08/21/2025
I learned a thing or two from these screenshots below.
There is a woman I know who married at 20, very calm, Godfearing and hardworking. She married a good man but he is patriarchy and a misogynist. They are both uneducated but can read and write.
The Man ruled his home the way he wanted, not accommodating the woman’s ideas, suggestions or advice because he believed that she is not exposed and cannot offer anything meaningful other than bearing Children. The Woman bore him both male and female children.
They lived a little above average for about 30years till his finances came crashing down and he was left with nothing to show for all his years of hardwork. His Wife who ran a small business also tried her best too but all to no avail.
They eventually left the City and returned to the village. They now live like Cat and Dog because his once quiet wife whom he used to be able to control can no longer take his bull s**ts and challenges him a lot.
To make matters worse, they do not have a comfortable life and depend on their struggling Children for financial support. They only see the worst in each other and fight all the time.
A Woman who submitted to her Husband her whole life, the calm woman who everybody knew to be peaceful suddenly become rebellious to her Husband. Anything he does provokes her.
You see, the lesson I wish the Men especially the single Men will learn from this story is that in choosing a Wife, stop looking for who you can control, rather look for a good Woman who can help you achieve your dreams. A woman you can listen to, a woman you will be scared to mishave or maltreat because she can challenge your bull s**t.
I have come to realize that the relationship between my Caregiver and I can be likened to that of a Husband and Wife. Despite we are both female but because I am the one providing and paying her while she is the one cooking and helping me with the physical needs I have which I can no longer do by myself as Muscular Dystrophy has stolen those abilities from me, I still try my best to reduce stress for her however possible.
She eats breakfast before me 95% of the time. She disobeys me a lot, and does some things that really triggers me, sometimes I shout at her but I have also learned that it isn’t the best approach.
These days, I don’t shout, I just talk calmly, even at that she still misbehaves a lot of times. But guess what? Our relationship has gotten far better than it ever was. She always want to hang around me, to the extent that I shush her away sometimes.
I ask for her opinion most of the times and even when it doesn’t make much sense to me, I still go by it just to make her know how much I value her.
I am even looking for another Caregiver to replace her because I want her to go on leave. I surprise her every now and then with my actions and it makes her so happy.
If I were to be thinking that because I am paying her for her services, and I far older than she is, I have a Masters degree, far more exposed and experienced, why will I be seeking for her opinion, advice or suggestions or why will I be listening to her or trying to make her happy, I am sure our relationship wouldn’t have been good, not to talk of being this great.
I teach her content creation, how to use the computer, give her my phone to watch movies, despite she has a Smartphone and a television in her room, I correct her grammar, expose her to so many things she doesn’t know about, share my past mistakes and my future plans with her.
In fact, I have been telling her that we should start a Business together, more like a side hustle and we will be co owners. I told her that if she doesn’t want, I will not be offended.
I can tell you with my full chest that we have become best friends. I want the best for her. I want her to be very successful. I don’t have any fear or whatsoever about her doing better than me in the future, if God wills it, let it be so.
We pray together, read scriptures together, tease each other, bet on each other, argue a lot, still, we are great together.
So you see my dear single Men, it will pay you more to marry a suitable partner, one that is going where you are going, even if she is too wise, intelligent, exposed, domineering or whatever your fears may be, as long as she is a good person, fears God and teachable, she will not only be good to you, she will help you achieve so much more than only you could achieved by yourself, no wonder the Bible refer to her as a “help mate.”
Even if you marry a girl you can control now, one day, she too will tear eyes and they are the type that becomes rebellious and can do the unthinkable.
Most women already know that Men usually marry who they can control so they will pretend to be humble and act like fools after you have married them, they will now show you their true color, and that is why most marriages have serious problems and some end in divorce.
Is that not why there came about the igbo proverb that says “Women are like wrapped gift, when you Marry them and open the gift, whatever you see, you take?”
But the truth is that, it is not all women that are like wrapped gifts, the women who show their true self are the ones who marry late why the pretentious ones are the ones that marry on time, most times.
Work on your bad characters and do away with them. Once you have become a better man and willing to keep getting better, I assure you that you can marry any type of woman and your marriage will be sweet for both you and your Wife.
Okay?
TIQS 🤎
21/08/2025
16:18
