Deep Minds Anonymous

Deep Minds Anonymous We are the blessed ones who dare to feel everything so deeply. It's more of a blessing than a curse. When all you want is to be seen, to be understood.

This page, it's a community for all of you who are so often misunderstood.

10/27/2025

Refusing to acknowledge, dismissing, or choosing to negate how your behaviors have hurt someone and how it’s made them feel is arrogant. It’s the kind of arrogance that says, “My comfort, my perspective, my version of reality matters more than your pain.” It’s a refusal to see beyond yourself, a deliberate turning away from empathy and accountability. When you dismiss the feelings of someone you’ve hurt, you aren’t just avoiding responsibility; you’re actively minimizing their experience, making them question themselves, and trying to rewrite the story so that your actions feel acceptable to you.

But what’s even more arrogant is when you then choose to act like a victim and blame the other person because you’re too arrogant to acknowledge and face the reality of what you and your behaviors really did, along with the damage that you’ve caused someone. That’s a level of audacity that twists accountability into manipulation. It’s saying, “I will refuse to admit my mistakes, but I will make you feel guilty for pointing them out.” It turns the person who has been hurt into the “problem,” and suddenly, the one who caused pain becomes the one who complains, struggles, and suffers; all because they can’t face the truth about themselves.

This behavior isn’t just unfair; it’s corrosive. It erodes trust, crushes self-esteem, and traps relationships in cycles of guilt and confusion. People who engage in this pattern of arrogance don’t see the damage they leave behind, or if they do, they refuse to care. Their focus is entirely inward: protecting their ego, preserving their narrative, and avoiding the discomfort of self-reflection.

10/26/2025

Narcissists think when you are telling people what they did to you, that you are talking sh*t about them. No, you are describing what they did to you. They made themselves look like sh*t - you’re simply stating the truth. Narcissists cannot stand being exposed because their entire image depends on manipulation, control, and illusion. The moment you start speaking up, you take away their favorite weapon: silence. They want you to stay quiet so they can continue to play the victim and rewrite the story to make themselves look innocent while painting you as the problem. But the truth has a way of shining through, no matter how many lies they tell.

When you finally find your voice after being gaslit, blamed, and emotionally torn down, they’ll say you’re “talking badly” about them or “playing the victim.” What they really mean is that you’re ruining their reputation; the one they built on deception and pretending to be the good guy. They never cared about your pain or your truth; they only cared about maintaining their image. Narcissists see exposure as an attack, not accountability. To them, being called out is worse than the damage they caused. They fear embarrassment more than they ever felt guilt.

You’re not “talking sh*t.” You’re healing. You’re processing what happened, reclaiming your power, and refusing to carry their shame anymore. You are allowed to tell your story. You are allowed to say what happened without sugarcoating it. You are allowed to shed light on the abuse they tried to hide in the dark. Speaking up isn’t revenge; it’s freedom.

And if someone mistakes your truth for gossip, let them. People who have never dealt with a narcissist won’t always understand. But those who have will recognize every word. Narcissists expose themselves through their reactions; when they call you a liar for telling the truth, they confirm exactly who they are. In the end, your honesty is not defamation; it’s liberation. They created their own bad image; you’re just done protecting it.

10/26/2025

It’s a narrative that gets twisted so often, a story where the heroine’s emotions are misunderstood as the plot, rather than the clues to her heart. We’re quick to label, to dismiss, to tell her she’s “too much” without ever pausing to ask why she feels so much. But if you look closer, her reactions are not random eruptions. They are a language. A map of her investment, her trust, and her gradual withdrawal.

When she’s overreacting, it shows she cares deeply.

What you call an “overreaction” is rarely about the single, small thing that just happened. It’s the final feather that lands on a pile of accumulated hurts, disappointments, and swallowed words. It’s the overflow of a heart that has been collecting evidence of being overlooked. That intense reaction is the sound of a dam breaking under the weight of everything she’s been quietly carrying. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t react at all.

When she’s angry, it means she trusted you and felt let down.

