07/02/2025
Sometimes our work chooses us. In 2009, both my father and husband passed away a day apart from one another. At the time, I was in graduate school on the path to becoming a psychologist, and little did I know that my life would provide the best training ground needed to serve others. It's been 16 years since this past weekend (June 28 & 29, 2009) that my husband and father passed away. 16 years is a long time. It's almost a lifetime, and I feel it when I realize that many of my current friends and community never knew either man.
I still feel them around me. Maybe a little less intensely than I once did, I feel their presence in much of what I do, especially the Death Comadre Curriculum. This past Saturday, we completed our first virtual training of the curriculum. As I cared for the altar, I was closing out the session, and just before the candle that I had lit went out by itself. I acknowledged it and said aloud, "Hmmm, the candle just went out," while I gave a knowing nod. Because my father, my family, and many other people taught me how to interpret these signs and the ways that our ancestors communicate with us.
Now, 16 years later, having built and created a Death Comadre Curriculum for and with the Cihuapactli Collective, there are many full-circle moments in this work. I feel grateful and honored to be able to do this work in the community, and more than anything, I feel elated that so many people are responsive to this content and that the Cihuapactli Collective can continue to respond to the calls of the community.
If you are interested in learning more about how different people within the Collective have navigated their experiences with grief and loss, and if you are interested in serving the community as a Death Comadre, please consider taking this course. In many ways, this work has likely already chosen you, too. Life probably has lessons to teach you about the ways that end-of-life transitions can be both beautiful and sacred, and for some, the business of death might be a place where you are comfortable.
