Shopacalypse

03/20/2025

Today marks one year since my sisters and I lost our belovedly dull mother. (Sir David Attenborough’s #1 biggest fan, if you’ll recall.) You all collectively helped me decide upon the memorial shrub to plant at the oldest’s lake house in her honor?

Under the most tenuous of circumstances, they flew in for 48 hours from Philadelphia and Maine, respectively, as the theory was this hallmark of mourning would suck less if passed collectively.

They are lodging in a cabin here in the Blue Ridge Mountains, which is decorated entirely in regionally relevant decor.

Between the three of us, we have 15 years of higher education, a handful of degrees, a Mensa membership or two, and relative worldliness. AND YET.

We are STUMPED.

Hive mind, help.

Of WTF is this a photo?!?!

Edited to add: this is artwork hanging in the kitchen.

03/20/2025

Are U.S. Americans as bad as you think? The algorithm likes to show me posts in international groups that express something like, “I’ve noticed that Americans seem slovenly/wasteful/gluttonous. Are you really that slovenly/wasteful/gluttonous?” It’s hilarious. I mean, maybe we are, but perhaps not as much as you think? I do indeed eat vegetables and cook for my family, rarely eat fast food, use reusable dishware and napkins, exercise regularly, and don’t like my desserts too sweet. Sometimes it’s wise to doubt the stereotypes. I doubt the negative ones I hear about you, but I do like to believe the nice ones. For instance, Canadians really do tend to be polite and kind.

The caveat is that we U.S. Americans are suffering from food and healthcare systems that prioritize profits over health and disproportionately harm poor and vulnerable populations. Those populations also work more and harder and often don’t have access to resources like fresh food and time to exercise and cook. Even a safe neighborhood to walk or ride a bike can be a luxury. I try to err on the side of compassion instead of judgment.

Photo of my husband’s lunch. Eggs from my mom’s chickens, homemade whey toast (made with whey from our homemade yogurt), and fresh marinara.

Edit: getting lots of comments about how crazy it is that I specified using reusable dishware. The only reason I did is because of a recent post where someone asked if we usually use disposable ones. 😆

03/20/2025

A question for my Australian friends. I’m heading for my first visit to your beautiful country next week and before I embarrass myself before I get there…. Is the city I’m visiting pronounced
“Bris- BIN”
or
“Bris- BAIN” ?

You can guess the US state I’m from by this photo of last night’s dinner. Sorry for the corn… to you purists.
No banana in the recipe.
Shoe size 8

UPDATE
WOW! The people have spoken!!
I’ll say BRISBN or if I want to be an edgy, insider it will be BRISVEGAS. 🤣

MELBN was a surprise. 🤷🏻‍♀️

SECOND UPDATE
WOW! Such debate about chili.
Ok. It’s not at all authentic Texas chili. I admit it. It’s actually what we’d call goulash, since I serve it over wagon wheel pasta. Nonetheless , it’s delicious.
To atone for this sin…
I shall post my very involved recipe for
REAL Texas chili. If you’re invested enough to care….

03/20/2025

Someone cleaned out and rearranged the cutlery drawer at work. It was a week ago and I just can't deal. Do I rearrange again? The issue is the knives vs teaspoon placement...and let's not dismiss the far right section either 😳🙈.
43, shoe size 6, everyone in my house has learnt not to try and help me hang or remove my washing from the line 😆🇦🇺

03/20/2025

I love tea.

I'm American, so all I've ever really had was water boiled in a whistling stove-top kettle or zapped in the microwave, unless I order tea from a shop or restaurant, leading the Server to instantly hate me.

(Having worked as a Server, I know the hatred is real for patrons who order tea, especially at restaurants. I try to mitigate it by specifying I literally only want the hot water and two teabags; no sugar, honey, lemon, or cream. Just a strong cup of tea. Inevitably, I get all the things I mentioned I don't want, leading to waste and resentment, plus rapidly-cooling water.)

At home, the whistler takes too long and startles me when it's finally ready because I can't see what's happening and then, without warning, everyone on the block knows the water is ready. It's then a race against time to get the whistler to stop whistling and still have boiling water for my cup. The adrenaline defeats the purpose of the tea and I end up feeling a certain unpleasant type of way that is less than dull.

Microwaved water makes inconsistent, funny-tasting tea, leading me to drink less tea than I desire to consume, leading to a grouchy, unfulfilled, less than dull life. Those close to me wind up suffering.

Last Sunday, my dear spouse's coffee-maker quietly shuffled off its mortal coil and he was left coffeeless and bereft of caffeine. He said a few words over its lightless co**se, none of them nearly dull enough to write in this gentle space without catching a ban, and we trundled out of the city to the suburban housewife mecca known as Target to find a successor. A Mr. Coffee lll, if you will.

There, among the Keurigs and Bodum and Mr. Coffees, I spotted an electric kettle. My heart danced in my chest and I said, "It's only twenty dollars and all my friends in the UK and Oz have them," while sliding my shopping buggy closer to the shelf in case one of the kettles should fall into it.

Twenty dollars later, I can have a perfect cup of tea about two minutes after

03/20/2025

Hello Sister Dullards…This is my daughter, Ashlea. She had a bout with kidney stones in November. It wasn’t any fun. She awakened me again last night, as she was again writhing in pain from more kidney stones. We went to the hospital this time, they admitted her, and this morning at 7:14am, she gave birth to twins. One being 4.5mm, and the second one a bit smaller. I wear size 8 shoe, but buy 9’s because I hate the feel of anything touching my feet too tightly, and the glorious ripe age of 62. She’s smiling with her banana she had for breakfast this morning, just for you. God Bless each one.

03/20/2025

03/20/2025

My husband made this beautiful farmhouse table for me alittle over a year ago "Please advise me whether I should give it a new look or not. My husband also tells me every day not to give it a new look."

12/14/2024

12/14/2024

We replaced the vinyl windows in our stairs with custom stained glass this past year. The transformation of our staircase from these windows is incredible… it feels like we are stepping back in time.

Instagram: JonesRevival

**Update: for those asking, we have a family friend who makes stained glass in retirement. These were not salvaged from somewhere else.

Additionally, prior to install, we had them vacuum sealed between tempered glass to prevent bending, cracking, and having to put storm windows on them down the road.

12/14/2024

My house was built in 1927. I found this 10 foot long china cabinet on marketplace for 500 dollars. I plan to hang the upper half and put a marble counter top on the bottom half creating a butler's pantry off one side of the kitchen.

12/14/2024

Another bedroom finished in the old home I’m restoring. It’s been in the family since 1959, I moved away in 1978 and I bought out my surviving sibling this Spring. It was unoccupied since 2020. I know for a fact these floors haven’t been refinished since the 1960, maybe even since 1952. Yet a quick cleaning with Murphy’s water mix gave me this: