09/17/2026
she said yes. 🥰
I’ve had several people ask me: now that we’re getting married, who’s moving where (Scarlett is in Detroit, I’m in Raleigh, nobody can move bc of children and shared custody)?
And the answer is, nobody’s moving anywhere! This has been the unsolvable problem we’ve wrestled with since we first (foolishly?) fell in love. We have shed many tears over it, processed it through a few mushroom trips, and broke up several times only to get back together. The first few break ups were early—we had first started talking and were both quickly struck by the power of the connection, but it scared us—because we shouldn’t fall for someone who lives hundreds of miles away when relocating is not an option, right? Ending this before it starts is the sensible thing, surely! Well, we tried. Turns out, it’s not so easy to break up with someone when all you want is to be with them.
Throughout our relationship, we’ve struggled to fully bite down and commit to this decade span of time that stands between us and a shared bedroom. When we discussed marriage, it felt almost cruel, insulting, to imagine getting married and then heading back to our respective states. It’s not what we want—what we very much want is to build a shared life. This year, the instability of our situation came to a head, with the first break up that felt real. During that time, it became clear for both of us that while we would love all the trappings of an ordinary marriage, what we wanted more than any of that was the friendship we had found in each other. As much as I’d like to spoon every single night, what I actually can’t live without is my favorite conversation partner and the lifelong conversation we get to have together. We are getting married, not because we figured out how to change our daunting logistics, but because we are accepting them as a worthy price to pay for a soul mate.
So cheers babe—there’s nobody I’d rather suffer through the next decade with than you. 💞 ILY