09/10/2025                                                                            
                                    
                                    
                                                                        
                                        Did you know that...
domestic abuse takes away a sense of self?
 
Where there is domestic abuse, victims are taken as far away from themselves as it's possible to go. The loss of personal identity that they experience is because the abuser constantly undermines the victim. The abuser makes them feel as though everything they experience is their fault, calling into question their personality and their motives. The use of subtle put-downs, gaslighting, manipulation, and constant criticism breaks down their self-perceptions. It makes them rely on their abusers for "the truth" about who they are. Often the abusers will try to mold them by saying it is in their "best interests" to change.
 
Abuse causes a person to retreat into one’s self, sometimes creating emotional paralysis. The mind develops methods to cope with abuse. A pseudo-personality is sometimes one of the coping methods when a disconnection occurs. The victim is unable to experience themself with others as a result of being treated as less than human. There is further disconnection when others don’t properly acknowledge or recognize the traumatic experience. Many friends and family members do not have any knowledge of what it is to experience this type of trauma. Trauma causes the victim to lose basic trust, which causes them to feel that they belong more to the dead than to the living.
 
"You are the one who put me together inside my mother's body, and I praise You because of the wonderful way You created me. Everything You do is marvelous! Of this I have no doubt. Nothing about me is hidden from You! I was secretly woven together out of human sight, but with Your own eyes You saw my body being formed. Even before I was born, You had written in Your book everything about me."
Psalm 139:13-16 (CEV)