03/12/2026
To whoever left that Amazon package sitting on the front porch, I hope you realize your stupid little trap just ruined my entire car. I was walking past this house, saw the box sitting right by the front door, and figured nobody was around so I grabbed it and tossed it in the back seat. It looked like a normal delivery box. I didn’t even open it, I just drove off.
The second I made a turn the thing tipped over and the entire back seat exploded with the nastiest expired milk I’ve ever smelled in my life. It soaked into the seats, the floor, everything. There’s milk dripping out of the door frame, my shoes are covered in it, and the jug is just rolling around back there like someone filled the box on purpose.
So congratulations to whichever psycho thought it would be funny to leave a bait package full of rotten milk on their front porch. My car smells like death now and I’m so pi**ed I’m actually thinking about calling the cops over this because that’s straight up vandalism. I don’t even care that it wasn’t my package. You don’t set traps like that and just expect nothing to happen.
