Rutendo N Dhliwayo

Rutendo N Dhliwayo Let’s learn, grow, and inspire each other! Have questions? Comment!

Welcome! 👋 This page is all about helping you grow find tips on university applications, scholarships, career opportunities, personal development, and encouragement from the Word of God.

12/12/2025

It’s a beautiful Friday…

How was your week?

12/09/2025

Desperation opens room for deception…

12/08/2025

Hi everyone! 🌟 You can support me by sending Stars - they help me earn money to keep making content you love.

Whenever you see the Stars icon, you can send me Stars!

12/02/2025

May this month end in joy for you…

December will favor you

Let’s talk about the “I can’t say no” mentality, the silent struggle of people pleasers.There was a season in my life wh...
12/01/2025

Let’s talk about the “I can’t say no” mentality, the silent struggle of people pleasers.

There was a season in my life where I said “yes” to EVERYTHING.
Yes to church events.
Yes to favors.
Yes to helping people who gave nothing back.
Yes to responsibilities I didn’t even have time or energy for.
Yes, yes, yes… even when my heart was screaming “no.”

And the crazy part?
I wasn’t doing it because I wanted to.
I was doing it because deep down I thought:
“If I help everyone, maybe they’ll see my value.
Maybe they’ll love me.
Maybe I won’t disappoint anyone.”

But the truth is… people pleasing doesn’t bring love.
It brings exhaustion.

I became tired.
I became bitter.
I became invisible in a crowd of people I was constantly trying to please.

People pleasing is a silent prison, you decorate the walls with kindness, but inside you’re slowly losing yourself.

And here’s the painful part:

When you always show up for everyone,
you attract people who NEVER show up for you.

People who take advantage.
People who only call you when they need something.
People who get upset the moment you set a boundary.

But people pleasing doesn’t only drain you…
it steals your identity.

You forget what YOU like.
What YOU want.
What YOU’re called to do.

You become a version of yourself that exists only to make others comfortable.

If any of this sounds familiar, please hear this gently:

It’s not selfish to protect your peace.
It’s not wrong to say, “I can’t do that right now.”
It’s not evil to prioritize your mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

Sometimes “no” is the most loving thing you can say to yourself.

If you want to break free from this mentality, start small:
Say, “Let me get back to you,” instead of rushing into yes.
Set boundaries without apologizing.
Be honest about your limits.
Pray: “Lord, teach me to love others AND myself.”

Because here’s the truth:

People who genuinely love you will not be threatened by your boundaries.
They will respect them.
They will honor them.
They will understand them.

And the ones who get offended?
They were benefitting from your lack of boundaries, not your love.

Thanksgiving greasy breakfast…that time it’s almost midday and I’m now lazy to make it 🤣
11/27/2025

Thanksgiving greasy breakfast…that time it’s almost midday and I’m now lazy to make it 🤣

11/25/2025

Hey guys; are you enjoying the mentality series?

Should I continue…?

Let’s talk about the fear mentality…that voice that whispers, “What if I fail?”You ever meet someone who is SO gifted, S...
11/24/2025

Let’s talk about the fear mentality…that voice that whispers, “What if I fail?”

You ever meet someone who is SO gifted, SO talented, SO capable…but they’re stuck?

Not because they can’t do it.
Not because they’re not good enough.
But because fear has become their silent prison.

I once spoke to a young woman who desperately needed a job. She had the skills, the qualifications and the potential.
But she wouldn’t apply.

Not even one application.

Because in her mind, rejection would hurt more than trying.

Fear told her:
“What if they say no?”
“What if you’re not good enough?”
“What if you embarrass yourself?”
“What if you fail?”

But the crazy thing about fear is…
it feels like it’s protecting you,
when actually it’s robbing you.

Fear doesn’t just stop you from doing things —
it delays your destiny.
It makes you settle for less.
It hides your gifts.
It makes your weaknesses look bigger than they really are.

And sometimes, fear becomes so loud that you start believing it.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

Fear asks, “What if I fail?”

Faith whispers, “But what if you succeed?”

What if God actually comes through?
What if the door DOES open?
What if you’re more ready than you think?
What if the thing you’re scared of is the very thing that will change your life?

Sometimes you just need one small step.
One application.
One message.
One “yes” to something new.
One brave moment.

Courage doesn’t mean you’re not scared.
It just means you move anyway.

If fear has been holding you back, try this:

Take one small action every day.
Write down the exact lie fear tells you.
Replace it with truth.
Pray, “Lord, give me boldness.”

Because your future needs boldness more than it needs perfection.

And honestly?
You’re capable of more than fear wants you to believe.

Let’s talk about the “I don’t need anyone” mentality.You know that person who moves like they’ve got everything under co...
11/23/2025

Let’s talk about the “I don’t need anyone” mentality.

