06/28/2026
I see you everywhere.
In every pot you planted.
In every piece of furniture you put together.
In every moment we laughed on the couch. Every movie we cuddled together.
I feel the ghost of you already hallowing through everything and I know in that sense, youโll never really be gone.
Iโm angry
Iโm relieved
Iโm sad...
all at once.
Iโm sorry that we couldnโt make it.
I tried.
I did everything I could to get ahead of the drama and somehow, it always seems to find me.
Like a curse,
again I lay hurt.
Like the only fruit spawned from a botched & broken bloodlineโฆ
๐๐ฝ๐ผ๐ถ๐น๐ฒ๐ฑ.
All there will ever be is lies, deceit, pain. Yet somehow, I will always look back on it with great gratitude.
The trips, the drugs, the dances. The late nights bleeding into sunlight. The s*x until we both left through the ceiling. The green in your eyes and the yellow in your one tooth.
When now the only color, is red.
I was so wrapped up in only safety and peace. The grief I have now for realizing, perhaps it really never was actually there.
No more visions of the future and excitement about what could one day be. Once again, I lay...
only me.
When did we shift timelines?
Wondering why and where did it all fall apart. I knew from the start I could trust you, and believe me that was so rare. I did all that I could to preserve it.
I lived open, honest, and bare.
Finally free enough to love naively, like only a child could do. My only mistakeโฆ
was assuming you could do it too.
I loved you.
I will always love you.
To experience such a high, could only come with the dreaded crash I know so well. I look back to last summer โ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข๐ต ๐ญ๐ข๐ด๐ต, ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ข๐ต ๐ญ๐ข๐ด๐ต!โ and I remember that was all that I felt.
My safe space, my person.
I finally had it, and it was enough.
Life with you was a dream.โจ But like all dreamsโฆ
it ended because I woke up.