The Eggplant FSU

The Eggplant FSU The Eggplant is Florida State University's #1 satirical news source.

The Eggplant was founded in January 2014 by Aubrey Burrough and Houston Barber, on the popular tween website Tumblr dot com. With the dedication and talent of its founders and a few more funny people, the publication has triumphed on in providing for the FSU community. The publication is currently run by a team of 11 extremely hot and talented lizards who do stand up.

FDA refuses to classify the needs for bald people, as the agency is not in the business of declaring what is or isn’t fa...
09/20/2025

FDA refuses to classify the needs for bald people, as the agency is not in the business of declaring what is or isn’t face. In the meantime, officials have announced they’ll be issuing temporary guidelines suggesting bald people just use whatever makes them less sad.

In a shocking twist , an unnamed member of the S7 “Love Island” cast has passed away following the reunion. “Daaaaaamnnn...
08/28/2025

In a shocking twist , an unnamed member of the S7 “Love Island” cast has passed away following the reunion.
“Daaaaaamnnn, that’s crazy type s**t, like genuinely that’s absurd type s**t” said Jeremiah Brown, a cast member of this most recent season.
For more of our articles and content check out our website! -> https://www.eggplantfsu.com

It’s time to officially hard launch our new Co-Editors In Chief, Jack & Chloe! They’ll be at the Involvement Fair tomorr...
08/26/2025

It’s time to officially hard launch our new Co-Editors In Chief, Jack & Chloe! They’ll be at the Involvement Fair tomorrow at the Civic Center from 5-8 PM, so make sure to stop by to ask any questions about our application and learn how YOU can get involved with The Eggplant this fall!!

The Eggplant FSU is officially hiring! Good sense of humor is required, but personal hygiene is optional. Apply through ...
08/18/2025

The Eggplant FSU is officially hiring! Good sense of humor is required, but personal hygiene is optional. Apply through the link in our bio to be part of FSU’s most awesome (and only) satirical news network!!

“All we can confirm for certain is that the victim died“Read articles like this and more on our website www.eggplantfsu....
07/02/2025

“All we can confirm for certain is that the victim died“

Read articles like this and more on our website www.eggplantfsu.com, link in bio!

“The best part of this feature is you can manipulate your friends into being better people. ”Read articles like this and...
04/30/2025

“The best part of this feature is you can manipulate your friends into being better people. ”

Read articles like this and more on our website www.eggplantfsu.com, link in bio

In his defense, how was he supposed to know that asking “How many holes am I workin’ with?” might cause trouble?Read sto...
04/29/2025

In his defense, how was he supposed to know that asking “How many holes am I workin’ with?” might cause trouble?

Read stories like this and more on our website www.eggplantfsu.com, link in bio!

“You don’t win until you walk into the clinic with something viral, bacterial, or fungal”Check out the article on our we...
04/15/2025

“You don’t win until you walk into the clinic with something viral, bacterial, or fungal”

Check out the article on our website at www.eggplantfsu.com link in bio!

“‘I was between the Harley shirt or a $55 Bud Light T-shirt, and I’m glad I made the choice that I did.’”Read the full a...
04/14/2025

“‘I was between the Harley shirt or a $55 Bud Light T-shirt, and I’m glad I made the choice that I did.’”

Read the full article on our website, eggplantfsu.com!

Show recap 📝📝 Thank you so so much to and all of the FSU comedy orgs for being a part of the last laugh comedy showcase...
04/14/2025

Show recap 📝📝 Thank you so so much to and all of the FSU comedy orgs for being a part of the last laugh comedy showcase!! Happy to always be a part of spreading laughs by bringing our writers room to the stage and some standup from staff. The Eggplant 🫶 U

“It all began when Chad Chadley, a sophomore finance major with a do**he bag minor, answered a video call from his “roo...
04/10/2025

“It all began when Chad Chadley, a sophomore finance major with a do**he bag minor, answered a video call from his “roommate” Brad Bradley.”

Read more articles like this on our website www.eggplantfsu.com link in bio!!

“It goes without saying, but we legally cannot promote the notion that our flights are safe anymore, what they can promo...
04/08/2025

“It goes without saying, but we legally cannot promote the notion that our flights are safe anymore, what they can promote, however, is an enjoyable crash experience, should the opportunity present itself.”

Read articles like this one and more on at www.eggplantfsu.com link in bio!

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