Street Talk America

09/23/2025

Every time I get a headache I take 2 Ibuprofen and keep away from my children...Just like the bottle says.

09/23/2025

Linda was sprawled on the living-room couch watching her favorite show on the Food Network when her husband walked in. “Why do you watch those food shows?” he asked. “You don’t even cook.” Glaring back at him, she asked, “Then why do you watch football?”

09/22/2025

Blanche: Herb, if you don’t stop snoring, I’m going to toss you out on your ear!
Herb: Does it upset you that much?
Blanche: Not just me, the entire congregation.

09/19/2025

After weeks of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, the unhappy husband finally confronted her, “Admit it, Lauren. The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me $10 million.” “Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied. “I don’t care who left it to you.”

09/18/2025

09/18/2025

I am a first-grade teacher and a new empty-nester. One night I was trying out an art project: making a person with simple materials. I took a coat hanger, attached a paper-plate face, put a shirt on the hanger, and stuffed it. Then I set it on the couch to see how it looked.
Later that evening, my son walked through the door, home for a surprise visit. Taking one look at my coat-hanger friend sitting on the couch, he said, “Mom, it’s not that bad, is it?”

09/17/2025

Susie: My husband is a great handyman. He can repair almost anything.
Jane: My mother always taught me to beware of the man that can fix everything. You’ll never get anything new.

09/17/2025

09/16/2025

I was struggling to get my wife’s attention? So I simply sat down and looked comfortable. That did the trick.

09/16/2025

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, “Mom, why are wedding dresses white?” The mother looks at her son and replies, “Son, this shows the town that your bride has never been married before.” The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, “Dad, why are wedding dresses white?” The father looks at his son in surprise and says, “Son, all household appliances come in white.” (Then the mother wacked the father over the head with a frying pan!)

09/15/2025

A bunch of pastors were sitting around the office playing poker. “I win!” said Pastor John, at which point Hendricks threw down his cards. “That’s it! I’ve had it! John is cheating!” “How can you tell?” Tommy asked. “Those aren’t the cards I dealt him!”

09/12/2025

Manker and his wife Mable spent the afternoon at the local zoo. When they got to the hippopotamus cage, he remarked “That’s a big dadgum fish ain’t it, ma?” “That ain’t no fish,” Mable announced. “That’s a reptile.” It was then the argument began. It progressed to a point of such violence that Mable began smacking Manker with her umbrella. Manker then dodged and ran, with Mable in pursuit. The trainer had just opened the door of the lions’ cage, and Manker ran in. He crouched behind the largest lion and peered over its shoulder fearfully at his wife, Mable, who, was on the other side of the bars. She shook her umbrella furiously and shouted, “Coward!”