Vanessa Torre

08/15/2023

Just when we thought we were seeing the end of “girl boss” and “boss babe…”

The 26-year-old influencer who coined the term “lazy-girl jobs” insists she meant no harm and that the term is connected to the idea of feeling so at ease with your job that you almost felt like you’re being lazy.

Consider the actual statement being made here. It’s beyond the idea that work as a soul-crushing endeavor has been normalized. Is it that far-fetched an idea to acknowledge that employees are tired of doing the work of multiple people for the same pay in offices that the pandemic showed us are obsolete?

And why is it only when we connect this to women that we assign the term lazy? The only thing that connects “lazy” and “boys” is recliners.

The reality is that women are so steeped in shame and guilt culture that we have to come up with a term for how we feel when we are not working ourselves to the point of mental and emotional exhaustion.

Be careful the term you coin. It may stick and then we’re all stuck.

08/09/2023

What am I going to miss about Phoenix? Amazing friend? Yes. Of course. But, the sadness I feel having to leave the chicken and mozzarella sandwich with a crisp gall of white wine for lunch at Postino is making much soul HURT.

I have told staff here a dozen times that they either need to open one of these in the Bay Area, give me the recipe for the tomato aioli, or sell me a small vat of it. There are other options for me. This is it.

Postino, I love you with all my heart. I have 62 days left here before I head on my next adventure. Can we spend as many of them together as possible?

If you left your hometown, what restaurant would you miss the most?

07/14/2023

On October 3rd of last year I was diagnosed with ADHD. At age 48. What the actual hell!?! On October 6th, I took medication for it for the first time. I had every feeling you could imagine. It was the whole cycle of grief in just a few days.

On October 10th, I met Jason. I was not planning that. He has never known and undiagnosed me. He has never known an unmedicated me. There are times I struggle and times I am embarrassed by my Dory brain.

Then he does this. I simply told him to remind me that I need to make sure I call for her birthday. This is how he cares for me. It seems low hanging fruit. To me, it speaks volumes.

We all deserve people to care for us without shame being involved. We are all worthy.

07/08/2023

Your guide to summer travel and my anxiety!

We embarked on an 11-hour drive this week to spend a few weeks in the Bay Area with my boyfriend, Jason. I brought three boxes with me for my move because my anxiety wakes me up in a panic that my whole life will die in a Uhaul save for three boxes. I’m weird. It’s cool.

Here’s some travel tips I can pass on from the experience:

1️⃣ Traveling with a cat is dicey. I recommend CBD treats and letting her pass out. However, my as***le cat chose my lap for that nap location. I drove four hours like that.

2️⃣ Give CBD treats to the dog so she can get over the fact that the cat’s in your lap. Also, don’t @ me friends. That was a long ass drive. The time my slightly feral cat can stay in a carrier is 4 minutes. That’s why we give her drugs. 🤣

3️⃣ Every time you stop, p*e. I do not care if you have to or not. Just do it.

I’m also totally outing myself that I stole cup when I housesat. I’ll bring it back! Promise!

07/03/2023

Let me tell you, I have loved living downtown. I love staring out my window and seeing buildings, and having some of the best restaurants within walking distance to me.

I moved down here because I felt a little isolated out in suburbia, and I needed a change of scenery. Interestingly, I have found that I feel more isolated, living downtown than I did in suburbia. It’s weird to explain.

Weekend before last I got to take a little staycation and dog and housesit for one of my best friends out in Verrado. I cannot tell you how calm and chill I felt. There was some things strangely quieting about it, that I am not used to, with the hustle and bustle of downtown.

When I started my previous career two decades ago, I worked for the company that built Verrado. It was amazing to wander around and see the place being live exactly how we imagined it.

I also realized that I have an amazing small town calling. There are some changes ahead….

07/01/2023

LADIES. This is BIG. I spent a month knee-deep in this and I am thrilled (and way overly emotional) about what we're going to dive into this month. We're wrapping our brains around our body issues.
We're making huge changes ladies. Huge. Join me for a solid month of body image work that is focused on:

* Diving deep into what shaped our body image issues, how they affect us, and how we can change that.
* Evaluating our relationship with food and eating so we see food as our dear friend, not enemy.
* Discovering new joy in moving our bodies not because we want to change them but because we love them.
* Make lasting changes that lead to the best things for our midlife selves: love, confidence, and contentment.

It won't be easy but I'll be there every step of the way.

I have put together an IN-DEPTH month of coaching that you can access on three different levels (FREE, $7/month, and $27/month) with a custom portal at the $7 and $27 levels. Here's all the tools we'll use to get there:

* Self-care tips, articles, and education to help you understand and love midlife body
* Topic-focused coaching lessons dropped every Monday with exercises that WORK
* Weekly journal prompts for reflection and to remove mindset obstacles
* Easy to access custom coaching portal to keep track of all your materials
* Twice monthly group coaching calls and Ask the Expert Q&As
* Weekly free “office hours” with me to get extra help and on-the-spot coaching
* Reading prompts and FB live for our group read: The Body Is Not an Apology
* Facebook community group for help, coaching, education, and support from other badass women

For real, this like over $400 worth of coaching for less than what you'd spend at Starbucks... Click below to get all the details on the program. Questions? Drop 'em in the comments! https://www.vanessatorre.com/maximizing-midlife

05/22/2023

Sure, it seems like we’re making sure things get done by assigning things to other people in our house. It’s delegation, right? It’s removing things off our plate so we don’t have to do it all, right? Lean in here. Close.

