The Plank

06/21/2022

Porch Pirate Rummy Richards Steals Nursing Bras

On March 31, 2022 at 3:28pm a porch pirate we're calling Rummy Richards stole two packages from the home of Phoenix resident Georgia near 27th Ave and Camelback Rd. The thief awkwardly tried to hide the package under his shirt. Do you have any information about this person? Contact the Phoe ...

03/31/2022

We posted earlier about a scurvy seadog we called Captain Rattlebones, who stole from a Phoenix, Arizona home in broad daylight.⁣
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Well, ol' Rattlebones struck yet another house, the home of Phoenix resident John near 7th St and Union Hills.⁣
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This theft took place March 6, 2022 at 10:02am.⁣
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Do you have any information about this person? Contact the Phoenix Police Department at 602-262-6151 re: case 2022-80001845.⁣
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More at theplank.org/ga8s

03/21/2022

We reported earlier on a porch pirate we called Silvertooth Sally who stole from a house near E Shangri La Rd & N 12th St in Phoenix.⁣ theplank.org/cbw3⁣
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Someone very closely resembling Silvertooth Sally was seen by Tempe, Arizona resident Brett rifling through his truck at his home near McClintock and Baseline. If this is the same person, and it looks like it is, she sure gets around.⁣⁣
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More at theplank.org/7l9y⁣⁣
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Please consider making a police report before you submit! This is another one of those cases where it could be really helpful if we had at least one police report number.

03/21/2022

On February 23 at 6:11pm, a porch pirate we're calling Sully Fishmaster walked through the front gate of the home of Phoenix, Arizona resident BG near 7th Ave and Indian School and stole a package from his doorstep.⁣⁣
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The theft took place in broad daylight while the victim's dogs were barking.⁣⁣
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The thief appeared to be a balding middle-aged man dressed in jeans and a bright orange hoodie.⁣⁣
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More at https://theplank.org/wjno

03/18/2022

On Valentines Day, February 14, 2022, at 3:30pm, a porch pirate we'll call Drake Deranged stole a package from the home of Phoenix, Arizona resident Natalie near Cave Creek & Union Hills.⁣
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The package contained bridesmaid dresses! Natalie says that he was casing the neighborhood beforehand. When he stole the box, he replaced it with a box of medical supplies.⁣
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We have a picture of the thief, who appears to be a white man with a beard in a Copper State Brewing Co. t-shirt, sporting a beard, aviator sunglasses, and a backwards cap, as well as some red shoes.⁣
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Do you have any information about this theft? Call Phoenix Police Department 602-262-6151 Reference Incident/Case #: 2022-251545.⁣
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More at https://theplank.org/robr

03/11/2022

We know two things about the man in this video:⁣
1. He likes red.⁣
2. He's a dirty rotten thief.⁣
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On November 3, 2021, a Porch Pirate we're calling Captain Rattlebones stole a package from the porch of Phoenix, Arizona resident LeAnne near 12th St and Union Hills.⁣
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The thief then trotted to his red sedan in his red shoes and drove off, accompanied by two accomplices. Do they get names, too? I don't know, Curly and Moe.⁣
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More at theplank.org/02o0

03/01/2022

Another gross and obnoxious crime effecting our neighborhoods. All three men were arrested for armed robbery!

Three men were arrested following a catalytic converter theft spree.

02/27/2022

On February 15 at 5:06pm, a sticky-fingered porch pirate we're calling “Silvertooth Sally” stole a UPS package from the home of Phoenix resident Rhonda near E Shangri La Rd & N 12th St.

Rhonda thinks that Silvertooth Sally was following the delivery truck! Look out for this person in your neighborhood, especially if you live in the North Mountain area.

More at https://theplank.org/cbw3

02/23/2022

On February 16, 2022 at approximately 7:02pm, a man with a backpack we're calling David Death was seen rolling up to the porch of Phoenix, AZ resident Alexander near 35th Ave and Cactus.

The man is seen barely on camera fooling around with something on the porch.

When Alexander went to retrieve his packages, they were gone!

More at https://theplank.org/2zow

01/31/2022

On January 18 at 10:40pm, 2022, a porch pirate we'll call “Shark-Fin Suzie” stole Amazon packages from the front porch of reader Nicole's house with a fenced-in yard near N 25th Pl & Thomas Rd in Phoenix, Arizona. On January 26 at 6:00am, 2022, she came back for more!

The thief is a slender, dark-skinned young woman who appears to have braids. In one of the videos, she appears to be wearing a blue crop top sweatsuit and sneakers that are white with red and black accents. In the other, she appears to be wearing a black zip-up sweatshirt, a short grey skirt, and tan heels.

Do you have any information about this theft? Call Phoenix Police Department 602-262-6151 Reference Incident/Case #: T22000935.

