06/09/2026
Lately, God has been showing me that “training up a child” is so much deeper than simply correcting behavior or punishing for it. It’s teaching, equipping, guiding, modeling, and patiently walking our children through the right way to respond or behave.
In this moment, my son was upset that his sister knocked over this tower he was building. They started fighting, screaming, crying the whole nine. So, I waited for the emotions to simmer down a bit and I got their attention.
I checked on my son because he was clearly upset and instructed him to use one of the “tools” we’ve taught him when he’s emotional, which is taking a deep breath. Then, I reminded him of truth— that he has control over his emotions. Lastly, I walked him through what he should do instead when problems arise.
This video is a visual of what I do 10-15 times a day (not being dramatic) 🙃😭 but one thing motherhood is teaching me is that repetition is not failure. Repeating ourselves doesn’t automatically mean our children are rebellious or that we’re doing something wrong. Sometimes it simply means they are still learning.
Children are not born knowing emotional regulation, patience, gentleness, or self-control. These are things we must intentionally teach over and over again with consistency, grace, and wisdom.
“I shouldn’t have to repeat myself” or “Why do I have to keep telling you…” is a belief system that needs to be dismantled because we in fact should be repeating ourselves (especially when they’re under 18) so that what we’re trying to teach them becomes rooted in their subconscious mind and they carry it with them throughout their lifetime (so this also means we have to be mindful of what we say to them and how we say it).
I’d much rather say, “you have control over your emotions” “take a deep breath” “you can be upset and still be kind” 75 times a day and my son hears that in his head when he’s 24 years old navigating relationships vs. yelling at him for reacting out of emotion and he’s 24 years old suppressing how he feels because he feels emotionally unsafe and doesn’t know how to regulate himself and express himself