Tami's Tutoring LLC

10/01/2025

“Unconditional love is the foundation of self-worth.”🧡

10/01/2025

“When children feel securely attached, they dare to explore, learn, and rise after setbacks—because they trust love will always be there.” 🌱

10/01/2025

Awareness of your own wound = Responding with love instead of reaction ❣

10/01/2025

Imagine you’re 7 years old. You’re tired. You’re hungry. You’re already overwhelmed.

Your parent says: “Put on your shoes. It’s time to go right now.”
Your body screams no. Shoes feel too tight. The thought of leaving is too much. You feel hot tears threatening and a ball of lava in your belly.

But you don’t want to fight. You don’t want them mad at you. Other kids aren’t throwing a fit about their shoes.
So you obey. You override the panic in your chest. You shove your feet in the shoes. You bite your lip and blink really fast. You shove down the emotion. You keep going. On the outside: compliance. On the inside: collapse.
Now imagine this happening again and again. At school. At home. At the playground. Each time, you silence the signals of your nervous system. Each time, you bury your body’s “too much” under a layer of “yes, okay.”

Fast-forward a few years…
You’ve learned not to trust your own feelings.
You’ve learned to please others instead of listening to yourself.
You’ve learned that being “good” means abandoning yourself.
Now imagine a different version: You say “no.” You melt down. You argue. You cry. Everyone is upset. It looks messy. It feels hard. But you’ve stayed true to your body.

That “no” means your instincts are intact. Your nervous system is protecting you. You’re telling the truth about your capacity. It’s not defiance. It’s a cry for compassion and support.

This is why refusal matters. Because compliance at all costs teaches kids to shut themselves down. But resistance? Resistance shows us where support is needed.

As the adults, we can reframe. Instead of: “They won’t do what I say.” Try: “They can’t right now. Their nervous system is telling the truth.”

That’s not failure. That’s information.
So when your PDAer says “no”? It’s not the end of the world.
It’s a sign their self-protection is alive and well. It’s a chance for us to listen, adjust, and build real safety. It’s an opening to offering compassion, tenderness, and support.

📖 Read the full blog at amandadiekman.com/blog

10/01/2025

Correction can change a child’s behavior for a moment, but connection shapes who they become for a lifetime. 🌱

When children feel understood, valued, and loved, they don’t just obey—they trust. They become more open to guidance, more willing to learn, and more secure in who they are.

A child who is constantly corrected without connection may behave outwardly, but inside they may feel unseen, unheard, and unloved. On the other hand, a child who feels deeply connected to their parent learns that discipline isn’t about punishment—it’s about growth, safety, and love.

Connection is the foundation that makes correction meaningful. It’s what turns lessons into lifelong values. 💕

So before you correct, pause to connect. Look into their eyes, listen to their heart, and let them know you are on their side. Because one day, they won’t remember every rule you enforced… but they will always remember how you made them feel.
✍️parenting

10/01/2025

The more you notice and celebrate what you love, the more you’ll start to see just how much good is already in your life ❤️

10/01/2025

From my newest collection
Paper Flowers

10/01/2025

Breakfast Potatoes With Ham, Onion & Mushrooms
These delicious breakfast potatoes are the perfect side for your eggs and bacon!

10/01/2025

10/01/2025

Disobedience does not equal disconnection.
In fact, a child who feels safe to disobey is a sign of secure attachment and a healthy home.

Just because connection is how we should respond to disobedience, that does not mean disobedience is a result of disconnection. I can see how you may find yourself making those assumptions. Children are not meant to obedient. Our expectations around obedience have been flawed and harmful for centuries. Children don’t “listen” because they don’t want to usually… they have more important things to do… they have a need that feels more important for them… they don’t understand the request or it’s too much for them to do without help. Children are silly, dangerous and inappropriate because they haven’t develop the fully formed social mask that the rest of us carry. They take risks because they are learning. Disobedience has nothing to do with your connection but often connection is the best response.

Learn more about connection, co-regulation and deepening the parent-child bond in my latest book 👇

Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parent’s Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation⁣⁣
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Link: https://amzn.to/44yVD6U

Reviews

“Your book is currently changing our lives 🙌❤️🙏” T. Frissora

“Absolutely love your book! Thank you for what you do.” KQK

“The first book I can’t put down.” S. Cerami

“I don’t feel alone anymore!” P. Cassin

10/01/2025

Did you know….

“Trying to be a “perfect” parent is actually linked to anxious insecure attachment quality…. So “Good Enough” is actually better than “Perfect” from an attachment perspective .” J. Milburn

What does that mean? It means that balance and grace aren’t just bonuses you try to give yourself, they are mandatory and necessary with Responsive Parenting. Really, it’s about being responsive to yourself, as well as your children. It really is necessary. If you are feeling overwhelmed with your role as a parent, most minutes of most days, you may be trying too hard. Sitting down and reflecting on what aspects you can give yourself more grace in, can actually help you to meet the needs you do think are most important, more effectively.

Every parent who I mentor is trying 10 x harder than I ever do at this parenting thing. Many of you are trying to follow every recommendation you find, and so many contradict each other. A parent who is constantly doubting themselves may not be providing that secure base a child needs. Consistency can look very different for every home. As an example, we don’t believe in fighting about bed time so our children mostly go to bed when they want to. People contact me wanting me to tell them how to get their child to WANT to go to bed by 7:30. It’s hard to have it both ways. Often you have to choose one or the other. We choose no battle and late bedtime… maybe you choose battle and earlier bedtime… see it can look very different from home to home. Reference: Attachment and Development by Susan Goldberg (2000)


Learn more about this in my latest book 👇

Finding Your Calm: A Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation

Link in bio