Bri Mahon, Newport Beach, CA (2026)

05/13/2026

it’s been awhile
since i’ve really shared
or posted

because I am living with these two bricks
on my shoulders
one on the right
one on the left

they have different purposes
but each is heavy enough
that I always know
they are there-
I feel them like they are
almost part of me now
because as I move and exist in the unknown
so do they

One Brick is my mind convincing me
the cancer is back.

it reminds me daily
that my bloodwork shows small, inconsistent signs
of ctDNA-
too small to treat
too consistent to ignore

it reminds me of PET scans
that I have an mri tomorrow
I see my oncologist regularly
i haven’t done all the things I should be doing…

and because of that
maybe it is coming back
and if it does
it could be anywhere.

The Other Brick
pretends cancer never existed.

cancer?
oh no
not me!
it’s a blackout kind of denial.
denial denial denial.
because
i’m tired of all of it-
i’m tired of talking about it
thinking about it
worrying about it
sharing it — i’m tired of it
i want it to go away.

both Bricks are still there.
some days are heavier than others
and
they are a two for one deal-
I can’t put one down
without carrying the other
they take turns weighing me down
but mostly
they work in tandem.

I feel fine until i’m not
I forget
and then I show up at my appointments
test after test after test

nothing —
but something
no answers —
just more testing
bloodwork
ct
pet
mri
repeat.

so i’m here
in this place
Of in between forever.
I try to take the bricks off-
because stress causes cancer too,
doesn’t it?

but somehow
I glued them there myself
with some magic glue I invented
and now
I don’t know how to remove them…
that’s what has been weighing me down
silently.

i’ve been quiet because
I don’t even know how to explain this feeling
I don’t know what words belong to it
honestly-
it feels like i never really fully came up for air.

I have been waiting
since that first positive signatera result months ago…
waiting for something
that may or may not be around the corner
and that’s the hardest part.

during cancer
it felt like being trapped in a glass box
now it’s different
now it feels like
standing too close
to the edge of a cliff
on a very windy day

02/19/2026

Happiness 🌞
Healing ❤️‍🩹
Hands up
Horses 🐴
Hello 🐈‍⬛
Heartbreak 💔
Hand holding
Hair
Hospitals 🏥
Hugs
Huge ass snake 🐍
Hope 🌈

01/30/2026

I have been quiet on here and hiding a little bit and
trying to find myself and life again 💛

Its as soon as it feels like things are lighter -
Bloodwork comes back -there’s something flagged.
More tests and scans- nothing to show.
More bloodwork.
Rinse, repeat.

I feel like I’ve been in this halfway space
Of healing -
And hurting.
And moving on.
Maybe not “on” but forward.

I feel like it wasn’t me who went through any of this. - cancer, NICU, listeria, my friend passing, all of it.

But I also am so changed and different- something happened to me.
But I wasn’t awake.
I was so foggy.
Tired.
Not me.

And now I’m finding parts of myself daily.
And it’s been nice to just notice -
And see myself
And feel myself
starting to wake up.

Yet in my mind
There’s a tiny peace of my trauma living there.
It’s still there
I’m reminded in the little moments -
In the ups and downs of
Bloodwork
Scans
Motherhood
Disregulated screaming toddlers
That won’t let me comfort them at the same time…
So there’s more screaming and
I feel like I’m messing everything up.

It’s in all the hormone replacement therapy
And when I forget to take my HRT, it’s in my hot flashes.
The reminder of menopause.
In the reminder that I have to get more tests to see if I can ever have kids again.

I’ve been in this interesting waiting space- I’m so used to life happening TO me, that I’m used to kind of holding my breath and just waiting.

I haven’t been answering because I don’t know the answers. it’s exhausting waiting for bad news or good news and building in anticipation. So today is the day I stop the cycle. Because It’s where I’ve lived every day for so long- it’s like I don’t know how not to.

Today I had a PET scan and it was the first one in years where I haven’t cried. I think today was a baby step - a snapshot of the hard work I’ve put in to process through.
My guess is I will have more pet scans. More tests. More bloodwork.

But today I’m going to focus on how far I’ve come and what I do know:

I’ve gotten this far, so I’m going to trust I can keep going 💛

I missed you friends :)

12/29/2025

home from the hospital and reunited with twin brother ❤️🫶

I don’t know how but we somehow captured the sweetest moment between these two. 🥹

These boys love each other but most of the time they are like water and oil together- 😅 but it’s moments like this that truly are the most special part of life and having twins.

The boys have never spent a night apart until this incident- and they were SO excited to see “brother” 🫶
Banks is on oxygen at home in Colorado for a few days at elevation until we take off back to sea level in California.
Thank you for all your messages and support and love- we feel it and I know it works. ❤️

I’m going to enjoy these sweet moments between the two while they last 🫶🎈

12/26/2025

third Xmas in the hospital in 4 years-Phewph. grateful to always come out stronger and healthier. ❤️🫶

we took an ambulance to the hospital yesterday - banks was having a hard time breathing and his fever was escalating, his oxygen too low. RSV has always been my greatest fear- but he is strong and handling it like a champ and I’m always so impressed with how resilient he and his brother are.
He is doing much better this morning and we are going to trial how he does without oxygen today ❤️

thank you for your sweet love and messages and thoughts- this boy misses his brother, wants to go home and play guitar and is perking up already. 🫶

09/12/2025

Happy 3rd Birthday Banks + Brooks!!! 🤗🤠🏇🐴
🎂🎈🎉🫶🥹

this is a late post :) but a necessary one- these boys deserve ALL the celebration and love and awe.

Born at 23 weeks we were told there was 0 chance- they wouldn’t even survive a c section.
I was in labor for a week while septic.
23 weeks and 5 days pregnant- the boys decided it was time to come into the world.

