29/12/2025
This is a throwaway because my relatives use reddit. All names are fake. When my brother (M35) Jake went to jail for a short stint, I (m30) was on paper, the best candidate to take care of his son (m7) John. The issue was that I did not have the qualities needed to be a good parent. And even if I did, my brother's son....to put it lightly, was a very difficult child. I eventually caved in to family pressure and manipulation. However, I did NOT agree to take in John unconditionally; I made it clear that I could not do this alone, and extracted promises of support from many relatives. In hindsight, I was incredibly naive. As soon as the ink was dry, my relatives abandoned me. It was by far the most miserable experience of my life. I was in no way equipped to deal with a child, much less one with as many issues as John. All of my pleas for help were at best, ignored. At worst, I was blamed/shamed. While I'd like to believe that I didn't take my resentment/regret out on John, I most certainly did not support his emotional needs. At best, I was a distant caretaker/ATM. And when Jake got out of jail, I couldn't hand John back to my brother fast enough. Yes, I knew that my brother a terrible parent, but so was I, and Jake, at the least, did not regret having John. The issue is that my brother has gotten in trouble with the law.....again. Again, I was nominated for guardianship, but I didn't fall on the same trick twice. I stood my ground and burned many bridges in the process. I've been called heartless, selfish, a monster, and more. I've been told that I have a duty...
