09/18/2026
I could have spent that entire game trying to stop the negativity. Instead, I decided to give her a reason to notice the positivity. And the difference was INCREDIBLE! She didn’t suddenly become a different kid. I simply changed what I was paying attention to. This doesn’t mean you ignore negative behavior. It means you don’t want to accidentally make negative behavior the thing that gets the most attention. Try catching the little things: “I noticed you kept trying” “I like how you smiled at her” “You were frustrated and you kept going” “Did you see your brother’s face when you said that nice thing?” And you don’t have to turn everything into a reward. The “reward” can simply be your attention. 💯 Your smile. Your acknowledgment. Your excitement. Your connection. Because what gets noticed tends to get repeated. Try it during a car ride, baking together, a swimming lesson, a board game, or even just getting through a difficult moment. Instead of asking, “How do I stop this behavior?” Try asking: “What behavior do I want to see more of and how can I catch it?”