Jabroni Capital

Jabroni Capital A newsletter as unreliable as your lead investor

06/16/2026

All I have left is day drinking now.

Jabroni Capital ™️

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06/14/2026

Leave it to professionals ok Elon?

In other news, Jabroni Capital is excited to announce we’re actively seeking opportunities to collaborate with the Saudi Public Investment Fund.

Jabroni Capital ™️

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It’s about time we start giving Elon his flowers.
06/13/2026

It’s about time we start giving Elon his flowers.

Besides, Elon isn’t even the first trillionaire. I’ve been a trillionaire ever since I transferred my entire net worth i...
06/12/2026

Besides, Elon isn’t even the first trillionaire.

I’ve been a trillionaire ever since I transferred my entire net worth into Zimbabwean dollars.

I’m honoured to welcome him to the trillionaires boys club.

06/12/2026

This may or may not be me.

Jabroni Capital ™️

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Anyone who listens to what a bracelet tells them to do should automatically be disqualified from having an opinion about...
06/11/2026

Anyone who listens to what a bracelet tells them to do should automatically be disqualified from having an opinion about anything.

06/10/2026

That went well.

Jabroni Capital ™️

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“I love my job.”Scams VCs out of millions with fake AI companies.
06/09/2026

“I love my job.”

Scams VCs out of millions with fake AI companies.

06/09/2026

One glass of water and an appetiser later:

Jabroni Capital ™️

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