really, anyone can win an argument. It's really quite simple and I guarantee your opponent will Nazi it coming.

In a stunning final statement that would rival Johnnie Cochran’s “If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit,” Shloimy Gotleib won a heated debate at the Pesac...

There is plenty to do, lots of events to attend, and there are more holidays than just valentiens day!
02/10/2016
BREAKING OPINION: FEBRUARY IS NOT BORING | The Quipster

There is plenty to do, lots of events to attend, and there are more holidays than just valentiens day!

We were all shocked yesterday when the so-called “editor” of the so-called “Quipster,” wrote a so-called “article.” We were even more shocked when we read the...

The public has been outraged by the erection of this wall and has been demanding it be torn down. Students stuck in West...
12/30/2015
YU, In Power Play, Erects Wall To Prevent Food from Reaching West Nagel | The Quipster

The public has been outraged by the erection of this wall and has been demanding it be torn down. Students stuck in West Nagel have barely been able to study for finals without the import of new and tasty snacks.

In a recent attempt at completely separating the religiosity of Gluck and the evils of the secular of the library, Rav Kalinsky has erected a wall between Eas...

As we all know, some things are NEVER funny! Even if it is clearly a joke and obviously written from a different time pe...
12/29/2015
YU Satirical Paper, The Quapster, Faces Controversy Over Offensive Article | The Quipster

As we all know, some things are NEVER funny! Even if it is clearly a joke and obviously written from a different time period, our past mistakes should never be made fun of! How dare The Quapster!!!

Earlier this week, the Quapster, YU’s prominent and wildly popular satirical paper (not to be confused with The Quipster, YU’s source of real and honest to go...

I've heard of loving God, but this student took it a bit too far during Mincha. As fun as the brawl was to watch, it may...
12/21/2015
Massive Brawl Erupts in Glueck, Interrupting Hour Long Mincha | The Quipster

I've heard of loving God, but this student took it a bit too far during Mincha. As fun as the brawl was to watch, it may have been a bit of an overreaction.

What started out as a normal afternoon prayer service quickly dissolved into a scene of utter chaos. The culprit turned out to be a congregant, who after a ...

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