05/05/2026
🐊🦈 DOUBLE CREATURE FEATURE REVIEW 🦈🐊
Under Paris (2024) + Crawl (2019)
“One city flooded with sharks. One house flooded with gators. Absolute apex predator chaos.”
Tonight’s Creature Feature Doubleheader takes us from:
* shark-infested Paris catastrophe
to
* hurricane-flooded Florida gator nightmare.
One movie gave us:
Lilith the shark.
The other gave us:
the greatest gas station alligator scene of all time.
So naturally… we had to review both. 😄
⸻
🦈 UNDER PARIS (2024)
Platform: Netflix
Release Date: June 5, 2024
Genre: Survival Thriller / Creature Feature / Disaster Horror
Director: Xavier Gens
⸻
🎬 Content & Context
Under Paris arrived on Netflix looking like it was going to be:
“Jaws… but French.”
Which honestly could have gone very wrong very quickly. Instead, what we got was a wildly entertaining, occasionally ridiculous, surprisingly tense shark-disaster movie that fully embraces:
* giant apex predator chaos
* flooded Paris catastrophe energy
* environmental horror
* and one extremely determined shark named Lilith 🦈
The film stars:
* Bérénice Bejo as Sophia, a marine biologist carrying trauma from an earlier shark expedition disaster
* Nassim Lyes as police diver Adil
* Léa Léviant as Mika, the overenthusiastic activist teenager who basically runs into danger headfirst because horror movies demand sacrifices
The premise itself is wonderfully absurd:
a giant shark somehow ends up in the Seine River beneath Paris just as the city prepares for a massive international triathlon event.
And honestly?
That’s enough. We’re in.
⸻
🧩 Plot Overview
After a tragic expedition leaves Sophia emotionally wrecked, she’s pulled back into shark research when evidence emerges that a surviving mako shark, nicknamed Lilith, is somehow adapting to freshwater conditions beneath Paris.
Naturally, city officials:
* ignore warnings
* prioritize optics
* underestimate the danger
* and continue preparing for a giant swimming event anyway.
Because if there is one universal horror law, it is:
bureaucrats LOVE a preventable catastrophe.
As floodwaters rise and bodies start stacking up, Paris slowly transforms into:
* submerged panic
* sewer nightmares
* shark-infested urban chaos
And once the movie commits to destruction mode?
It REALLY commits.
⸻
🐐 The Review
This movie works because it understands exactly what it is.
It is not trying to be:
* elevated horror
* philosophical cinema
* prestige drama
It is trying to deliver:
“what if Paris became shark soup?”
Mission accomplished.
The first half takes a little time setting things up:
* environmental themes
* grief
* activism
* marine biology exposition
…but once Lilith starts turning the Seine into a floating crime scene, the movie wakes all the way up.
The shark attacks are:
* aggressive
* chaotic
* surprisingly mean at times
* and occasionally hilarious in the best creature-feature way.
Lilith herself becomes a genuinely memorable horror villain because the movie treats her almost like:
an unstoppable mythological force.
By the final act, Under Paris basically evolves into:
disaster movie + creature feature + flooded apocalypse.
And honestly?
That escalation is what saves the movie from being forgettable.
Does all of it make sense?
Absolutely not.
Do sharks belong there?
No.
Would Paris probably shut everything down much sooner?
Of course.
Did I still have fun watching it?
Absolutely.
There’s a specific kind of joy that comes from movies willing to say:
“logic is drowning; release the shark.”
And Under Paris fully understands that assignment.
⸻
🎯 Bottom Line
Under Paris is messy, ridiculous, occasionally very dumb, and genuinely entertaining.
If you enjoy:
* creature features
* disaster escalation
* shark chaos
* “people making terrible decisions under pressure”
* giant aquatic murder machines
…then this is absolutely worth your time.
Lilith earns her spot in the creature-feature hall of fame.
⸻
🐐 GOAT Rating
⭐ 3.5 GOATS
⸻
🐐 GOAT Breakdown
🦈 Shark Chaos: 4.5 GOATS
🌊 Disaster Escalation: 4 GOATS
🧠 Logic & Realism: 1.5 GOATS
🔁 Rewatch Value: 🐐🐐🐐
🙄 Character Decisions: “Please stop swimming toward danger.”
😱 Tension: 3.5 GOATS
👑 Lilith the Shark: 5 GOATS
🏙️ Paris Flood Panic: 4 GOATS
💥 Ending Ex*****on: 3 GOATS
🚨 Random Citywide Shark Catastrophe Energy: 🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐
⸻
🧾 Final Word
“Under Paris is what happens when a shark movie stops asking permission and starts flooding landmarks.”
