05/23/2026
Remaining calm with a teenager is a superpower.
If you’re in the thick of raising teenagers, you know they can be so frustrating.
They love to argue about everything. They think they know everything. They want to be treated like adults, but they have no life experience yet.
Sometimes, we get caught in such a bad cycle with our teens that fighting, snarky comments, and door slams ultimately become your standard house language. Teen disrespect becomes the norm, and you wonder if you will ever have a regular conversation with them again.
But here is the thing, and there’s no getting around it: we have to remember that we are the adults, and we have to model the behavior we want to see.
I get it. It’s hard, oh so hard, to stay calm when you are in the midst of teenage tomfoolery. When there are six-foot-tall people who are messy, eat all your food, and then expect you to give them $20 for Starbucks after calling you “Bruh,” finding your Zen in the middle of a battle can be a challenge.
But remaining calm is a superpower, and showing your teen how to keep your cool during conflict, communicate respectfully, and cope in difficult situations is an incredible gift. It also will help them disarm other people who speak to them aggressively or disrespectfully.
Keeping calm also puts us in charge of the rules of engagement and balances the power game. It may infuriate them at first when you don’t engage, but eventually, they will learn that they only get what they want by speaking to you calmly and respectfully.
continued below