Dangerous Cupcake Lifestyle

28/07/2026

So yesterday, we talked about retirement. Today? Hormones!

Fun stuff, right? But it's important stuff to talk about if you're a midlife woman over 50. (One could even say 40.)

A couple of years ago, a doctor told me about a book called The New Menopause by Mary Claire Haver. (You can find her on Facebook at The Pause Life by Dr. Mary Claire Haver.) It's an eye-opening read...and it inspired me to pay more attention to my health as an older female. (Honestly, I hate the term 'older,' because I in no way feel my age, but facts...)

This year, as I was recovering from my back surgery (which was six months ago yesterday), I started experiencing some things that were new to me, mainly wild weight fluctuations overnight (from 3-9 pounds!), puffy face, brain fog, exhaustion the minute I woke up. My doctor sent me to a nutritionist because five pounds appeared on the scale within a week, yet my regular lab tests came back within normal ranges, and the fluctuations still continued way above and beyond those five pounds. I was already on HRT, so the nutritionist referred me first back to my doctor to get a full hormone panel run.

Who knew that having cortisol spikes and hormones out of balance could put weight on in your axillary crease? (And did you even know you had an axillary crease??) It could also result in a puffy face and early day exhaustion. And then there are those pesky lymph nodes that may not be draining properly...and of course, having spinal surgery can mess with ALL of this, too.

Thankfully, my doctor is amazing and easily ordered tests. The goal is to ensure my hormones are balanced and my cortisol isn't out of whack. Stress and sleeping problems can severely impact your cortisol levels, and they all coexist in a vicious cycle if even one thing isn't working properly. One test may not be enough; numbers need to be considered in conjunction with each other.

Why am I sharing this? Because we women are often told 'this is just how it is at 60.' We're told we need to accept ourselves as we are. To get used to it. To settle. If we don't want to do that...and I didn't...we are forced to become our own advocates in a healthcare system that doesn't explore our issues much if they can blame it on age...so many women are sent home being told there's no real help for a weight loss plateau, dry skin, or 1am waking. It's kind of infuriating.

I did see one new tele-health doctor in the midst of this who told me I needed to be okay with how I look. "Your BMI is fine!" When I asked for a cortisol test, she said "why would you want that?" Because I know how to lose weight, and I know that weight gain in this one specific area isn't typical. She instead ordered a basic thyroid test, which came back low but 'normal.' (And mine was normally borderline high, but that wasn't considered....)

My regular doctor is wonderful, and I look forward to continuing to work with her and my nutritionist to interpret my test results and figure out what I can do. Yes, my BMI is fine. My body fat percentage is still 'low,' and I'm not gaining more weight...but I'm also not losing those sudden five pounds and I don't want to have to count calories forever. And the axillary crease jiggles just aren't flattering in a tank top.

Ladies, speak up. Ask questions. If your doctor blows you off, consider another doctor. There's a fine line between though between being obsessed or being your own doctor and listening to those with actual medical degrees (which is NOT me), so find a team you can work with, one that listens to you and takes your worries into consideration while also providing information to help you understand your true situation. We don't want to be telling our doctors how to do their job. I want doctors willing to help me figure out what's actually happening and who won't immediately tell me to start taking a GLP-1. (That's a no for me.)

28/07/2026

Got a new perspective while hiking at Lake Tahoe. Swipe to see the reason we took this trail. Absolutely incredible.

27/07/2026

Six months ago today! I was up at 4am and at the hospital, missing my coffee but SO happy for my back surgery. It was rough. Painful. Humbling. Scary. Exciting. But here I am, 95% back to normal and so glad I did it.

Back surgery is one of those things no one wants to have to do. I mean, they're literally cutting into your spine in many cases. I had severe spinal stenosis, so I had some bone removed, a cyst removed, a decompression and just a bunch of general cleanup done at L4-L5. Without the surgery, I was facing potential permanent nerve damage, drop foot, and/or loss of control of certain things that no one wants to have out of their control. For me, I'd run out of options and it was time. You can read more about it here: https://dangerouscupcakelifestyle.com/recovery-from-back-surgery-my-spinal-surgery-story/

Six months later, I'm in yoga teacher training. I can do a forward fold again! I'm able to walk around Disneyland, lift weights (within reason), travel. Jumping around, zip lining, skiing...they're still off the table for another six months, but I'll take that, because it's far better than the alternative.

I have my life back, and I will never take that for granted!

26/07/2026

Can you do a back bend? I'm still working on it since my back surgery.

Listen to your body and trust yourself.

26/07/2026

Midlife ladies, let's talk about something that affects all of us...and I don't mean menopause. Let's talk about RETIREMENT.

