10/02/2019
My father had this shipped out from Hue, Vietnam to the states. This is my family’s alter we’ve owned for 25 years. We grew up on section 8 housing which meant, we never stayed at a home for too long depending on where funding was. But somehow, my family managed to bring this artifact with us to wherever we called “home.”
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On almost every Buddhist-Viet altar, there are statues of multiple Buddhas, fruit/food, flowers, and most importantly, photos of our ancestors, specifically our grandparents.
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When I was 10, I remember looking my mom straight in the eye and telling her “I will never continue this practice. It’s stupid and wasteful.” The look of my mother’s eyes filled with grief, anger, and sadness as she responds “Don’t you ever tell your father” which I’m sure in her head she’s probably like “you dumb privileged bratty ungrateful motherf**ker.” Lol ok back to the story.
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In 2017, I had a vision where I wanted to produce a short film called XANH that explores Buddhism, spirituality, gender identity, and being Vietnamese. I discovered that Buddhism and q***rness really tie with one another where both practices meant really embodying what its like to be within your body despite the challenges of things like gender dysphoria and trauma.
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I asked my parents if I could have a 40 people crew of q***rs carry this out in the middle of a fu***ng field to be in my film. I was nervous that they would say no, but they responded with “are you sure, it’s really fu***ng heavy.” (They didn’t say “fu***ng” but I’m a dramatic storyteller).
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I believe that we are the generation of healers and we have the ability to stop cycles of harm and intergenerational trauma. XANH was the product of my lived experience and my relationship with my mother. XANH was produced 3 years ago and this week, we released it to the public. I’m so fu***ng nervous to share it with you all because I was like a bb q***r 3 years ago but this also is a piece of me that served my growth and healing process as a filmmaker. I hope you enjoy and get a taste of my weird mind. (LINK IN BIO)
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