Survivor Soulrific - The "Gina" Effect

05/24/2025

The Narcissist Is Breaking Down Everyday Because Of You—Here’s What You Did

See, their whole identity was stitched together by outside opinions. Strip that away, and they’re just a hollow shell in expensive skin, empty, agitated, tortured by the demons they tried to bury under fake smiles and flexed confidence. The craziest part? Most people still think they move on quick, that they forget and float off into the sunset like nothing happened. Nah, that’s the illusion, the facade—a smoke-and-mirror show meant to make you feel replaceable. But deep down, they’re restless, pacing, agitated. No amount of new faces can fill the void you left. They’re not moving on; they’re breaking down in silence.

You become the one thing they can’t handle—a ghost with power. Because when you stop feeding the fire, it dies, and that is unbearable for the narcissist. What they don’t expect, what rattles them to the core, is silence, distance, indifference—you not playing the game. They need your reaction like a vampire needs blood. Anger? Delicious. Sadness? Even better. You reaching out to defend yourself? That’s pure narc fuel.

But here’s where it gets good: the truth is, they project like crazy. They’ll call you unstable because they feel unhinged. They’ll say you were never enough, because deep down they never felt worthy of anyone. They’ll accuse you of doing the very things they’re guilty of. It’s classic narcissist playbook—page one, line one. They’ll fit the script, paint you as the villain, twist every detail, every memory, every truth into a lie they can weaponize—not because you were ever the problem, but because they can’t stand their reflection in the mirror when you’re no longer under their spell.

So what do they do? The narcissist can’t handle losing the narrative. So when you walk away, when you stop responding, when you start healing, that’s a threat—a real one, not to their heart—they never gave you that—but to their image, their illusion, their fake little empire built on control and performance.

Now, let’s make one thing clear: those lies they spread, the trash they throw on your name, that’s not about you. That’s damage control for them. It’s their last-ditch attempt to stitch up a crumbling ego that’s leaking insecurity all over the floor. Cue the smear campaign. And when the narcissist realizes they can’t control you anymore, can’t get inside your head, can’t yank your strings like they used to, that’s when they go nuclear. And that right there? That’s the punch they never saw coming.

Karen Shoop, Doctorate Psychology & Narcissists, Harvard University (2006), Posted April 24, 2025

05/17/2025

Today, I am contemplating and appreciating my delivery out of and freedom from an 11 year relationship and marriage to a malignant narcissist.

I remember my first attempt (took me three tries) to escape the abuse and how deeply my Christian beliefs affected my ability to get out and stay out. While my head was screaming that everything he inflicted upon me was neither justified nor warranted, my heart was telling me "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health". I also very vividly, even now after 3 years, remember how panic stricken I felt at the thought of "losing him and my marriage" and how much I "loved him". I remember those feelings to my core, but now, with ABSOLUTE certainty, know that what I was feeling was the years of lies, betrayal, and gaslighting and that I hadn't loved him at all by that point (March 2022) after years and years of his abuse (lying, cheating, physical and emotional manipulation and violence, and financial exploitation and theft). I have gone on several dates over the last couple of years, but at the end of the day, I feel absolute bliss that now I come and go as I please and I am enjoying being single.

Marriage to the malignant parasite translated into NEVER being ALLOWED to enjoy my home, my garden, my hobbies, or my friends. And while he accused me of dictating who were his friends, my insecurity surrounding those he called "friends", revolved around the number of female "friends" he had and the number of times I had caught him cheating red-handed. Today, 3 years after putting him out of my house, the most drama I have to deal with is what to wear for work - the rest is just fleeting moments that come with everyday life.

I am back to enjoying my home and my garden, whereas during the marriage EVERYBODY had to do what the parasite wanted and WHEN he wanted, or we would all suffer hours and even days of his verbal abuse, silent treatment, slamming things around, breaking things, or intentional derailment and destruction of the "project" (cutting down trees he knew I wanted, dismantling projects he knew I wanted to keep, interjecting himself into an active project my daughter and I were working until we gave up, or starting projects by himself and leaving a massive mess for my daughter and I to clean up). No longer, THANK YOU GOD!

My oldest daughter, who lives with me (best roommate situation I could ever ask for), and I are getting our property cleaned up and manageable after YEARS of neglect while I was married to the narcissist. We are clearing overgrown brush, building raised vegetable garden beds, planning for a permaculture fruit tree orchard, and getting ready to get some chickens. Our goal is to become more food independent and use our property for long term sustainability. And best of all, WE CHOOSE when we go out to work in the garden (preferably during the cooler hours) instead of being bullied and harrassed by the parasite forcing us outside to "sweat alongside him" in the heat of the day, only to spend hours in misery that ALWAYS ended with his doing a half assed job or creating more work for my daughter and I to have to clean up.

If you are newly "narc free", just take baby steps....one step at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, leading up to days, weeks, months, and eventually years. How well I remember people like Synful or Christi Barger helping me through the panic attacks, anxiety, and depression, all of which brought me to the edge more times than I can count. I am forever grateful to my therapist, Cindy Markley at Living Waters, and highly recommend that anybody escaping a narcissistic relationship (especially when that relationship involves a malignant psychopath) find a qualified, caring, experienced therapist to shore you up on your journey to safety and recovery.

05/06/2025

It was such a RELIEF to get to the point that I KNEW it was over and I no longer felt that I needed to hold a place in my life for him!

05/06/2025

Not my words, but spot on:

‐---------------------

He said “I love you” while cheating on you.
Straight to your face.
No shame. No guilt. Just lies wrapped in sweet words.
That’s not love...that’s pure disrespect.

He wanted the benefits of your loyalty while living like he was single.
He wanted your trust while breaking it over and over behind your back.
And the worst part? He made you question yourself.
Like you were the problem.
Like you needed to do more, love harder, give more of yourself just to keep him.

No. Stop right there.

He didn’t cheat because you weren’t enough.
He cheated because he’s a coward who didn’t deserve you in the first place.

A man who truly loves you doesn’t risk losing you.
He doesn’t lie. He doesn’t sneak. He doesn’t cheat.
He protects what he values...and if he betrayed you, that means he never really valued you.

So don’t waste your time crying over someone who had the audacity to betray you while saying “I love you.”
Let him go.
Let him be someone else’s headache.

You deserve real love; honest, loyal, and loud.
Not a walking contradiction with a guilty smile.

~Sunny Large Onaiwu

*Image courtesy of Synful

05/06/2025

Yes, they do exist and they hide behind false personas such as our spouses, children, and friends. They go by names such as "Tony, Patty, or Crystal" in their campaign to "fit in" and appear to be normal, empathic, human beings, when behind closed doors they are Satan's vile serpents physically, emotionally, psychologically, and financially abusing their victims. Yes, monsters do exist, and they have no need to hide in closets or under our beds because we, the kind-hearted, empathic, genuine, and compassionate souls of the world, were fool enough to believe that WE were enough for those who claimed to have loved us. Smoke, mirrors, and lies are the narcissists' world - don't ever forget it.

05/06/2025

03/17/2025

YES! This right here! 💯🎯

Want to find out Who Do Narcissists Choose To Marry? This video is for you. For 1 on 1's and all my links - https://beacons.page/mentalhealness Channel Membe...