Anger is often the armor of a wounded heart. It doesn’t surface when expectations are met; it ignites when a promise—spoken or unspoken—is broken. Her anger is a testament to the faith she had in you. She trusted you with her vulnerability, with her needs, with her vision of your partnership. The fire you see is the burning of that trust. If you were a stranger, her disappointment would be a quiet sigh, not a passionate flame.

When she asks questions, she’s seeking understanding.

Her questions are not an interrogation. They are bridge-building. She is trying to connect the dots, to see your perspective, to find a reason, a justification, a way back to common ground. She is actively fighting for the connection by trying to understand the rift. She is investing mental and emotional energy to solve the puzzle of your distance or your actions because the relationship is still worth the effort to her.

When she stays silent or lets things go, she’s starting to give up.

This is the most dangerous shift, and it’s often mistaken for peace. Her silence is not compliance. It is the sound of exhaustion. It means she has run out of words, out of energy, out of hope that expressing herself will lead to any change. She is no longer trying to build a bridge; she is accepting the chasm. Letting things go is not forgiveness; it’s surrender. She is disengaging, piece by piece, to protect the last remaining fragments of her peace.

And if she stops doing all of this, it’s a sign you’ve lost a truly good woman.

When the “overreactions” cease, when the anger cools into indifference, when the questions stop because she no longer cares about the answers, and when the silence becomes her permanent state - the war is over. And you have lost. You have lost the woman who fought for you with her emotions, who believed in you with her trust, who invested in you with her curiosity. You haven’t gained a “cool, calm” partner; you have created a ghost of the passionate, invested woman she once was. The love has not matured; it has evaporated.

A good woman’s fire is not a destructive force to be extinguished. It is the very energy that fuels her love, her loyalty, and her fierce commitment. If you spend your time criticizing the heat, you will eventually be left with only cold ashes.

10/22/2025

I sat with my anger and asked why it kept showing up.
It said, "Because you've been hurt, and no one listened."

I sat with my sadness and asked why it never left.
It said, "Because I'm the love and care you never received."

I sat with my fear and asked why it controlled me.
It said, "Because l am the part of you that's still waiting to feel safe."

Then I realized these feelings weren't my enemies..
They were my wounds, asking to be seen.

10/22/2025

"Marriages used to last" No, they didn't last because of love, they stayed because women had no choice. "Your grandma wasn't lucky, she was trapped." Back then, leaving a man meant losing everything; your home, your money, your children, your respect.

She stayed not because her heart was full, but because the world told her she'd be nothing without him. It wasn't romance. It was survival. So don't glorify the chains and call them commitment.

Real love lasts when you're free to walk away and still choose to stay.

10/22/2025

Don't ever push me to the point where I have to step out of character. I try my best to stay calm, to handle things with grace, to be the bigger person even when it's hard. But if you keep testing me, if you keep crossing lines, thinking I won't react, remember: silence doesn't mean weakness.
the moment I stop holding back, you'll see a side of me you never imagined existed. The kind of strength, fire, and chaos that doesn't ask for peace it becomes it. Don't ever put me in a situation where I have to step out of character because I'll show you some colors you didn't know came in the crayon box.

10/22/2025

The worst part isn't just his behavior - it's what happens when she calls it out. She brings up her pain, and instead of listening, he deflects, denies, or plays the victim. Her valid concerns are met with defensiveness and hostility. She's not asking for perfection, only acknowledgment, care, and accountability.
But he twists it until she feels crazy for even speaking up. He makes her question herself instead of questioning his actions.
The truth is simple: a secure man can handle feedback, a mature man listens and a loving man values her heart more than his pride. If YOU explode when she expresses herself the problem isn't her - it's you.

10/22/2025

One of the best things my therapist told me was "the reason you dissociate in your towel after you shower, sit in your car after you park, and mindlessly scroll on your phone all night after work is because you're living in a "functional freeze state."' Where you can still get things done, but it takes every ounce of your energy to do it. This is why you're constantly exhausted, space out often, and why you can be so social at work but then ignore every text once you get home."

