01/02/2021
FALLEN VIRTUE SNEAK PEAK:
Prologue
Belinda Barnes grew up an only child, in an upper class neighborhood. Her mother, Jacequeline Barnes was the model housewife and socialite. By all appearances, the Barnes family was the great American family. Frank was the bread winner, and ran a successful investment firm. They lived in an upscale neighborhood in Hackettstown, New Jersey, just across the state line from Pennsylvania. Frank was not her biological father. She had been adopted by Frank, when she was an infant. Her biological father, Evan Roberts, was a Navy pilot. His plane was shot down over Cambodia during the Vietnam War, just before she was born.
When she was younger, her mother would tell her stories of her real father. She talked about what a good man he was, and how kind and honorable he was. Belinda never knew her dad, but she had built him up in her mind. Even though she never knew Evan, no man would ever measure up, especially not the imposter that called himself her father now. She did not like Frank Barnes. He was hateful, cruel, and short tempered. When she was younger she remembered seeing bruises on her mother’s face, and she was certain Frank had given them to her. She would hear him yelling and she would get scared and hide in her closet. The next day, she would see bruises on her mother’s face. Jacequeline would make excuses and blame the bruises on a fall or an accident. Belinda never understood why her mother would stay with a man that was mean and abusive to her. She assumed her mother was not willing to give up the money and status that came from being Mrs. Barnes.
In the early years, Belinda would spend a lot of time with nannies or shipped off to camp. Jacequeline would often tell her not to make Frank angry, and seemed to make extra effort to keep Belinda away from Frank. Frank was never paternal, most of her youth he ignored Belinda. She was an inconvenience that he did not want to be bothered with. Frank spent a lot of time away from the house. He left for work early, and more often than not, he came home late. Jacequeline would try to get Belinda to bed before he came home. It was as though Jacequeline was trying to keep him from remembering a child lived in the home.
They never took family trips together. They never went out to dinner together. Jacequeline always instructed the staff to feed Belinda before Frank came home. The only trips Belinda could remember taking was either camp or the few trips she took with her mom to Philadelphia to see her mother’s family. In Philadelphia, her mother was like an entirely different person. She was more attentive, would casually hang out in the small apartments with Belinda and read from books or play games. Things she rarely did at home.
Belinda loved the trips to Philadelphia. Her entire family all lived in one big apartment building. Her Aunt Dottie and Uncle Raymond owned the building. Before her grandfather died, he and her grandmother lived in an apartment next to Dottie and Raymond. Her Aunt Audrey and Uncle Brian also lived in the building. When they would go to visit, her aunt Dottie would give them an apartment to stay in. They were always small apartments, but they had so much fun while they were there. When Jacequeline would say it was time to go home, Belinda would always beg to stay. Belinda just did not understand why they could not stay where they were happy. She figured her mother traded happiness for money.
As Belinda entered adolescence, the atmosphere in her house changed for the worse. They kept less staff in the home. Frank became even more volatile. He had sudden bouts of anger that would come from nowhere. He was constantly accusing Jacequeline of hiding money or taking money that was his. Belinda figured his business was struggling. When her grandfather passed away, they made fewer trips to Philadelphia, to see the rest of her extended family. Her mother seemed tense all the time, and withdrawn.
Belinda never knew the Roberts side of the family. When she asked about them, Jacequeline would tell her that Evan’s family had disowned him when he joined the Navy, and cut them all out of their lives. Belinda grew up feeling out of place, and unwanted. Her step-father didn’t want her. Her mother was always trying to hide her away from him. Her biological father’s family didn’t want any of them. The only place she ever felt wanted was in Philadelphia. She could barely remember her grandfather, but she remembered how much she loved him, and how much he seemed to love her.
