It Started With Emily Doe

09/28/2025

So I’ve decided to make a substack. I’ve been trying to get back into YouTube and podcasting to share personal anecdotes and talk about being a survivor, my art, my music, and just so many different things but as a new mom, finding the time to record has been pretty scarce and is being used to make music. So I figured, why not make a substack. I can write anytime, anywhere.

Most of it is behind a paywall, but I’m trying to make it affordable and your first month will be free. The only reasons I’m putting it behind a paywall is because

1. I will be sharing some deeply personal stuff at times

2. I will be sharing music related stuff before things are fully released

3. Money’s always tight and while I’m trying to make this more professional and less just like my random thoughts shared on this page and that includes me doing research and utilizing my past research and knowledge. It’s labor.

So if you feel so inclined, please view my first post. It’s free and goes in depth about what I’ll be posting (like weekly essays about topics I’m passionate and knowledgeable in, personal stories, modeling things, music things, and art things)

Where my personal journal meets public survival

07/25/2025

You know what they say: the body keeps the score. There have been several moments where I realize I’m having a particularly rough mental health day or feel sick for no reason only to realize it’s a trauma-versary. On those days, and always, be gentle with yourself ♥️

05/12/2025

04/03/2025

In case you didn’t know, I’m on tumblr now too. I know this dudes original post is from like 2 years ago but everything I’ve said still rings true. Please read and feel free to leave your thoughts!

Maybe I shouldn’t have reblogged this but I can’t just see things like this and stay silent. I know my words will never reach this m*n but they might reach someone. They might comfort a survivor who hasn’t come forward or is on the fence about it, or a survivor who wasn’t believed. I study and memorize these statistics to spread awareness, to try and make people understand.

So many “anti-woke” people who want to victim blame and ignore the real struggles of survivors, who want to pardon actual ab*sers and r*pists, often bring up false allegations as a way to distract us from seeking justice and reform within our justice system. And I will never pass up an opportunity to share the actual facts and statistics with them, whether they listen to me or not.

If you are a survivor who wasn’t believed or who made the brave choice to go to law enforcement and were met with skepticism, blame, and more trauma: I am with you and I believe you.

03/28/2025

Who can relate to this?

03/19/2025

Not sure everyone over here know this, but I’m pregnant. As I get further along in this pregnancy, the more I think about how I will be as a parent and who my child will grow up to be.

I’m having a daughter. Which is a fact that both excites and terrifies me. On one hand, I am very excited to raise a little girl who is a fighter like me. I’m excited to raise her always knowing of her worth and her power. I’m excited to see who she becomes. But also as someone who was victimized from a young age, I’m terrified of what could happen to her in this world. I’m very well aware of the fact that I could teach her everything to watch out for, to come to me no matter how big or small the problem or concern is, I can be hyper-vigilant, and i can still fail. She could still be hurt and traumatized. Also hyper-vigilance is a doublee edged sword. I don’t want to stop her from enjoying her childhood or living life because I’m scared. And I don’t want her to be scared because of me either.

All of these thoughts and feelings are valid and because of that, I’m being proactive. I am in therapy to discuss these things, to show up as healed as I can so I can give her the best childhood and life I can. I also know that her having me as her mother is a blessing because god forbid the worst happens, I know how to respond and I know how to act to protect her before and after anything were to happen. I also have the best partner I could imagine for raising a strong, brave, and loving daughter who will come to either of us if anything is wrong.

All of this is to say, I can’t wait to meet my little girl and I hope that I can keep breaking these generational curses and be the mom not only that I needed, but the mom I know my daughter needs. Whatever that may fully look like.

I read somewhere that strong, powerful women are given daughters so we can help raise the next generation. So that the world can become better. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m so excited to meet her 💕

03/12/2025

03/12/2025