If you can relate maybe this account is for you.

10/17/2025

I just heard someone say, "If they never heard your side of the story, then the side they did hear is just a reflection of how they already felt about you. It's confirmation bias." And that statement, simple as it seems, hit me with an intensity I can’t ignore. It freed me in ways I didn’t even realize I needed—freed me from carrying the heavy burden of anyone who has ever villainized me without ever giving me a chance to speak, without ever pausing to consider that there might be more to the story than what they’ve been told. It made me understand that the distorted image they hold of me isn’t about who I am at all—it’s a mirror reflecting their assumptions, fears, insecurities, and prejudices.

For years, I allowed other people’s perceptions to shape my own sense of self. I constantly worried about what people thought of me, tried to explain myself, to justify my actions, to prove that I wasn’t the person their narrative painted me to be. I spent energy trying to fight shadows, convincing those who had already made up their minds that their story wasn’t the whole truth. And yet, all along, I didn’t see that their story wasn’t mine to fix. Their judgments were never really about me—they were about them. Their need to feel justified in their own beliefs, to maintain the worldview they had constructed, to confirm what they already felt—they dictated the version of me they chose to believe.

Recognizing this is transformative. It’sliberatingting. It allows me to stop apologizing for existing, for being myself, for living a life that doesn’t always fit neatly into someone else’s preconceived ideas. It allows me to step away from the constant anxiety of defending my reality to those who have no intention of understanding it. Their story, distorted though it may be, is theirs to hold. My story is mine, and it does not require validation or approval from anyone else.

This realization also teaches patience and self-compassion. I understand now that not everyone will hear me, not everyone will see me, and not everyone will care to try. That’s not my failure, and it’s certainly not my burden. The peace that comes from acknowledging this is profound—it’s a quiet confidence that my truth stands, whole and undeniable, regardless of whether the world recognizes it. I no longer need to chase approval, defend against falsehoods, or measure myself against the distorted perceptions of others.

There’s also a strange beauty in this freedom. It allows me to reclaim energy I once wasted on frustration, resentment, and defensiveness. I can now focus on living authentically, on nurturing relationships with those willing to see me fully, and on cultivating a sense of self that is independent of anyone else’s narrative. I can embrace my growth, my flaws, my victories, and my quiet moments without the heavy weight of judgment from those who refuse to understand.

The truth is, confirmation bias is everywhere. People interpret everything through the lens of what they already believe, what they already expect, and what they already want to see. Once you internalize that, you stop taking it personally. You stop bending yourself to fit into someone else’s story. You stop giving power to their distorted reflections. You finally start living for yourself, seeing yourself clearly, and letting your life unfold on your own terms.

And in that freedom, I feel lighter than I ever have. It’s like stepping out of a dark, suffocating room and into open air; the weight of other people’s misconceptions dissolves, leaving only the clarity of my own truth. I no longer need to be defined by anyone else. Their judgments do not diminish me. Their narratives do not limit me. I exist fully, unapologetically, and completely and that is the most liberating feeling of all.

10/17/2025

This is a big one. This is the single most distinguishing characteristic of a pathological person. If a person can see you breaking down, crying, and in pain; if a person can witness the weight of your heartache, your tears, your inner struggles—and yet that same person can overlook it, dismiss it, or show indifference, then there is something deeply and disturbingly missing in that person. And the thing that is missing is empathy. Empathy - the ability to truly feel, understand, and resonate with another person’s emotions is the single most essential ingredient for any meaningful relationship. Without it, no bond, no matter how promising it may appear on the surface, can ever be genuine, stable, or nurturing.