Her grandmother Caroline had been sick all of Belinda’s life. Belinda would see her, and try to talk to her, but Caroline never seemed to notice she was there. Everybody always said she looked just like Caroline, but taller. She had inherited Caroline’s wavy light brown hair, but Evan’s dark brown eyes. Belinda had seen pictures of Caroline when she was younger, and other than the eyes, they could have been twins. Her aunt Dottie would tell her stories of when she and Grandma Caroline were little girls, and the trouble they would get into. Uncle Raymond was a short round red-headed man, but he had a big heart. He would call Belinda his little helper, and take her around the building having her hand him tools and paint brushes when he was doing maintenance.
Her uncle Brian was like the dad she never had. During visits to Philly Brian would take her to the playground and push her on the swings and on the merry-go-round. She called him her uncle, but he was no relation. He had been a friend of Evan and Jacequeline’s. Belinda used to wish that Jacequeline and Brian would get married and he would become her daddy. But he married Jacequeline’s friend Audrey instead. Audrey and Jacequeline had grown up together, and had been best friends since childhood. Belinda used to really like Audrey, but she got angry with her when she started seeing Brian, and they got married. Jacequeline had asked Belinda if she would rather go to Audrey and Brian’s wedding instead of camp, but Belinda refused. She didn’t go to Audrey’s baby shower either. Belinda had only been to Philadelphia a few times after Audrey and Brian’s twins were born, and seeing them as a happy family, only upset her more. If Brian had married Jacequeline instead of Audrey, then she would have had a happy family life.
September 1985
“Belinda, I do not know what has gotten into you, but I will not have you being disrespectful to me or Frank in our home.” Jacequeline had said to her that morning before Belinda left for school. Belinda couldn’t even remember what she had said to get her mother yelling at her, but she didn’t even really care. Belinda had bigger problems. She left the house and walked into the drug store. She waited until the pharmacist was talking with another customer, before she stuck the pregnancy test into her bag. She walked to the front of the store, picked up a chocolate bar, and paid for it at the cash register.
She walked down the street to a gas station and asked for the key to the restroom, which was located on the back side of the building, with the entrance to the outside. She went into the single stall restroom, and locked the door. Belinda turned her nose up at the smell, and the filth in the bathroom. She placed her bag on the sink and dug the pregnancy test out. The directions said she had to p*e in a little cup, use the dropper to drop the p*e onto the tester, and wait 5 minutes to see what it says. “Gross.” She said to herself. She followed the directions carefully. She didn’t want to make a mistake and have it give her an inaccurate result. She stared at the tester for what seemed like an eternity. Two lines appeared after approximately three minutes. She kept staring at it, hoping one of them would disappear, but it didn’t. She read the hand out again, hoping she had miss read what those two lines meant. She hadn’t. She was fifteen years old and pregnant.
Belinda sat down on the lid of the commode, and cried. She was pregnant, and worse it was by him. Panic hit her. He had told her that if she told anyone, that no one would believe her. It was her word against his. Now she had proof, growing inside of her. If he found out she was pregnant, he would definitely kill her, and maybe her mom too. That’s what he had said that night, if anybody found out she would be dead. “I have to go. I have to run. I can’t let him find out that I am pregnant.” She said aloud to herself. She opened the restroom door and p*eked outside. She saw a dumpster nearby, and tossed the pregnancy test inside. She walked back towards her house. She was supposed to be at school, and if she remembered correctly Jacequeline had a charity fund raiser that she was working on all day. Hopefully Frank and her mom had both already left the house.
Belinda opened the front door and asked if anybody was home. When she was younger, they kept household staff, but they had let most of them go a few years ago. They have a cleaning lady that comes 3 days a week now, and she wasn’t due until tomorrow. Belinda ran upstairs and grabbed a duffle bag from her closet and started cramming it full with some of her clothes. She went to her closet to get a couple of pairs of shoes. She saw the lockbox in the bottom corner.
Her mother used to drag it out every once in a while and show her pictures of her biological father. Belinda had seen Jacequeline open the combination on the box enough times that she knew the numbers. She opened the box and looked through the contents. Her original birth certificate and social security card, from before Frank adopted her, were inside the box, as well as pictures, and some other documents. Belinda grabbed all the contents from the box and put them into a side pocket of her duffle bag. She tossed the box back down on her closet floor. She went to her mother’s room, and removed a painting from the wall. Behind it was a wall safe. She had watched Frank open it a few times, and knew he kept cash inside. She opened the safe, and pulled out the stacks of cash. She grabbed her bag and out the front door she went.