With no pain medication- I was wheeled into the operating room to deliver naturally (the only option for the boys) and the chances regardless were pretty much 0.

There were over 10 nurses and doctors in the operating room. Blake was in a hazmat suit.

They didn’t think the boys would survive birth- so they told me once I delivered both boys they would wrap them up so I could hold them and say goodbye.

The boys somehow made it. 6 minutes apart.
My placentas were infected and they had to throw them away in hazardous waste. I remember needing to “birth” those too and watched them get tossed into a red garbage can.

The boys were so critical they were had to be given manual breaths while wheeled down to the NICU in an isolate- each boy had 1 neonatologist and 3 nurses helping them.
I was still septic so I had to immediately go back to my hospital room for blood draws and tests and antibiotics.

I didn’t get to hold Banks until he was 30 days old.
It was the first time I touched his skin to mine.
I had to wait 60 days to hold Brooks- he was more critical. The the rollercoaster of hell- months in the NICU, endless setbacks, 6 surgeries later, every up and down imaginable.

And now.
The past 3 years feels like many lifetimes.

They made it.
I made it.
We made it.

I do need to say thank you to every single doctor and nurse who saved my boys.
You didn’t just save them-
you saved me, too.
Not just my life
but my soul and heart and
every purpose I’ve known.

I don’t know if I can ever use words to describe facing the odds like this and then being here now.
All I can think of is miracle miracle miracle.
I will never take a day for granted. ❤️

3 beautiful golden years with my miracle boys 🤍
and so so many more beautiful miracle years to come 🫶

08/19/2025

I think this goodbye
Is as good as it gets
We’ve had several days
And it’s time for you to rest.

Our last afternoon
As I kiss you with tears
As we lay on the sun
A reminder
this end is

so far
and
too near.

I soak it all in
The last twenty years…
You watched me grow through
love -
pain -
hate -
and my fears.

You watched me survive,
more than just once
Watch my heart break
And fall in love.

You were at our wedding
You got to meet the boys
You’ve traveled and camped
And destroyed many toys
You’ve even been to the beach
in half moon bay
A symbol of the half of my heart
that is about to pass
with you today.

I would come home from school
And call our your name
You would sprint in my arms
And purr the rest of the day

And you would sleep on my chest
your gentle paw in my hand
I’d whisper
“I love you,”
again and again.

I’ve spent more time with you
Than I have with myself
Because with you
I’m the best and most real
Version of myself.

You’ve loved me through cancer
Through depression
Through divorce and bankruptcy
You’ve loved me for me
Since I was 16.

You’ve sat through
Through my worst
With your blue angel eyes
And you still softly loved me
Through my achy long cries
When I didn’t know
who I would be
Or
who I was -
You always knew me.

I will see you again
When I look at the stars
When a hummingbird flies by
When the oceans sparkle extra far

In the sun
in the grass
I’ll always pause
And remember
How you
Were my best gift in life
Forever my Nar.

This is our goodbye
It’s too slow and to fast
Seeing you fade in the cool summer grass
I’ll never stop crying
Or thinking of you
Your sweet smell of cupcakes and honeydew.

And I promise to find you
In our Next lifetime
Whether in the half of the moon
Or in the windy skies-

I promise I promise
It’s you and me.
I will never have a life without you
Because with you,
I am fully me.

🤍

07/24/2025

happy birthday to my amazing husband and best friend and soul mate ❤️ you are the kind of person that has shaped the way I see love, life, abundance, miracles, and hope.

it’s amazing but not surprising we ended up meeting in Costa Rica when you asked me to watch your bags at baggage claim. it’s like how I always pull the lovers card when I’m reading tarot for you. another sign that we were always meant for each other.

you’ve held my hand through cancer, the NICU, many mental health struggles, international and national moves, -career changes.. so much. so much.

you are a miracle of your own, beating rare childhood cancer twice and then holding me during my cancer battle.
our life together has been a whirlwind of “life” and I wouldn’t change a thing because I’ve gotten to experience such depth with you.

you’ve own you’ve always told me your dream is to see me live the life of my dreams.
& the best part is
I am
with
you
❤️

06/25/2025

9 years of marriage today!!! 💍🍾🎉💒

I never imagined moving to Costa Rica on a whim would lead me to finding my soulmate and the best chapters of my life 🥰

When Blake and I met in Costa Rica, I was recovering from an eating disorder and had recently dropped out of college, and Blake had just recovered from battling his second round of cancer.

You would think we were broken and lost but really we both were so filled up by life -
like it was just starting.

The day I met Blake he told his friend “that’s the girl I’m going to marry.”

One of the best compliments we’ve ever gotten was how we loved each other and stayed close and committed in our relationship through the NICU and my cancer journey.

We have not been handed easy cards.

But we have accomplished SO much.

We have run a business together, both survived cancer, moved countless times to different states and countries, traveled the world together with barely any money, had preemie twins,

and created a beautiful life
amidst the chaos. -
never doubting that no matter what, together we are home. 🏡

It’s a special day
celebrating everything it took
in the universe to bring us together

and how we have
loved each other more
despite all the things
that could have
torn us apart. ❤️

Happy 9 years of us ❤️🫶🏝️
And yes we did Acro yoga as our first dance at our wedding 🙃 I love you.

❤️

04/24/2025

some behind the scenes 🎬
little golden bits
of life
being magical 🧚🍄🎨

I never ever ever want to forget
how good and loving
life can be 🫶

Bri Mahon

05/13/2026

02/19/2026

01/30/2026

12/29/2025

12/26/2025

09/12/2025

08/19/2025

07/24/2025

06/25/2025

04/24/2025

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