Darts Magazine

Darts Magazine Darts Magazine is a real magazine. Providing in depth analysis into the historic Baseball Darts League of Hoosick Falls NY.

More than simply covering the games, Darts Magazine seeks to promote and expand the existing darts community.

04/24/2025

Well the off season is upon us. It’s down to pick up games and a generalized alcoholism that only true athletes know.
It feels desperate doesn’t it, asking the bartender for those turkey tails? Well it is. Chasing. That’s the addicts game. Chasing. Never catching. Just that final inning waiting for you at the end. In life there is no 10th, you just gotta leave it on the boards. Much like your average it all trends downward until you got nothing but the things you’ve forsaken.
Feels like some days I’m facing the wrong way, back to the board and firing these darts into nothing at all. Call em where they lie brother and pick me up if you ever can.
This is Darts Magazine. A cautionary tale. 🎯

03/18/2025

It’s Election Day in Hoosick Falls and Darts Magazine is here to provide the latest and most devastating scandal of this tense local election.
No stranger to controversy, Darts Magazine is AGHAST at the disgraceful way these candidates have yet to address the most pressing issue our fair town faces.

What are you doing for our darts?!?

Are we just supposed to assume these candidates will lead our town to a new age of Dart League glory when THEY HAVEN’T EVEN MENTIONED IT ONCE?!?

So when you go to the polls today good citizens of these hallowed falls, keep in mind who would give you a team point on a wire dart, who would pick you up after an X, who would lift you to the rafters after that bird and who know when to dole out the rally shots.

That’s right, there is only one name you can think of when it comes to having your back on the boards…. and that name is Darts Magazine.

Write in Darts Magazine for your Mayoral vote and send a message….. to wherever the town office is…. that you are DONE with business as usual and you need a Magazine to get in there and really shake things up!

Darts Magazine, it’s an American tradition.
🇺🇸🎯

This is the end, again. Why not then begin again. This is Darts Magazine. The first round of playoffs are in the books a...
03/12/2025

This is the end, again.
Why not then begin again.

This is Darts Magazine.

The first round of playoffs are in the books and many of the shooters may still be in their beds or couches where they slouched off to sleep at some ungodly hour this morning.
Two teams won and get to fight on for the glory of a Championship, and they should be heralded because everyone wants to win, but there is more to be learned in losing.

Here’s to the losers.

The failures.

Just like their darts that fell short of the mark, those who are low and outside, on the wrong side of the wire.

Shake it off kid.
You tried.

You lost.
You’ll get em next time.
This is just a game.

It’s just your pride that’s hurting.
You’re alright.

The litany of these reassurances feel like a prayer, like forgiveness, like the grace you can only give yourself.

Next week there will be two more winners and two more losers and then one will remain and then they will be a memory, another name in the long history of our league.

There will be less to say for those who say it themselves.

Those glorious bastards need no bard or barooom poet to sing their song.
They need no embellishment.

For the broken, for the beaten… you have Darts Magazine to wallow in.

I know it’s not what you wanted, but you just have to take what you get.

🎯

12/17/2024

Here we are on the edge of the brink. The end of the rope. The first half of the season swirling in the drain like the last dregs of the bottle. Where has the time gone? How fast a year can run away. Where youth has marked it’s passage fresh with the highlights and holidays, celebrations and mournings, age chews it like cud, remembering more what was lost than gained and the bitterness it leaves in your mouth, along the new wrinkles on your face where the years take their aim. Time never misses. It takes you with it. Hardens you along it’s weary path, leading you astray in every step. When does wisdom arrive at last? Maybe through that pain is where we truly learn. Not just what to avoid or how to be better, but simply enough that it hurts. It all leaves a mark on you. There is no refuge or escape but to continue on. Hopeless even. Yet ever onward. Stumbling along the path you wrecklessly ran in days before, in the spring of your life. Winter now and the roads are slippery. Take care. Take what courage you have left and set it as your guide. These nights are full of light but you can lose your way just as easily as a man throws his last cigarette away. Careless. Forgetting. Vulgarly at last. Yet perhaps he has a chance yet at redemption. Against the odds. The underdog. Onward. The last night before the break. May you take that chance and find what you have lost along the way. For that hope I have for you I hold doubly for myself. To meet the man I left behind and walk with him again for as long as our feet can carry our weight together.

Tonight our nation gathers to make a momentous decision… we shooting whiskey or tequila? That’s right citizens it’s frea...
11/05/2024

Tonight our nation gathers to make a momentous decision… we shooting whiskey or tequila?
That’s right citizens it’s freaking Dart Night!
Don’t care who you voted for, if you did at all or if you’re a convicted felon! Actually, that probably is a good story, what did they get you for man?
Tonight we rally under that more immediate flag of where you like to drink and we salute our chosen bar with our hearts full of patriotism and our guts full of cheap beer!
May your turkey tails soar as eagles in the night!
Have fun everyone and don’t forget to dart!

