Mike On Parenting Stratigies

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09/18/2026

I could have spent that entire game trying to stop the negativity. Instead, I decided to give her a reason to notice the positivity. And the difference was INCREDIBLE! She didn’t suddenly become a different kid. I simply changed what I was paying attention to. This doesn’t mean you ignore negative behavior. It means you don’t want to accidentally make negative behavior the thing that gets the most attention. Try catching the little things: “I noticed you kept trying” “I like how you smiled at her” “You were frustrated and you kept going” “Did you see your brother’s face when you said that nice thing?” And you don’t have to turn everything into a reward. The “reward” can simply be your attention. 💯 Your smile. Your acknowledgment. Your excitement. Your connection. Because what gets noticed tends to get repeated. Try it during a car ride, baking together, a swimming lesson, a board game, or even just getting through a difficult moment. Instead of asking, “How do I stop this behavior?” Try asking: “What behavior do I want to see more of and how can I catch it?”

09/17/2026

I don’t force my kids to apologize…and neither should you. Yes, I want my kids to apologize. 😃 But I don’t want them standing there angry, crying, embarrassed, or completely dysregulated while I demand: “SAY YOU’RE SORRY” That’s not teaching an apology. That’s teaching them to say the magic words so the adult will stop bothering them. And honestly? I’m not very good at apologizing when I’m heated either. 😠 I need time to cool down. I need time to think. Sometimes I need to realize.. “Yeah… I could have handled that better” So why would I expect my kids to be better at it? Instead, I’ll come back to it later. Maybe privately: “Is there something you want to say to your sister before we read our books in a little bit?” Now they have a choice. They can think about what happened. They can take responsibility. They can repair the relationship. And THAT apology is far more likely to be sincere because it came from them, not because I forced them to perform it. And yes, if they accidentally hurt someone, I’m going to help them acknowledge it right away: “Whoa, that hurt. Let’s check on them.” But a sibling fight? A big emotional blowup? You don’t need to force an apology while everyone is still fired up. Let them calm down. Then teach them how to repair. Because the goal isn’t to raise kids who know how to say “sorry” The goal is to raise kids who actually know how to make things right.

09/16/2026

We spend so much time trying to get our kids to behave better… But what if we spent more time asking: “What skill does my child need to learn here?” Giving up a toy isn’t just about sharing. It’s practicing flexibility and letting go of control. Handling a big emotion isn’t just about calming down. It’s practicing how to move through frustration without letting it control you. Hearing “no” isn’t just about obedience. It’s practicing disappointment. Repairing after an argument isn’t just about saying “sorry” It’s practicing how to maintain relationships. Waiting isn’t just about patience. It’s practicing delayed gratification. And solving their own problems isn’t just about making our lives easier. It’s practicing confidence and independence. These skills don’t magically appear when they become teenagers or adults. We build them through hundreds of small moments while they’re growing up. So the next time your child is struggling, instead of only thinking: “HOW DO I GET THEM TO STOP?” Try asking: “What skill can I help them practice right now?” 💯

09/15/2026

Sometimes it’s not what we say to our kids. It’s how we say it. “Do you need a break?” “Calm down.” “How many times do I need to tell you?” Those same words can sound completely different depending on our tone. Our kids can hear the frustration, urgency, sarcasm, or calmness behind our words. And no, this doesn’t mean you need to speak in a perfectly calm voice 100% of the time. You’re human. But when you notice your tone starting to escalate, try pausing and changing how you say it before changing what you say. Because sometimes the words don’t need to change. The delivery does.