A person who lacks empathy will fail to notice your suffering. They will not acknowledge the pain you endure, the moments of vulnerability you bravely share, or the cries of your heart for understanding and compassion. In essence, the deepest, most sacred parts of you; the parts that define who you are, your vulnerability, your humanity will be ignored or trivialized. This is not a mere oversight; it is a profound inability to connect with another human being on a fundamental emotional level. Invalidation: the act of denying, minimizing, or dismissing someone’s feelings is one of the cruelest, most insidious forms of emotional abuse. Living with someone who invalidates your pain is like living in a house without light: you are present, but the essence of your being is unseen, unrecognized, and unappreciated.

How could anyone possibly sustain a relationship with a person who cannot see or understand their pain, who cannot grasp the emotional weight of their life experiences, who remains indifferent to their suffering? Love, at its core, is rooted in the ability to empathize. It is about recognizing the joy and sorrow of another person and responding with care, compassion, and understanding. Without empathy, love cannot thrive. Without empathy, intimacy becomes a hollow façade, a performance where one person constantly reaches out and the other continually ignores, overlooks, or invalidates those efforts.

A relationship devoid of empathy is not just unsustainable - it is damaging. Over time, your sense of worth, your confidence, and your emotional well-being can erode. You may begin to doubt your own experiences, question the validity of your feelings, and internalize the indifference as something wrong with yourself. But the truth is clear: the absence of empathy is a reflection of the other person’s limitations, not your inadequacy. A person who cannot care about your pain cannot offer love, cannot provide support, and cannot nurture a connection. They will never truly see you, and they will never honor the depth of your emotional truth.

Empathy is not optional in love; it is the lifeblood of it. Compassion, understanding, and validation are not luxuries; they are necessities. Without them, no relationship can survive, no heart can feel safe, and no trust can flourish. Love cannot live where there is no empathy. And you deserve love that sees you, feels with you, and honors every part of your emotional reality. Anything less is not love; it is neglect. Anything less is a denial of your humanity.

10/17/2025

One day you are going to look back and wish you had told more people to mind their own business.
Because for too long, you stayed quiet when you should’ve spoken up. You swallowed your anger, dimmed your light, and tolerated behaviors that chipped away at your peace all because you didn’t want to be “the bad one.” You wanted to be kind, understanding, and forgiving, even to those who took advantage of your goodness.

But one day, you’ll see it clearly that you were never obligated to make everyone comfortable at the expense of your own sanity. You’ll realize that “being the bigger person” doesn’t mean letting people walk all over you. It means knowing when to walk away without a second thought. You’ll wish you had set firmer boundaries, spoken your truth without hesitation, and cut ties with anyone who thrived off your silence.

You’ll understand that self-respect sometimes sounds harsh to those who benefited from your softness. That choosing yourself isn’t arrogance — it’s survival. And when you finally stop watering dead relationships, stop overexplaining yourself to those who never listened, and stop giving energy to people who drained you; that’s when you’ll feel free.

10/17/2025

"It's not my job to tell you that your behavior is disrespectful. I'm not your parent. I accept who you are and act accordingly.

I’ve reached a point in life where I no longer feel obligated to point out someone’s lack of decency or emotional awareness. If a person truly values a relationship, whether it’s friendship, family, or love, they’ll make an effort to be mindful. They’ll listen when something feels off, they’ll care when their actions hurt you, and they’ll show accountability without needing to be taught how.

But when someone consistently disrespects you, dismisses your feelings, or twists situations to make you feel guilty - that’s not ignorance, that’s choice. And I’ve learned that trying to educate people who don’t care to change is just another form of self-abandonment.

So I don’t argue anymore. I don’t overexplain. I don’t write paragraphs trying to make someone understand how their behavior affected me. I observe, accept, and respond accordingly. My peace matters more than being understood by someone who never intended to understand me in the first place.

Respect is not something you chase. It’s something you enforce through silence, distance, and boundaries. You teach people how to treat you not through lectures, but through absence.

Because once I see who you are; truly are.. I believe you. And once I believe you, I stop trying to change you. That’s not cruelty, that’s self-respect.

I no longer try to fix people who show no effort to grow. I’ve learned that not everyone deserves access to my energy, my time, or my explanations. Some people only deserve the lesson that comes from losing me."

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