She had made it to the outskirts of town before she stopped to rest. She had been walking for miles. “Where am I going?” She said to herself. She weighed her options. If she went to Philadelphia to her family, they would call Jacequeline and she would come get her. Brian and Audrey would call her mom. Her godfather, Cliff lived in California, he might help her, but most likely he would also call her mom. All of them would most likely confront Frank about the pregnancy, and that might put them in danger too. Frank was a scary man. She knew for a fact he had scary friends. One night she had snuck out to meet some of her friends in the park, and she spotted Frank meeting with a couple of bikers, they were yelling at each other. Luckily he didn’t see her, but she watched him from the bushes, he had his trunk open and he picked up a gun from the trunk and showed it to them. She was terrified of him, and what he was capable of if he was backed into a corner.
She sat on the side of the road trying to catch her breath from walking so long. A semi-truck drove by, slowed down, and then stopped. The driver got out and asked if she was okay. “I was just resting.” Belinda told him. “Where are you headed?” He asked her. “Anywhere but here.” She replied. “Hop in, I’ll give you a ride.” The driver said. In the cab, he introduced himself as Dewayne.
At first he seemed real nice, he offered to let her crawl back into the sleeper and take a nap. She told him she was tired and she thought she would take him up on it. As she crawled between the seats to the back, he swatted her on the rear. After she was in the back, he told her to rest up, and when he stopped for the night, he would crawl back there and join her. She was panicking, he was a lot older, overweight, and didn’t smell real nice, and he had plans to cuddle up with her, or worse. She had to get out of here.
In a little while, she heard him on the CB radio, telling some other trucker that he had picked up a pretty young thing, and he might just keep her. Oh yeah, she was going to have to get out of here. About an hour later she felt the rig slowing down, and it felt like he was pulling off of the road. He told her he was stopping for fuel, and asked if she needed anything. She didn’t respond. He pulled the curtain back and p*eked inside, and she pretended to be asleep. He crawled out of the truck. She waited for the cab door to shut and p*eked out from the curtain. She grabbed her bag and hurried up front. She opened the passenger door and was making her way down the steps, when he grabbed her. "Where do you think you are going?" He said to her. "I decided I want to get off here." Belinda replied. "I don’t think so." He said. She attempted to break free of his grasp, and he grabbed her around the waist.
He was trying to shove her back into the cab, with her fighting to get free. "Let her go. Now!" Said a female voice from behind them. Belinda looked and saw a brunette with short hair pump a shot gun, and point it directly at the truck driver. "I won't tell you again. Let her go." She said to him. The driver loosened his grip on Belinda. She grabbed her bag that had fallen to the ground and moved away from the driver. "This is none of your concern." The driver told the woman with the gun. "It certainly is, this is my place. Now, you are going to load up in your rig, and leave. You are not welcome here. If you show your face here again, you won't leave walking." She told him. “I don’t want any trouble.” He said. “Then go.” She replied. The driver went around the cab of his truck and got into the driver's side. He started his truck and pulled off. The lady approached Belinda. "Are you ok?" she asked. "I think so." Belinda replied timidly. "My name is Janice. Do you have a place to go, or family you can call?" She asked. Belinda shook her head no. "Well, come on in then. You’re probably hungry." Janice said. She walked back to her truck and placed her rifle behind the seat, then led Belinda into the truck stop. Once inside, Belinda followed Janice to the back office. Janice told her that she could keep her bag inside the office, and no one would bother it. Belinda looked at her duffle bag. Everything she had left was in that bag. "If it's ok with you, I think I will hang on to it." Belinda told her. "Suit yourself." Janice told her.