09/14/2026

When your kid isn’t listening, it’s easy to think you just need to try harder. Talk louder. Explain more. Add a consequence. Try to make them laugh. But sometimes those things are actually making the situation worse. Instead of repeating yourself louder, try getting closer and changing your approach. Instead of adding more words, pause and give them a chance to process. And if you want to use playfulness or silliness, use it before the refusal starts…not after they’ve already said no. Once they’re resisting, suddenly turning into the “fun parent” is a gamble that will boost their refusal behaviors, make you look silly… or both! 😅 The goal isn’t to find the perfect phrase that makes your kid immediately cooperate. It’s to understand what’s happening and have a strategy that actually changes the pattern. Thank you for following here and implementing what you learn!! 🙌🙌🙌 Your kids will thank you… with their BEHAVIOR! 😃

09/12/2026

Sometimes the problem isn’t that our kids won’t listen. Sometimes… we’re just asking them to do a LOT. Think about how many times a day your child hears: “Go do this…” “Stop doing that” “Come here” “Put that away” “Get ready” “Don’t touch that” Individually, these requests might be completely reasonable. But stacked on top of each other all day long? It can feel overwhelming to a kid… and they’ll communicate “it’s too much” with their behavior. So before giving another direction, try asking yourself: “Do I really need to tell them to do this?” Sometimes I can simply start doing it myself: “Uhh… I’ll get the blocks.” And then just start… Kids will often jump in and say..”I’ll get the trucks!” Not because I tricked them into cleaning. Because kids often respond differently when we stop turning every little thing into a demand. And yes… sometimes they’ll just watch you clean up. 😂 That’s okay too. This isn’t about doing everything for your child. It’s about becoming more intentional about which things actually need to be a demand and which things don’t. Try reducing just a few demands today and see what changes. Less telling. More showing. Less friction. More connection.

09/10/2026

“Okay” is a small word with a big impact. When kids learn how to say “okay,” they’re not just being obedient… they’re practicing flexibility, self-control, and cooperation. It gives them a simple, clear way to respond when they don’t love the answer… without melting down, arguing, or shutting down. You’re not raising robots. You’re teaching skills they’ll use in school, friendships, and life. Start with one word. Watch cooperation grow. You can comment “Me” or click the link in my bio to sign up.

09/09/2026

You don’t need to become a completely different parent. You probably don’t even need to change 20 things. Sometimes the biggest changes in our kids’ behavior start with a few small changes in how we respond to them. More connection. Clearer boundaries. Less talking. More consistency. More opportunities for them to figure things out on their own. And then… we practice. Because parenting isn’t about getting it right every time. It’s about noticing what isn’t working, making a small adjustment, and trying again. Please share this with a parenting friend who is always striving to get better. 😊

09/08/2026

When was the last time you had an original thought? Or came up with a solution to a problem you’d been stuck on? It probably wasn’t while you had your phone in your hand. It probably wasn’t while you were playing a game or constantly consuming something. It was probably during some semblance of silence. In the car. In the shower. On a walk. Staring at the ceiling as you drifted off to sleep. It’s the same for our kids. But we’ve gotten really good at making sure they’re NEVER bored. 😬 The second they say, “I’m bored” we hand them something to do (or a device) Instead, let’s help them build the skill of engaging themselves during downtime. Have them create a list of things they can do when there’s “nothing to do.” Read. Draw. Build. Go outside. Make something. Practice something. Look around and find something interesting. That list gives them a starting point so “I’m bored” doesn’t immediately turn into anxiety or “Mom/Dad, what can I do?!” And sometimes? It’s okay for them to just… DO. NOTHING. Because we don’t ALWAYS need to fill every quiet moment. Some of our kids’ best ideas, creativity, problem-solving, and original thoughts might come from those moments we’re so quick to fill. Boredom isn’t something we always need to fix. Sometimes, it’s a skill we need to teach.

09/07/2026

What if one of the easiest ways to change the energy in your household was to say YES more often? Not yes to everything. Not removing boundaries. Not letting your kids run the show. Just looking for more moments to say “sure” when your kid asks appropriately, needs your help, or wants to connect with you. Because sometimes our kids hear “no” so often that they start expecting every request to become a negotiation. So today, try catching yourself before the automatic “no” comes out. And if the answer can be yes… Try “sure.” It might change more than you think. #̭parentingtips

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