And honestly?
Lilith understood the assignment. 🦈
CRAWL (2019)
Platform: Pluto TV / Streaming Rental Platforms
Release Date: July 12, 2019
Genre: Survival Horror / Creature Feature / Disaster Thriller
Director: Alexandre Aja
Produced By: Sam Raimi
⸻
🎬 Content & Context
Crawl is what happens when:
* hurricane horror
* survival thriller
* apex predator chaos
* and full swamp nightmare energy
all get locked in a flooded Florida house together.
Produced by Sam Raimi and directed by Alexandre Aja, Crawl feels like the perfect collision between:
* Raimi’s chaotic “throw the audience into danger and hang on” style
* and Aja’s brutal, claustrophobic survival-horror energy.
You can feel BOTH of them all over this movie.
The Raimi influence shows up in:
* the tension roller coaster
* background visual chaos
* perfectly timed jump scares
* and moments that somehow become funny and terrifying at the same time.
Meanwhile, Aja brings:
* grime
* panic
* gore
* claustrophobia
* and full “the environment itself wants you dead” energy.
And honestly?
It works ridiculously well.
⸻
🧩 Plot Overview
When a massive hurricane slams into Florida, collegiate swimmer Haley ignores evacuation orders to search for her estranged father at their old family home.
Bad idea.
Because:
* the house is flooding
* the crawlspace is collapsing
* and gigantic alligators have decided this is now THEIR property.
After discovering her injured father trapped beneath the house, Haley finds herself fighting:
* rising floodwaters
* structural collapse
* infection
* exhaustion
* and multiple apex predators that absolutely refuse to mind their business.
And once the movie starts escalating?
It barely lets you breathe.
⸻
🐐 The Review
This movie RULES.
Not in a:
“prestige cinema masterpiece”
way.
In a:
“this is exactly what creature-feature survival horror should be”
way.
The pacing is incredibly tight.
There’s very little wasted runtime.
The movie immediately traps you in the nightmare and just keeps tightening the pressure.
The alligators themselves are fantastic:
* fast
* violent
* sneaky
* relentless
And the film smartly uses:
* murky floodwater
* tight spaces
* reflections
* sudden movement
* background chaos
to constantly create tension.
The gas station scene alone deserves creature-feature hall of fame status.
A man casually wandering around grabbing:
* random supplies
* suspicious raw hot dogs
* and apparently making the worst survival-food choices imaginable
…while an alligator buffet unfolds in the background?
Absolute cinema. 🌭🐊
The movie also benefits from Haley being a surprisingly capable protagonist.
She makes enough smart decisions that you actually root for her instead of screaming:
“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?”
for ninety straight minutes.
And visually?
The movie looks GREAT:
* fluorescent algae tunnels
* hurricane flooding
* underwater POV shots
* rain-soaked panic
* floating debris
* giant gators materializing from sludge darkness
It all works.
Most importantly:
Crawl understands tension.
The movie constantly reminds you:
the water is NEVER safe.
Not the crawlspace.
Not the basement.
Not the road.
Not the boat.
Not the gas station.
Not the pipes.
If there’s water?
There’s probably a gator in it.
⸻
🎯 Bottom Line
Crawl is one of the best modern creature features because it fully commits to:
* survival tension
* practical pacing
* fun horror escalation
* and giant alligator nightmare fuel.
It’s lean, efficient, rewatchable, and wildly entertaining.
And somehow it made:
convenience-store hot dogs
feel emotionally dangerous.
That deserves respect.
⸻
🐐 GOAT Rating
⭐ 4 GOATS
⸻
🐐 GOAT Breakdown
🐊 Alligator Chaos: 5 GOATS
🌪️ Hurricane Atmosphere: 4.5 GOATS
😱 Tension & Jump Scares: 4.5 GOATS
🧠 Survival Logic: 4 GOATS
🌊 Murky Water Terror: 5 GOATS
🌭 Gas Station Scene: LEGENDARY
🏚️ Claustrophobic Crawlspace Horror: 4.5 GOATS
🎬 Pacing: 5 GOATS
🩸 Creature Feature Fun: 4.5 GOATS
👀 Background Gator Shenanigans: Elite
⸻
🧾 Final Word
“Crawl takes one flooded house, several giant alligators, and a hurricane… then somehow turns all of it into a ridiculously effective survival thriller.”
Produced with full Sam Raimi chaos energy and Alexandre Aja swamp-nightmare brutality, Crawl understands one very important rule:
if there’s water, there’s probably a gator in it. 🌭🐊