She led Belinda back out to the dining room of the diner. She pointed to one of the bar stools in front of the counter. Belinda crawled up on to one. She picked up a menu and started looking through it. She had not realized until now how hungry she was. She ordered a cheeseburger and a vanilla milkshake. Janice took her order and handed the ticket to the cook through the window, and returned to the girl. Janice figured the girl couldn't be more than sixteen years old.
"What is your story?" Janice asked her. "Story?" Belinda asked. "Why was that trucker trying to load you into his truck?" Janice asked. "He picked me up walking, and offered me a ride. He started making me uncomfortable not long before we stopped here. I figured I needed to get out when he stopped for fuel. He did not seem to feel the same way." Belinda replied. "Why were you hitchhiking?" Janice asked. Belinda was silent for a few minutes. She needed to tell this lady something, but she needed to be careful not to give away too much information. "My parents threw me out because I am pregnant. My boyfriend dumped me after I told him, and I was leaving town to get a fresh start." Belinda told her. "Jackass got you pregnant, and wouldn't step up to take care of his child. Some men are pigs. Bless your heart. Your parents threw you out over it?" Janice asked. "They are very old fashioned, and pillars of their community. I would have been an embarrassment. They gave me a little money, and told me to have a nice life." Belinda said. "Do you have a plan, or a place to go?" Janice asked. Belinda shook her head no. "This place stays open 24 hours. There is a break room in the back next to my office. There is a couch in there. There are showers in the main hall between the store and the diner. You can stay here for a few days, until you figure out your next move. If you would like to earn a little extra money, while you are here, I could use another waitress." Janice told her. Belinda smiled at her. "Yes, thank you." She replied.
Belinda sat on her stool eating her burger and fries, watching Janice. She was intrigued by the woman. Janice wasn’t a big woman. She and Belinda were nearly the same height. She seemed to be a little stalkier, or it could be just the way she carried herself. She walked around like she had a purpose, and dared anybody to get in her way. She seemed fearless. She had stood up to the driver, when Belinda had been terrified. Janice yelled at another man sitting at a table in the middle of the restaurant. "Rich, I saw that. That is your shifting hand, if you want to keep it, keep it off my girls." Janice said to the man at the table. "Jan, I can't help it your girls have nice backsides." He replied chuckling. "You better help it. Tell her you're sorry, before I throw your sorry ass out the door." Janice replied, with a very serious look on her face. "Sorry Cassie." Rich said. Cassie returned to the counter. "Jan, you are hurting my tips." Cassie said to her. "This isn’t a gentleman's club. You get tips for being friendly, not letting the guys grab at you. I told you about that, quit shaking your ass at all the drivers when they come through." Janice told her sternly. Janice introduced Cassie to Belinda. Belinda figured Cassie to be about 18. She was pretty. She was dark skinned, black wavy hair that fell just between her shoulder blades. She wore a lot of makeup, and kept the top two buttons on her shirt unbuttoned, slightly revealing her bra. She seemed confident in her appearance. And from what Belinda could tell, Cassie did not mind using her “assets” to gain admiration as well as tips from the men.
Cassie held her hand out towards Belinda. “Cassandra Harvell, but you can call me Cassie. Nice to meet you.” She said. Belinda shook her hand. “Belinda Ba.. Roberts.” Belinda replied, hoping she had recovered quick enough. “Baroberts?” Cassie questioned. “No, just Roberts. I almost stated my middle name as well.” Belinda replied. Cassie raised an eyebrow, like she wasn’t sure she bought that. “What is your middle name?” Cassie asked. “I would rather not say. I don’t really care for it.” Belinda said, all the while trying to think of some unfortunate name incase Cassie insisted.” Belinda said. “Oh come on, how bad could it be?” Cassie probed. “Banita, after my late great-aunt.” Belinda lied. “Belinda Banita? Wow, no wonder you didn’t want to say.” Cassie laughed. Janice asked Cassie to let Belinda shadow her for a couple of days. “Sure, I’ll teach her the ropes.” Cassie said.