When we talk about retiring, we usually focus on the financial side, but that's not the only big thing. We can save, plan, invest, whatever we do to be financially set, but we can't truly adjust to not working until we're there. We can say we're going to get hobbies, get fit, travel, read, hike, whatever, but there's a big segment of time between that last day of work and the day we realize we no longer think about work.

I call it the transition phase. We wake up and feel out of sorts. We are excited about GETTING TO DO ALL THE THINGS!! But, we have to first move past the "I should be productive" feelings and the need to fill our schedule.

The worst thing we can do is leave a job or business and jump into something else we're not sure about. Why leave a stressful career if we're going to just recreate a new kind of stress?

It's okay to take some time -- days, weeks, months -- to figure out what we want to do next.

Take the time to get up and meander with your coffee or tea. Contemplate...or don't. Let your mind wander. Relax and enjoy. You will find your way without force. Your life will naturally unfold and your interests will begin to emerge.

Retirement is time to fine tune the life we want. Let's not waste that gift. (And those bills, they'll still be there, but if we plan, we can still do it. Retirement doesn't mean not ever earning money; it's just earning it YOUR way, in whatever way you make it happen. We'll talk about social security, saving, sacrificing, all that less-than-fun stuff later on. I'm not at social security age yet, but I sure am eyeballing those numbers. We ladies need to be smart and protect ourselves!)

15/07/2026

The smiles on our faces say it all! Our time at Costa Rica Dog Rescue & Adoption, just meters away from the La Fortuna Waterfall, was an absolute highlight of our trip in April. We wanted to bring all the dogs home, but little Amber on my lap here stole my heart. In fact, all three in that pic were absolute dolls…and Mordo, my heart, when you laid down and rolled over for belly rubs, I wanted to run off with you..slowly, you are working on getting the exercise since you were rescued. You are all in such good hands, and I wish it was easier to bring dogs here to the states!

Have you ever volunteered somewhere while on vacation? This is me saying DO IT. I had no idea this place existed until we saw a random flyer at the owner’s restaurant, and it became so important to us that we could set it up.

The dog rescue is an incredible opportunity to donate money to the organization, so they can save, medically treat, house, care for, and rehome dogs in Costa Rica. You also donate your time, playing with the dogs, walking them, whatever they need that you’re able to do. We chose to take dogs on short walks up and down the street outside the organization, which also houses a restaurant where we had the two best fresh passion fruit mojitos we’ve ever had…and the tacos!

Owned and operated by Scott Bradley, a Californian-turned-Costa Rican, he also is a chef who offers private culinary classes in the gorgeous kitchen upstairs. We learned about them too late to set it up while we were there, but we know where we’ll be eating at least one night on our next trip to La Fortuna and Lake Arenal.

You can find them at www.crdogrescue.com, or here on Instagram at . Book online and go spend a few hours loving on these babies!

14/07/2026

Where are my fellow yoga lovers? I'm in the midst of my 200 hour YTT and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

Life's been really stressful the last couple of years, and while everyone goes through seasons, I'm finding yoga to be a game changer in my moods, my physical health, and my mental health. When we were in Costa Rica in April, even the hubs went with me to 6:30am yoga in the rainforest. What an incredible experience!

Hatha-, vinyasa-, and nidra-based, each session was full of peaceful flow and relaxation. I don't know if I've ever enjoyed a savasana so much. This vacation was just about 10 weeks post-surgery, so my movements were still limited, but with proper modifications and acceptance towards my limitations, it was exactly what I needed.

Vacation doesn't need to be go go go go all the time. Make space for the peace, trying new things, and taking in your surroundings.

12/07/2026

Midlife women, do you ever feel like managing your health is an all-consuming job?

I had major back surgery in January, and while I'm 85% back to normal, I'm still in physical therapy twice a week. (I also do specialized massages and yoga to work on scar tissue and muscle tightness in my hips.) Then there's the nutritionist I'm working with to address the four pounds I put on after the surgery that will.not.budge...no matter what level of activity I maintain or what my calorie deficit is like.

Throw in the appts with the doctor who is addressing my hormone levels (midlife ladies, please tell me you're doing this too!) and the dermatologist who helps me avoid full blown melanoma (I currently have enough excision scars that I need to make up some crazy stories to explain) and there was my mammogram this past week, too. I'm glad I run my own business. How do employed people fit it all in??

Ladies, stay on top of your health! It's a juggling act, and we don't need to be perfect to live a long happy life, but admitting we need to spend the time on ourselves is half the battle. Do the things, ask the questions, and if you feel unseen or unheard, find a new clinician. The healthcare industry is expensive and messy, but it's even worse when we women have to demand answers instead of being told "it's just how it is at your age." That will NEVER be a real answer for me. What about you?