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07/08/2026

I always read my wife’s horoscope to see what kind of day I am going to have.

07/08/2026

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are usually wanted.

07/08/2026

This morning I cracked an egg, and pantyhose fell out.
If you get this, you're old.😂😅

07/08/2026

I'm not saying I order from Amazon a lot, but I just received a wedding invitation from one of their drivers.

07/08/2026

I'm so glad all these Holidays are over. I've been drunk since Halloween.

07/08/2026

Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

07/08/2026

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that.

I didn't read the whole article. 😏

07/07/2026

Remember, no one can prove that you weren't a regional manager for Blockbuster, Radio Shack, or Toys'R'Us!

07/07/2026

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.

07/07/2026

Someone should invent a microwave bed where you can get 8 hours of sleep in 3 minutes.

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