🎯🇺🇸

10/29/2024

The morning dawns in darkness, your eyes adjust to the world outside the dream or nightmare you’ve been running through all night and past the curtainless window you glimpse the last star in the sky still shining like a memory of yesterday gone…
and you feel it all through you, the life force return and you know…
it’s Dart Night.

Gather up now your men merry or sullen, we’ll take any who answer the call to shoot long towards that imaginary time they call tomorrow.

Tonight we topple giants.
Tonight we fill the dimly lit rooms of drink and sorrow with our shouts and cries to defy all that we would be denied.
Victory.
Glory.
A moment of immortality.

May your darts be true, and your lies be white and the night be full of our songs tonight.

🎯

10/24/2024

Week one has come and gone and I’m just about sobered up. Time to report the feeling of it all…
Who wins and loses I’ll leave to the accountants. Darts Magazine has always been committed to the muddier water, the grand gesture, the things you’d forget, the scar you trace your fingers against.
The animal in me remembers. That taste of blood in your mouth, the belonging to the pack. This is where I feel best. Among wolves like you.
How free it felt to run across that board among the beautiful, grinning bastards that howl all through a Tuesday night!
Animals all.
Onward now towards the end of March, like a long migration that takes you North into the colder places, the darker spaces of the heart. Hold your dart like a torch there friend!
Take heart and if you hands enough to hold, take two!
You must make your own light there.
And let it burn all orange and red!
Red as your blood and light as the sun!
For it will guide you along the narrow paths you walk.
Be well, take care and I’ll see you there in the neon jungles of dart night.

🎯

10/22/2024

Good morning shooters, this is Darts Magazine reporting again from the dark heart of man on the cusp of a new season of the Hoosick Falls Dart League.
As I begin this ill fated publication once again I linger on the word above, “season”.
Here it is late October and the sun is shining saying the last phrases it knows of September, but believe the crisp morning air and the dark umber of the autumn leaves, change is in the air.
And how many changes there can be in a season.
Change. Another echo in that word.
Make one change and everything changes. Are you prepared to change everything you know and watch as the ripple takes hold and the world you knew is suddenly different and fresh as a cut against your skin?
Take heart friend, few are.
To the bold though it is another jump of the fence, another adventure to embark on, a change of the season, a change of the soul, a seeking to all that would make you feel whole.

Oscar Wilde once wrote, “Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”

So we don our masks of bravado and glory again to face each other in the long nights to come in games of skill and chance and brutish will.

Yet there are many games being played beyond the arch of the shooters arc, and I know more than the blank page before me could bear.

Many of you are mere pawns in the game that is being played above you and power never yields more than it can gain from the move of your puppet strings.
So dance tonight dear puppets and put on your bleary show for those who you make your master.
Who do you shoot for and why?
Answers are often vague and full of lies.
But not the question or the reason.
Reflect in yourself and find peace or regret as you will.
Good luck tonight puppet, good night.

🎯

03/20/2024

Shoot the Bull wins it all. Ran through them all with a laser of darts that could not be stopped. There were moments. Potential. They left it open in the second game and they faltered, stumbled, reached for the glory short. To win is to make someone a loser, a pretender, a wannabe to be the greatest. It’s all over now folks. Another season in the lore of it all. Another year to till. Add to the regrowth. Next year we mutter…. next year is our year.
So it begins again.
The circle of it all.
Returning to the flow.

Now we are born again.

Goodnight dear darts goodnight goodnight.

😴🎯

03/20/2024

Shoot the Bull adds another playoff win to the post season stack. A reporter is “supposed” to remain nuetral, but we all know that’s a line of bull. There are no referees in the fields of thought and word. There is only influence.
I hope Armed and Hammered can take this next one. Make it interesting. Bring a little fight to these guys. David and Goliath. I just can’t help but to root for the underdogs. A scrappy bunch of weirdos punching above their weight. I can relate to that. To the story of it. What it tells of yourself. Your own struggle.

Darts Magazine, a true man of the people. ✊

03/19/2024

The life of a Darts Magazine reporter might seem like one of decadence and debauchery…. and you’re right to assume that, but what most people overlook is the long moments. The waiting. The drudgery of waiting around for it all to happen. Half spectator, half spectacle… the dart reporter exists in the liminal space between the numbers. A non linear participant charged with the terrible responsibility of the observer. Helpless to change the odds or favor of the Gods. I am his pen not his sword. I am the words writ large above the grandeur and yet translucent amongst it’s aura. Yes. Much to ponder on a Tuesday. Stay tuned.

This is Darts Magazine. ✨

03/19/2024

A day late and a darter short Darts Magazine arrives on the sand carpet for a night of darts like no other. It’s the last one. Thank God. We’ll see who comes out on top with the hottest championship in Hoosick Falls. The Golden Dart lays in the distance. All I know is I’m here and the beer is flowing. That leads to great reporting.

This is Darts Magazine. Yeah, we’re still a thing. 🎯

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