Cassie was very outgoing. The first day, Belinda stood back and basically watched Cassie. She would flirt with the customers, and was always very friendly. She would “accidently” lean over too far to pour coffee, allowing some of the male customers a p*ek down her shirt. Cassie realized that Belinda had noticed and pulled her aside. “Men are all the same, all they ever think about is s*x. Women hold the key to that s*x, teasing and flirting makes them think they may have a chance. They tend to be a little more generous with tips if they think they have a chance. Most of our income here comes from tips, so we want to be real friendly.” Cassie said. “Do the men ever expect more?” Belinda asked. “A few will get grabby with you. If Janice sees them, she will run them off. Which is actually good. You don’t want them thinking that they can man handle you for a few dollars. That would definitely have to cost more than tip money.” Cassie said laughing. Belinda looked at her with a shocked look on her face. “Honey, all men pay for s*x, weather it is their wife spending all their paychecks, the expense of taking girls out on dates, or renting a ho**er. All men pay for s*x. All I want is my cut. And I ain’t cheap about it either. I don’t do the lot lizard thing, but I have been known to have a sugar daddy.” Cassie said. “What is a lot lizard?” Belinda asked intrigued. “The hoes working the lot, hooking up with the drivers for money.” Cassie replied. “A prostitute?” Belinda asked. “Yeah, but not as classy.” Cassie replied. And what is a sugar daddy?” Belinda asked “It’s when you date a man that spends a lot of money on you. Maybe he isn’t so great looking, and you might not have looked at him twice, until he bought you a nice shiny bracelet, or a car.” Cassie said. “Sugar daddies are nice, but they tend to not last very long, usually just a few months.” Cassie finished. “Why?” Belinda asked, thinking a sugar daddy didn’t sound so bad, basically just a boyfriend. “Usually, from my experience, because they are married.” Cassie said. “You dated a married man?” Belinda asked with a look of surprise on her face she was unable to conceal. “A few actually, keeps them from wanting to stick around too long. Belinda, I have plans. Someday I will be living in Hollywood, and staring in movies. But those dreams are expensive, and if some nice man wants to help me get there, I am not going to turn it down. Besides, he made the commitments to his wife, not me, and if he wasn’t keeping company with me, he would likely be doing it with somebody else.” Cassie said matter-of-factly. This was a lot for Belinda to take in. “My granny always said, men are all pieces of crap. When it comes to men, just remember the four F’s.” Cassie said. “The four F’s?” Belinda asked. “Find them, fool them, f**k them, and then forget them.” Cassie finished. “Your grandmother told you that?” Belinda asked shocked once again. “Yes, apparently my grandfather was a womanizing, abusive bastard. I wouldn’t know. He disappeared when I was a small child, but she never had a nice thing to say about the pig. She was a good woman, and she had a lot of male friends when I was growing up.” Cassie finished. She was smiling, as though she had made her case. Belinda did not know what to think about all of this, and she didn’t know what to think about Cassie. She had never heard women talk like that before. But she was right about one thing, from Belinda’s experience, all men were pieces of crap, so maybe Cassie was on to something. Belinda wasn’t sure what to make of Cassie. She was blunt, straightforward, and said things that she had never heard ladies say before. But she was real. With Cassie she didn’t hide who she was. She spoke her mind. Said whatever she wanted, and was unapologetic about it. It was refreshing. Belinda grew up with parent’s that, in her opinion, were a couple of fakes. Her mom pretended to be happy in public, and put on a show for the social circles she was involved in. She used make-up to conceal the bruises that Frank put on her face. Frank was the biggest fake of all. He pretended to be some upstanding pillar of the community with the perfect little family. But he was hiding an evil side to him.
That evening, in the break room of the truck stop, curled up on the sofa, Belinda pulled a picture of her real father, Evan Roberts, out of her duffle bag. She never knew him. Her mother had only ever said kind things about him. Jacequeline had told her how brave he was, how he had followed his conscience when he joined the military, even when his family disowned him because of it. Jacequeline had said that Evan was the love of her life, and that he would have loved to have known he had a daughter. “Do men like that really exist, or were you gone before your true colors were exposed?” Belinda asked the picture.
