The Staten Island Islander

Finally, a trusted news source for Staten Island.

BP Lowers Verrazano Toll by 50 Cents to Honor Death of Bubba Smith
08/04/2011
BP Lowers Verrazano Toll by 50 Cents to Honor Death of Bubba Smith

BP Lowers Verrazano Toll by 50 Cents to Honor Death of Bubba Smith


STATEN ISLAND, NY—The flag at Staten Island City Hall is flying at half mast today. Not because the Dow is down 400 points, or because we are in the midst of two wars. Not even to mourn the many who Islanders who during 9-11.
“Isn’t it obvious,” said the Louie Gialluisi, the exa

Dick's Sporting Goods Finally Opens; Island Expatriate Moves Back To Celebrate
08/03/2011
Dick's Sporting Goods Finally Opens; Island Expatriate Moves Back To Celebrate

Dick's Sporting Goods Finally Opens; Island Expatriate Moves Back To Celebrate


STATEN ISLAND, NY—Travis Gargiullo emerged from a 20-year depression yesterday. He didn’t fall in love or find a long lost sibling. No, Gargiullo a former assistant manager at Hermann’s Sporting Goods, finally found a proper place to shop for his softball equipment.
“Dick’s Spor

What the Debt Ceiling Agreement Means for Islanders: The Ugotz
08/01/2011
What the Debt Ceiling Agreement Means for Islanders: The Ugotz

What the Debt Ceiling Agreement Means for Islanders: The Ugotz


STATEN ISLAND, NY—As has been widely reported, Congress and the White House have reached an agreement to raise the debt ceiling and avert default. However, SII has acquired a Microsoft Word version of the bill and did a “Command F” search to find every mention of Staten Islan

Lender's Bagel Named "Best Bagel" on Staten Island
07/31/2011
Lender's Bagel Named "Best Bagel" on Staten Island

Lender's Bagel Named "Best Bagel" on Staten Island


STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. - The results are IN! Lender’s Bagel, that venerable brand which has been in our hearts for decades was voted Best Bagel On Staten Island.
“We are elated,” said a Nick Endorlini, VP of Food for Pinnacle Foods, the folks who bring you Snyder’s Pretzels, Log Ca

Smurfs Outpaces Cowboys & Aliens at SI Box Office
07/31/2011
Smurfs Outpaces Cowboys & Aliens at SI Box Office

Smurfs Outpaces Cowboys & Aliens at SI Box Office


STATEN ISLAND, N.Y— It has been a pretty exciting Summer so far for film lovers everywhere on Staten Island. June brought us Mr. Popper’s Penguins and Transformers: Dark of the Moon. July has turned it up a few degrees by introducing Smurfs 3D, Cowboys & Aliens, and our persona

Island Man Mistakenly Cools Off with Pepper Spray
07/24/2011
Island Man Mistakenly Cools Off with Pepper Spray

Island Man Mistakenly Cools Off with Pepper Spray


STATEN ISLAND, N.Y—An Island man was rushed to the St. Vincent’s Burn Unit yesterday after spraying himself in the face repeatedly with pepper spray.

Family members explained that Island native Fabiano “Fabby” Mazzanti had been working on a new product prototype for his pizze

Island Pols Deadlocked on Sunday Gravy Debt Ceiling Talks
07/24/2011
Island Pols Deadlocked on Sunday Gravy Debt Ceiling Talks

Island Pols Deadlocked on Sunday Gravy Debt Ceiling Talks


Staten Island, NY — Borough President James P. Molinaro called an emergency meeting in his kitchen today for all state and local Island representatives to hash out a deal to raise the borough’s Sunday Gravy debt ceiling before it expires on Aug. 2.
“It’s time for compromise and

Island BP Issues Fatwa Against The Smurfs
07/22/2011
Island BP Issues Fatwa Against The Smurfs

Island BP Issues Fatwa Against The Smurfs

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y—Staten Island Borough President James P. Molinaro has issued his first ever “fatwa” against what he calls The Smurf infidels.
As previously reported, to celebrate the upcoming release of the 3D movie featuring the blue 1980s cartoon characters, Sony Pictures

Gasoline Prices, Obituaries, and Lottery Numbers Top SI News Again
05/11/2011
Gasoline Prices, Obituaries, and Lottery Numbers Top SI News Again