Read more at https://theplank.org/4yoo

01/21/2022

On January 13, 2022, at 5:00pm, a porch pirate who we're calling “Ol’ Scurvyshorts Richards” stole a package from reader Robert's home near W Elliot Rd and N Alma School Rd in Chandler, Arizona.

It's hard to tell what the thief looks like because he's facing away from the camera the whole video, but he appears to be a black man wearing a baseball cap with a white bill under his large white hoodie, along with blue jeans.

The thief shoved the contents down his pants, and apparently it was Chapstick, so…have fun with that, guy? He took Chapstick but left his bottle allegedly containing lean and soda. For those of you who don't know what lean is, it's basically cough syrup or a concoction containing it, which some people abuse for its intoxicating effects.

More at https://theplank.org/sfw7

01/14/2022

On December 23 at 1:46pm, a porch pirate who we're calling “Red Legs Clark” stole a package from reader Amy's house near Chandler and McQueen in Chandler, AZ.

We're told that the package was stolen just three minutes after delivery!

The thief appears to be a tall and skinny man wearing a black long-sleeved t-shirt, black pants, a red and black snapback hat, white sneakers, and a surgical mask.

Do you have any information about this theft? A police report has been filed and the report number is 21-139714. Please call the Chandler Police Department at 480-782-4130 with any information about this case, making sure to reference this case number.

More at https://theplank.org/j0tc

01/14/2022

On December 22 at 12:00am, a thief who we will call “L***r Larry Staples” was caught on video unplugging reader Laura's Christmas lights and stealing a Snoopy-themed Christmas display.

The thief appeared to be a heavyset bearded man wearing sweatpants with pinstripes, white sneakers, and an open zip-up hoodie with a large text logo on the left arm.

Laura says that she was devastated by this theft, and indeed, what kind of Grinch steals someone's Christmas cheer?

More at https://theplank.org/o76r

01/07/2022

On December 20 at 3:45pm, a porch pirate who we will call “Jack Fishfood” stole packages from a house near Cooper and Ray in Gilbert. The criminal was in a silver Honda sedan.

The thief appeared to have short, dark hair and a beard and was wearing a black hoodie. More at https://theplank.org/64qy

01/06/2022

On December 2, 2021 7:39pm, a scoundrel we will call “One Tooth O’Doule” stole two packages from reader Emily's house near N 43rd Ave and Glendale Ave in Phoenix.

This porch pirate was wearing sneakers, dark pants, an oversized Lee shirt, and a backpack.

The crazy thing: Emily tells us he actually opened the packages in her next-door neighbors' yard and left the packing materials strewn everywhere.

We're told he's been seen since, but don't have additional details on that yet. What we do have is a police report incident number!

Do you have any information about this theft? Please contact the Phoenix Police Department – Cactus Park Precinct at 602-262-6151 and use incident number 2021-80008365.

More at https://theplank.org/2022/01/05/porch-pirate-one-tooth-odoule-steals-and-opens-two-packages-in-phoenix-neighborhood/

01/04/2022

At 2:08pm on December 18, 2021, another Peoria family near 75th Ave and Greenway was hit by the porch pirate who we've come to know as “Craterface Threefingers.” More info at theplank.org/zks3

01/03/2022

On December 19, 2021, at 10:21am, a porch pirate stole roughly $200 worth of packages from reader Emma’s home near Rural and Baseline in Tempe, Arizona.

Emma has dubbed the purple-haired thief—dressed in patterned leggings and a flannel shirt—”Purple Polly.” Far from wanting just a cracker, this Polly apparently also feels entitled to all of your possessions.

Do you have any information about this theft? This theft has been reported to the Tempe Police Department. Please call them at non-emergency number 480-350-8311 with any information about this theft, and reference case T21005893.

More at https://theplank.org/2022/01/03/porch-pirate-purple-polly-steals-hundreds-in-packages-from-tempe-home/

01/01/2022

On December 14, 2021 at 1:03pm Porch Pirate Carol the Cannon Ford stole a package from reader Dana’s home near Tanglewood Dr and Lakewood Blvd in Ahwatukee, Phoenix, Arizona.

Dana writes, “This porch pirate luckily only got away with a box of fake snowballs. But she’s been seen a few times in the Ahwatukee area. She seems to work alone and follows the delivery trucks.”

The thief appeared to be a woman wearing a hair wrap, slim light blue jeans and a white graphic t-shirt.

We got a police report number for this one!

Do you have any information about this theft? First, please call the Phoenix Police Department at non-emergency number 602-262-6151 and reference incident 2021-1942855.

More at https://theplank.org/2021/12/31/porch-pirate-carol-the-cannon-ford-steals-toys-from-ahwatukee-home/