Street Talk America

11/25/2025

My 4-year-old nephew, Timmy, wanted to caddy for my brother’s golf game. “You have to count my strokes,” my brother told him. “How much is six plus nine plus eight?” “Five,” answered Timmy. “Okay,” my brother said, “let’s go.”

11/24/2025

11/21/2025

The preacher’s Sunday sermon was “Forgive Your Enemies.” He asked how many of the congregation have forgiven their enemies? About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80% held up their hands. He then repeated his question once more. All responded, except one elderly lady.“Mrs. Johnson, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?” “I don’t have any.” “Mrs. Johnson that is very unusual. How old are you?” “Ninety-three,” she replied. “Mrs. Johnson, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a person cannot have an enemy in the world?” The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle and said, “I outlived every one of those old hags!”

11/20/2025

Girl Math... My mom got mad at my dad the other day so she went shopping to relieve her irritation. When she returned home she informed him that she had purchased ten new dresses. “Ten!” he hollered, “What could any woman want with ten new dresses?” My mom calmly replied, “Ten new pairs of shoes.”

11/15/2025

Please join us as we remember your loved one this holiday season. All are welcome to attend, please contact us for more information 🩵🕯

11/12/2025

This an interactive joke, so have a piece of paper and pen handy. A blonde woman walks into an auto parts store and the parts man asks how she is doing and what can he do for her. She replies, “Fine, I need a seven-ten cap for my car.” The man asks,” A seven-ten cap? Where does it go, I’ve never heard of such a thing?” The blonde angrily replies, “It goes on top of the engine and don’t think just because I’m blonde I don’t know what I’m talking about!!” Perplexed, the parts man asks if she would draw him a picture and maybe help him out in figuring out what it is she needs. Reader: Draw the number 710 in the middle of the paper and draw a circle around the whole number. Now turn the paper upside down.

11/11/2025

David had been extremely anxious for years. It got to the point where his compulsive worrying was ruining his life, so he went to a psychiatrist, who recommended that David hire a professional worrier. After he’d been working with the specialist for a few months, David’s friend John noticed a change. “What happened?” John asked. “You don’t worry about anything anymore.” “I hired a professional worrier!” David answered. “That must cost a fortune,” John said. “Yes, he charges $3,000 a month,” David said sheepishly. “Three thousand dollars! How can you ever afford to pay him?” John exclaimed. “I don’t know,” David said. “That’s his problem.”

11/10/2025

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes.
But the plural of ox is oxen, not “oxes.”
Then one fowl’s a goose, but two are called “geese.”
Yet the plural of moose should never be “meese.”
You may find a mouse, or a nest of mice.
Yet the plural of house is houses, not “hice.”
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called “pen”?
If I spoke of my foot and showed you my feet,
Then I gave you a boot, would a pair be a “beet”?
If one is tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called “beeth”?
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother we never say “methren.”
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, “shis” and “shim.”
So English, I fancy, you will agree,
Is the craziest language you ever did see.

11/07/2025

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?” “Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub.” “Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.” “No” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

11/07/2025