McSweeney's

09/11/2026

"THE VIEW WHEN YOU GO OVER THE BRIDGE AND SEE THE GORGEOUS CITY LIGHTS, AND SOMETHING SMALL & BRAVE INSIDE OF YOU KNOWS THAT YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT."

“If you see something, say BINGO.” 9/10/26

09/10/2026

"The mayor's liberal apologists claim that, when the 9/11 attacks happened, he was 'in elementary school' and 'nine years old,' as if those are reasonable excuses for the future mayor's negligence."

“The mayor’s liberal apologists claim that, when the 9/11 attacks happened, he was ‘in elementary school’ and ‘nine years old,’ as if those are reasonable ex...

09/10/2026

We all process grief differently, as depicted in this latest installment of Underground Artists, our weekly comic by Ali Fitzgerald.

We all process grief differently.

09/10/2026

"To establish that AI did not write your book, we will upload it to an AI detector. The detector will retain your words, learn from your distinct syntax and semicolon placement, and use them to improve the technology that will eventually produce more books resembling yours."

“To establish that AI did not write your book, we will upload it to an AI detector. The detector will retain your words, learn from your distinct syntax and ...

09/10/2026

Ha Ha Hooooo!

Coming in 2027 from McSweeney’s and Knopf Books for Young Readers: The Avalanche Kingdom. The hugely anticipated follow-up to the Newbery Medal-winning and New York Times bestselling The Eyes & the Impossible. Dave Eggers and Caldecott honoree Shawn Harris reunite with the unforgettable Johannes and Bertrand and Helene for a wild and beautiful new adventure.

Coming in early 2027 as a deluxe-wood-bound and laser-etched edition, exclusively from McSweeney’s, and as a no-less-deluxe-but-bound-in-a-more-traditional-style hardcover from Knopf Books for Young Readers.

Link in bio to preorder the deluxe, all-ages, McSweeney’s edition.

09/10/2026

"Our autonomous vehicles don’t make human mistakes. Instead, they make errors that only a machine could make, like confusing a cyclist for an open roadway, or mixing up a pedestrian for an open roadway, or making a small oopsie and thinking that playing children are an open roadway. Nobody’s perfect."

“There’s going to be a couple years where cars are rocketing into highway embankments at seventy miles per hour due to completely impossible-to-predict event...

09/09/2026

7 a.m. I wake up and get stabbed.

8 a.m. I go to my corner bodega for a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese. On the way, I get mugged. I have no way to pay for the sandwich, so I’m forced to steal it. And then I stab the bodega owner so he won’t tattle on me.

9 a.m. I get on the subway and immediately get murdered.

7 a.m. I wake up and get stabbed.

09/09/2026

"Discussions should remain focused on literary works. They should never become a platform for students to pitch the professor on a business that, in theory, looks pretty lucrative, but in practice turns out to be a pyramid scheme."

“Discussions should remain focused on literary works. They should never become a platform for students to pitch the professor on a business that, in theory, ...

09/09/2026

“Wow—every repair in this house done by the previous owner was completed correctly.”

[Knocks on wall] “Wow—every repair in this house done by the previous owner was completed correctly.”

09/09/2026

"Now, to be fair, we did NOT topple the regime, we did NOT free the oppressed citizens of Romulus, and we did nothing to ensure Romulan leadership would stop developing tricobalt torpedoes. We did, however, reinstate the terrible treaty I canceled, except now the terms are even worse."

“Now, to be fair, we did NOT topple the regime, we did NOT free the oppressed citizens of Romulus, and we did nothing to ensure Romulan leadership would stop...