Gasoline Prices, Obituaries, and Lottery Numbers Top SI News Again

Gasoline Prices, Obituaries, and Lottery Numbers Top SI News Again:
A reminder to our readers: when it comes to getting the real news, Island residents turn to the Staten Island Islander. Over the past 13 months, we have reported on everything from local wolf attacks to coverag

Bin Laden News Overshadows Island Softball Stunner
05/03/2011
Bin Laden News Overshadows Island Softball Stunner

Bin Laden News Overshadows Island Softball Stunner

Bin Laden News Overshadows Island Softball Stunner: STATEN ISLAND, NY -On Monday, Lee’s Tavern managed to edge the Rhythm & Brews team for a 6-5 victory. Joe Vicazzi blasted a two-run homer for the win. Afterwards, Vicazzi drank two cans of domestic beer, took off all his clothes

Boro Prez Confirms Bin Laden Sh*t His Pants Last Night
05/03/2011
Boro Prez Confirms Bin Laden Sh*t His Pants Last Night

Boro Prez Confirms Bin Laden Sh*t His Pants Last Night


STATEN ISLAND, NY - Staten Island Borough President James P. Molinaro claims that Osama Bin Laden defecated in his pants before being shot in the head by US Navy Seals last night.
“My buddy Jimmy Giovanazzi knows a guy whose uncle served in the Navy. He said that his best man fr

Katie Couric Leaving CBS for Staten Island Islander
04/28/2011
Katie Couric Leaving CBS for Staten Island Islander

Katie Couric Leaving CBS for Staten Island Islander

Katie Couric Leaving CBS for Staten Island Islander: STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. - Weeks of rumors that Katie Couric was leaving her post at CBS have finally come true. As we speculated, Katie isn’t running for President of The United States.  She is taking a senior position with our new

Conspiracy Closed: President Obama is not a Cyborg
04/27/2011
Conspiracy Closed: President Obama is not a Cyborg

Conspiracy Closed: President Obama is not a Cyborg

Conspiracy Closed: President Obama is not a Cyborg:
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. -In a rare appearance at The College of Staten Island, President Barack Obama was making xerox copies of his birth certificate and later presented it to the school newspaper.
“This has become a sideshow. I

Island's Italian Elite Give 'Mob Wives' Malocchio
04/22/2011
Island's Italian Elite Give 'Mob Wives' Malocchio

Island's Italian Elite Give 'Mob Wives' Malocchio

Island's Italian Elite Give 'Mob Wives' Malocchio:
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. -An important news conference was held this morning at the ex-Borough President’s office in Richmondtown just above Bagel Depot.
“I speak on behalf of elite Italian Americans everywhere: these shows are givin

Island Priest Admits Easter Jesus "Most Likely" a Zombie
04/21/2011
Island Priest Admits Easter Jesus "Most Likely" a Zombie

Island Priest Admits Easter Jesus "Most Likely" a Zombie


STATEN ISLAND — Fr. Sal Napolatini, pastor at the Church of St. Clare in Eltingville, shocked his congregants this week by breaking the silence on a Vatican secret kept under wraps for two millenia.
“Easter Jesus was most likely a zombie,” Fr. Napolatini told the Staten Island I

Arthur Treacher's All-You-Can-Eat Menu Tops Island Meals
04/14/2011
Arthur Treacher's All-You-Can-Eat Menu Tops Island Meals

Arthur Treacher's All-You-Can-Eat Menu Tops Island Meals

Arthur Treacher's All-You-Can-Eat Menu Tops Island Meals:
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. - In a rare and bold move, Arthur Treacher’s of Staten Island has announced a new menu option offering patrons an all-you-can-eat fish and chips buffet in honor of the “Dine Out Against Hunger” campaig

BREAKING NEWS ::: STATEN ISLAND – To celebrate the 20th...
04/13/2011
BREAKING NEWS ::: STATEN ISLAND – To celebrate the 20th...

BREAKING NEWS ::: STATEN ISLAND – To celebrate the 20th...