You know that person who moves like they’ve got everything under control?
Strong. Independent. Unbothered.
They don’t ask for help. They don’t lean on anyone.
They handle everything on their own…almost too perfectly.

I used to admire people like that.
I thought, “Wow, this person is so strong.”
Until life taught me something…

Sometimes that “strength” isn’t strength at all.
Sometimes it’s trauma dressed in confidence.

Some people learned the hard way that when they needed people, they were disappointed.
When they trusted, they were betrayed.
When they opened up, they were judged.

So now they do everything alone…not because they want to, but because being alone feels safer than being hurt again.

But here’s the truth we don’t like to admit:

Being a lone wolf feels powerful,
but it slowly drains you.

You carry burdens alone.
You fight battles alone.
You celebrate victories alone.
You cry alone.
You break alone.

And the saddest part?
Breakthroughs that could have come faster take longer,
because God often sends help through people and the lone wolf pushes every single one of them away.

If you’re reading this and it sounds like you,
please hear this with love:

You don’t have to suffer in silence.
You don’t have to prove that you’re strong.
You don’t have to act like you’re fine all the time.

It’s okay to need help.
It’s okay to lean on someone.
It’s okay to let people in…slowly, safely, wisely.

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation.
Healing grows in community, in friendship, in support, in honest conversations.

Sometimes the bravest thing you’ll ever do is say,
“I can’t carry this alone.”

You are safe.
You are supported.
You deserve real connection.

And God will send the right people, don’t shut the door before they even knock.

Let’s talk about that mentality where some people can’t just be happy for you.You know those people who, no matter what ...
11/21/2025

Let’s talk about that mentality where some people can’t just be happy for you.

You know those people who, no matter what good thing is happening,
they must find something negative to say?

You show them a new dress and instead of saying,
“Wow, you look nice!”
they’ll squint their eyes and go,
“Hmm… it’s nice but it’s a bit tight, don’t you think?”
Like… just say it’s nice and go. 😭

I remember when we bought a washing machine at home.
We were all excited, celebrating something new.
And someone walked in, didn’t even say “congratulations,”
they just went straight to:
“Ah, why is it not straight? Why didn’t you put it in that corner?”
Ma’am… sir… can we just enjoy the moment??

Or when you buy a new car.
Instead of saying “I’m happy for you,”
they’ll go:
“Hmm… that car? Haiwawo, it’s expensive to maintain.”
“Parts for this one, you’ll suffer.”
“Ah, you should have bought the other one.”

And you’re there like,
“I wasn’t asking for a car review. I was sharing good news.” 😭

This mentality is real
it’s called negative filtering.
No matter what good is happening,
they zoom in on the “faults.”

But let’s be honest for a second…
Sometimes people who do this aren’t actually bad.
Most of the time they’re projecting something inside:

They struggle to celebrate themselves
They feel insecure
They compare
They don’t know how to give pure compliments
They always expect the worst, so they speak from that place

But here’s the truth:

A heart that is healed doesn’t need to poke holes in other people’s blessings.

A grateful person can say,
“Well done, I’m happy for you,”
without adding negativity at the end.

And for us?

The best thing we can do is not let that mentality pull us down.
Some good news doesn’t need commentary.
Some blessings don’t need explanation.
Some progress doesn’t need approval.

Sometimes it’s enough to just smile and say,
“Thank you. I’m grateful.”

And move on with your blessing.

Have you ever been around someone who is always the victim in every situation?You ask them what happened, and somehow…it...
11/20/2025

Have you ever been around someone who is always the victim in every situation?

You ask them what happened, and somehow…it’s always someone else’s fault.
The boss is evil.
Their friends are fake.
People don’t like them.
Life is unfair to them only.

At first you even feel sorry for them…
But after a while you start thinking,
“Wait… how is it that every single story ends with you being the victim?”

But before we even look at other people, let’s be honest with ourselves for a minute.

What if we sometimes do the same thing without realizing it?

I had a moment like this myself.
I was complaining about something that didn’t work out and suddenly it hit me:
“I didn’t even do my part. I just blamed everyone else because it was easier.”

Sometimes we don’t choose the victim mentality on purpose.
Life hits us… disappoints us… and we slip into that pattern without noticing.

But the truth is:
•Not everything is someone else’s fault.
•Sometimes it’s our choices.
•Sometimes it’s our lack of effort.
•Sometimes it’s our fear pretending to be innocence.

It’s not easy to admit that.
But it’s freeing.

Because the moment you say,
“Okay, maybe I played a part in this,”
you also take back your power to change it.

No shame.
No beating yourself up.
Just honesty… and growth.

You don’t have to stay in the place where life is always happening to you.
You can shift into a place where you say,
“I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m taking responsibility.”

That’s where transformation begins.

11/14/2025

How dare you doubt God when you are living and enjoying his miracles?
Read that again

Address

Silver Spring, MD
20910

Telephone

+27670282765

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Rutendo N Dhliwayo posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Share