08/14/2025
BIL’s Córner
Untitled
When I’m holding back tears I’m trying to be strong ,
when they fall down my face I feel as cold as a storm it’s too late by then,
I’ve become a swarm,a swarm of thoughts, pictures, and endings of what I’ll be doing to end this
this pain, this misery, this feeling of regret, for not being able to be as strong as I remember, for falling and not being able to get back up again,
for me being too understanding, too considerate, for all your bu****it, all the s**t you said was me, makes me feel like dam did you ever feel me, listen, care
or did just see what you wanted and I know life’s not fair,
but I’m not looking for fair or even trying to achieve what everyone wants,
I just want to be free, free to be perfectly me but I can’t because I’m too beat down,
dying and coming back will certainly make you lose your crown, your spirit, your gift, the one thing that makes you, you,
was stolen because of the desperate energy you have, so desperate for the one thing you seem to can’t keep, your heart, their heart, it’s never in sync,
even though they make it rain, not with the things that ease your pain, that keeps the tears from falling, you scream, you shout, you realize no can hear you,
because you haven’t opened your mouth, why is no one is listening to your hearts desires but you, not matter how bad and loud she screams and shouts, to be loved , cared for, and listened to,
because who’s listening to a red heart turned blue,
so as these tears fall, streaming down my face like a flowing river to a beautiful unknown place,
is where I’ll be trying to save face, which is why the tears only flow when I’m alone because crying in a room full of people just lets me know how much people really don’t want you to grow, I’m alone and lonely, I believed I was only one, until I realized I was always only one.
BIL215
