08/12/2025
JOKE OF THE DAY: An elderly couple, Bert and Edna, are sitting on the porch swing one quiet Sunday evening.
They've been married for 55 years. The sun is setting, the birds are chirping, and they're both sipping lukewarm tea, watching squirrels fight over a Cheeto in the yard.
Out of the blue, Edna sighs and says, âBert, letâs talk about our bucket lists.â
Bert raises an eyebrow. âBucket lists? Edna, Iâm 87. My list is down to âwake up tomorrow and remember where I put my pants.ââ
Edna chuckles. âNo, Iâm serious. Before we go, we should each do something weâve always wanted to do but never had the chance.â
Bert thinks for a moment. âAlright, fine. Iâve always wanted to go skydiving.â
Edna's eyes widen. âSkydiving?! Bert, the last time you bent down to tie your shoe, you passed out for three minutes.â
Bert shrugs. âWell, if I die mid-air, just let me land in the neighbor's garden. Iâve always wanted to haunt him.â
They laugh, and Edna nods. âOkay, okay. You go skydiving. Iâll do mine too.â
Bert squints. âAnd whatâs yours?â
Edna suddenly gets this mischievous sparkle in her eye â the same one she had back in 1965 when she âaccidentallyâ dropped Bertâs bowling trophy out the car window during an argument.
âIâve always wanted to confess something to you, Bert.â
Bert gulps. âConfess what?â
Edna leans closer and whispers, âYou know how your favorite recliner always mysteriously leaned to the left for 20 years?â
Bert nods. âYeah, blamed the dog. Poor thing limped for weeks.â
Edna smiles. âWell, it was me. I jammed a spatula in the bottom after you spilled grape soda on my new curtains in â89.â
Bert gasps. âYou monster!â
Edna giggles. âAnd remember that time the remote kept changing the channel to the Hallmark channel, no matter what button you pressed?â
Bert blinks. âYou said it was haunted!â
Edna smirks. âNope. I glued a penny inside the battery compartment to short-circuit it. You never missed a single Christmas romance movie for five straight years.â
Bertâs mouth drops open. âWhy would you do that?!â
Edna sips her tea, serene. âBecause payback, dear, is best served with mistletoe and slow-motion snowball fights.â
After a long pause, Bert leans back in the swing and says, âYou know what, Edna? Iâve got a confession too.â âŹïž (Continuation in first comment)đđ