BREAKING NEWS ::: STATEN ISLAND – To celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Wu-Tang Clan’s appearance on New York City’s public access channel, Borough President James P. Molinaro will use his authority to pre-empt any and all television programming on Staten Island for the next 2

Lou Tobacco Body Slams Illegal Immigrants with Driver's Licences
04/13/2011
Lou Tobacco Body Slams Illegal Immigrants with Driver's Licences

Lou Tobacco Body Slams Illegal Immigrants with Driver's Licences

Lou Tobacco Body Slams Illegal Immigrants with Driver's Licences:
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. - Assemblyman Lou Tobacco(R) today announced his opposition to a new plan to give illegal immigrants driver’s licenses in New York State.
Here is the statement:
“On a post-9/11 Island in a post

Island Study Shows Booze and Drugs Lead To Sexual Intercourse
04/11/2011
Island Study Shows Booze and Drugs Lead To Sexual Intercourse

Island Study Shows Booze and Drugs Lead To Sexual Intercourse

Island Study Shows Booze and Drugs Lead To Sexual Intercourse:
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. - Shocking new news has emerged on drug and alcohol consumption that directly leads to sex. Island residents are in complete shock and denial that they are just like everyone else on planet Earth.

Charlie Sheen To Open Karate School On Staten Island, Challenges Master Kim to Nunchuk Battle
04/07/2011
Charlie Sheen To Open Karate School On Staten Island, Challenges Master Kim to Nunchuk Battle

Charlie Sheen To Open Karate School On Staten Island, Challenges Master Kim to Nunchuk Battle


DETROIT - Staten Islanders who travelled to Detroit to see America’s favorite badboy were surprised and delighted when he announced he would be opening a Karate school on New York’s forgotten fifth borough.
“I am sick and tired of the people of Staten Island getting kicked aroun

Missing Parakeet Sparks Major Controversy
04/07/2011
Missing Parakeet Sparks Major Controversy

Missing Parakeet Sparks Major Controversy


STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. - A heated legal battle between the Pet Palace and Pet-a-Believe-it has left Staten Islanders in shock today. The owners and employees have been arguing for weeks over stolen trade secrets and customers,  as well as a rare missing African parakeet named “John

PS 22 Nominatied for Best Hot Lunch and Best Chorus at MTV Awards
04/05/2011
PS 22 Nominatied for Best Hot Lunch and Best Chorus at MTV Awards

PS 22 Nominatied for Best Hot Lunch and Best Chorus at MTV Awards

PS 22 Nominatied for Best Hot Lunch and Best Chorus at MTV Awards:
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. - For the past year, the PS 22 Chorus has been racking up  awards and accolades from some of the biggest names in show business. MTV recently announced that the Chorus will be nominated for “B

Real Italians Complain That Jersey Shore is Too Stereotypical
04/05/2011
Real Italians Complain That Jersey Shore is Too Stereotypical

Real Italians Complain That Jersey Shore is Too Stereotypical

Real Italians Complain That Jersey Shore is Too Stereotypical:
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. - While the cast of Jersey Shore spray-tans in anticipation of their upcoming fourth season of partying and pepperoni in Italy - the people of Italy have already told them to stay home or else.
“Y

SI Advance Announces Honorary Dud Club
04/03/2011
SI Advance Announces Honorary Dud Club

SI Advance Announces Honorary Dud Club

SI Advance Announces Honorary Dud Club:
STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. - To mark the 39th anniversary, The Staten Island Advance inducted 10 employees in it’s prestigious 25 year-club. Members of the club were awarded with a Tiffany gold watch, a free lifetime subscription to the Advance,

Ferry Boat Comic Tickles Island Funny Bone
03/27/2011
Ferry Boat Comic Tickles Island Funny Bone

Ferry Boat Comic Tickles Island Funny Bone


STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. -For the third straight week “Missed the Boat” has trumped “Nancy” and “Wizard of ID” in combined viewership.
“The comic is great. It’s targeted content, the illustration work is incredible, and it’s something that Islanders just love.” said Brian J. Laline,

Island Dream of Formula One Racing Gets The Ugatz
03/24/2011
Island Dream of Formula One Racing Gets The Ugatz

Island Dream of Formula One Racing Gets The Ugatz

Island Dream of Formula One Racing Gets The Ugatz:
STATEN ISLAND, NY - Dreams of having Formula One racing on the Island have been slammed on the brakes due to a complete non-interest in car racing and anything that comes from Europe.
Mayor Mike Bloomberg has been an avid fan of

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