If you are the one that makes and manages the household to-do list and assigns your partners tasks, even if they willingly do half of them and actually complete them, you are not equal partners. You are still doing more. https://zurl.co/1LnN

If we got paid for this work, we wouldn't want to work here.

05/21/2023

We're gonna need you to put the Swiffer down, ma'am. https://zurl.co/AlCZ

05/11/2023

"I have lived most of my time on Earth with the idea that my entire life happens within about a 50-mile radius of me. It’s like weird object permanence. If it’s outside of the bubble, it simply doesn’t exist."

Let’s stop thinking life only happens right in front of us.

05/02/2023

I just celebrated my one year anniversary of living downtown and I have to say that I am absolutely embarrassed about the fact that I moved to a place where I could walk to maybe three dozen restaurants and guess what? I don’t.

What the heck is wrong with me? So, I am committing that I am going to make up for lost time and try to hit a new restaurant one day a week.

If you’re in the Phoenix area, and a Downtown restaurant recommendation, hit me up! I wanna know about it!

05/01/2023

The greatest injustice we face as we get older is that we somehow become more invisible to the world the older we get. We simply cease to exist, and if we do, we are depicted in the manner of the stupid-ass walking program.

We’re not just imagining it. We don’t exist. But, I have receipts.

04/20/2023

Is it just me, or do most women come to a point in midlife where things just feel...off? Like, what IS this feeling? It's not just me? Cool.

Good news! I have an amazing tool to help figure out what might be making you feel a little...meh. You know, find out what's missing.

I have an assessment that will help.

This assessment dives into multiple aspects of your life to laser focus on what might be tripping you up in midlife.

Uncover what’s not settled in your soul. Then, let’s settle it. Link in my linktree and right here: www.vanessatorre.com

04/19/2023

I HATE pictures of myself. Loathe. I hate taking them. I hate being in them. I hate looking at them. I do not know what to do with myself. How do I stand? Do I smile? Do I laugh? Someone help...

The first round of photos I had on my website did not look like me. It was weird. It was me trying to be someone who would have a website. Well, s**t. I have a website. That's enough, right?

So I got some great help from and to have some pictures done that actually look like me. And my pooch Pippa stole the show if you hadn't noticed.

I just decided to be me. Wear what I wear and do Vanessa things. In and around my home. Like swinging in a hammock, like a dork. We nailed it. What do you think? How do you survive having your picture taken?

Feel free to head over to www.vanessatorre.com to check out the website!

04/10/2023

If you have to work on a Sunday, at least find yourself a place to work where you can have a mimosa, too!

Let me tell you, friends, this is really fun work. I have been working on the most amazing thing for all of my midlife women. I worked today to put the finishing touches on it and it’s going to launch first thing in the morning and you don’t wanna miss it.

Big announcement tomorrow with all of the details and I can’t wait to share it with you!

If you’re struggling right now, feeling like everything seems off in midlife, you are not alone. There are so many that are there with you! Check out the link in my bio for an assessment to figure out exactly what’s making you feel…meh.

03/27/2023

I would like to speak to the manager of menopause, please?

It was brought to my attention recently that when I sleep, there are times that I become so hot and sweaty that my side of the bed has its own weather, and that weather could be described with words one might generally use in connection with the Everglades. Like, swampy. I am swampy.

Clearly, this occurrence has nothing to do with anything sexy happening in my bed. This was just a normal Monday night in January when most people are cuddled up under blankets.

Me? I’m over here generating enough heat that I could be used as a human hibachi. If you stuck a piece of uncooked meat on me, it wouldn’t stay uncooked for long. I’m considering changing my name to Vanihana.

Read all about this concerning adventure on Medium. Link is in the bio and stories!

03/15/2023

Things for which I am grateful today:

#1 - I have gotten this airport down so pat that I can leave my house at 5am for 6:30 flight, check my bag at the curb, order a coffee from an app on my phone while standing in the security line, swing by and grab it real quick while going to the gate of which I know the exact location and still have an hour before wheels up. Next level, travel.

# 2 - My new cute hat came right in time and it’s a total airport vibe.

# 3 - In that green box in my laptop bag? The workings of a manuscript. Oh. My. God.

# 4 - I will not have a problem reading my book because my purse, which also big enough to hold my displaced laptop, is carrying four pairs of reading glasses.

This is my fourth time in three and a half months making this trip. Life is funny. Love is funny. He’s worth lugging all this crap around an airport. Worth it ten times over.

03/15/2023

I have such a love-hate relationship with the phrase, “you look good for your age.” It seems like a compliment, but when it’s said to anybody that holds any midlife space, it kind of begs the question, “Well, what did you expect somebody my age would look like?”

I don’t know about you, but I feel like all of the midlife. Women are just out here trying to age in a way that makes us feel comfortable. Forget any other adjective that we want to apply to aging. Can we just all spend some time focusing on comfortable?

What is aging approach comfortably look like to you? I will tell you one thing, aging gracefully, for me, means buying jeans and bras that fit properly. We deserve this at this point in our lives, friends. What’s on your list?

READ THE FULL ESSAY ON MEDIUM! Link in my bio!

03/10/2023

Rapid fire questions I am asking myself for your entertainment: Has it been a long week? Yes. Have I celebrated my birthday yet? No. Did I just order a glass of wine and a plate of fried chicken skins (with navel orange, lavender, and clover honey)? The f**k I did. Is there any chicken with it? Hell no.

This is it, folks. Is this my best life or does it require an intervention? Please don’t intervene. Leave me, these skins, and my arteries be. We are happy. And greasy.