01/02/2024
Happy new year folks! Courtney here and I have something to say. Iāve been working on accepting 2024 with open arms, as 2020-2023 has been an entire dumpster fire for me personally. On top of mental health issues, reliving my own traumas, and the continuous heartbreak Iāve allowed to live rent free in my space, we have confirmed that change will be the best thing for us. Itās been a very painful 3 year season for me personally, even before the pod, and Iām just setting it on fire and making space for something new: Over the past few months, Iāve personally been experiencing a shift in myself that I canāt really explain. Itās not at all a bad thing, but my eyes are opening and Iām starting to see the truth in things. I have had a hard time admitting when I need to just take a breather, because I was raised to never quit and grit my teeth through the pain and keep going. What I havenāt been doing, however, is recognizing that I never properly healed. So as hard as I work, itās not efficient because Iām holding myself back and not allowing healing to take place. I believe itās said that no matter how fast you run, you still have to rest your bones and joints so that you can finish the race on your a-game. Something like that. I have a passion for what I do and my heart is with every family member and victim that we have covered, but my heart hasnāt been all in because I have been too hyperfocused on the wrong things. With this being said, and I certainly canāt speak for Amanda because she is her own person⦠but itās time to take a short, unplanned-ish hiatus. Iām seeing the trajectory of this podcast go somewhere Iām not cool with and I canāt let that happen. We will be spending this much needed time healing, interviewing family members, organizing and essentially revamping. The episodes for season 7, while fresh and new, may sound different, but we are going to be working on healing ourselves and transforming the podcast right along with us. We are giving ourselves a clean slate to work with and Iām accepting it for once. I appreciate you all for hanging in there with us, and we look forward to what this year will bring. Out with the old, in with the new. BB.