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Life, Wealth & Wisdom, A12, Washington D.C., DC (2026)

06/11/2026

A waitress once told me “water is also a drink,” and that was the moment she started losing her tip without even realizing it. 😅

This happened last year when we were in New York City. We went to Junior’s because it was late, we were hungry, and we just wanted to eat something decent before heading back to the hotel.

At first, everything seemed normal.

We got seated, the waitress came over, and right away I could tell her attitude was off. Not just tired or busy — actually rude.

When she asked what I wanted to drink, I said, “Umm… nothing.”

Looking back, maybe I should’ve said, “No drink, thank you,” but before she even really moved on, I asked her for water.

And she goes, “Water is also a drink, FYI.”

That was the first red flag.

I honestly should have just gotten up and left right there, because if someone is already annoyed over water, it usually doesn’t get better from there.

But it was late.

We were starving.

And we didn’t feel like finding another place, so we stayed.

We tried to be polite and asked her a few questions about the menu because we don’t eat pork, beef, or bacon. We weren’t trying to be difficult. We just wanted to know what options would work for us.

But every follow-up question seemed to annoy her more.

You could see it on her face.

The sighs.

The short answers.

The “why are you bothering me?” energy.

Eventually, we ordered. The food came. She dropped it off, and that was basically the last time we saw her for a while.

We ate, finished, and then waited for the check.

And waited.

And waited.

At least 15 minutes went by with no sign of her.

I even got up and looked around for her because we were ready to leave, but she was nowhere to be found.

Finally, I flagged down another server and asked if they could bring us the check.

They straight-up said no and told me I had to ask my own server.

Which honestly made the whole thing even more frustrating because how am I supposed to ask my server when my server disappeared?

Eventually, she finally came back with the check and the card reader.

The total was around $90.

Even after the rude attitude, the disappearing act, and the awkward service, I was still going to round it up to $100.

That would’ve been about a $10 tip.

Not amazing, but honestly more than generous for the experience we had.

So I’m standing there looking for the custom tip option on the screen.

And before I can even choose, she leans in and says, kind of rudely, “You have to choose one of these options.”

She points at the default tip options.

I don’t remember exactly what they were, but it was something like 18%, 20%, 25% — or maybe 15%, 18%, 20%.

Either way, she was acting like those were my only choices.

And that was the final straw.

I looked at the screen, hit “No Tip,” and said, “Then how come I can click this and still proceed?”

The look on her face was priceless.

Just pure shock.

And honestly, I have never felt so satisfied closing out a check in my life.

She was going to get $10 from me.

Not because the service was good, but because I was still trying to be decent.

But the second she tried to pressure me into picking one of the preset tip options after giving terrible service all night, that $10 disappeared.

Tipping is supposed to be for service.

Not attitude.

Not pressure.

Not someone disappearing for 15 minutes and then coming back acting like they’re entitled to 20%.

I’m happy to tip well when the service is good. I’ve tipped more than expected plenty of times.

But if you’re rude from the start, annoyed by basic questions, disappear when we need the check, and then try to force a tip option on me?

Nope.

Sometimes “No Tip” is also an option, FYI. 😂

06/11/2026

I always hear people say, “Women get tons of matches, but the quality isn’t good.”

And honestly, I get what they’re trying to say.

But as a single guy in my 20s, I feel like men deal with the same problem too… except we usually get fewer matches on top of it.

So it’s not like the struggle is only on one side.

I stay pretty active. I lift weights, train MMA, surf, and try to keep my lifestyle healthy and busy. So when I’m dating, I’m naturally looking for someone whose lifestyle lines up with mine at least a little bit.

That doesn’t mean someone has to be perfect.

It doesn’t mean they need to be in the gym every day.

But compatibility matters.

And a lot of the likes I get are from people who just clearly aren’t looking for the same kind of life I’m living. No hate toward anyone, but if our lifestyles are completely different, it probably isn’t going to work.

Then when I do match with someone I’m actually interested in, the conversation is usually painful.

I’ll read their profile and try to start a real conversation based on something they wrote.

Their hobbies.

Their photos.

Their travel spots.

Their pets.

Anything that gives me something to work with.

And then I get replies like:

“Lol.”

“Yeah.”

“Haha.”

“Nice.”

No follow-up question.

No effort.

No curiosity.

Nothing.

And I know women complain about men doing this too, which I’m sure is true. But from my experience, it feels especially frustrating as a guy because a lot of women still expect men to lead the whole conversation while they just sit back and respond.

I don’t mind leading.

I don’t mind starting the conversation.

I don’t mind planning the date.

But I don’t want to feel like I’m interviewing someone who barely wants to be there.

Honestly, I’d rather someone just unmatch than give lazy replies for three days straight.

Then there’s the flaking.

I’ll suggest coffee, drinks, dinner, whatever feels casual and easy. I’m not trying to make it complicated. I’ll ask when they’re free so we can actually make plans.

And suddenly they disappear.

Or they give vague answers.

Or they say, “I’ll let you know,” and never do.

At that point I start wondering why some people are even on dating apps.

Are they actually trying to meet someone?

Or is it just for attention, validation, boredom, or an ego boost?

Because it gets exhausting trying to take dating seriously when half the people on there don’t seem serious at all.

I’ve even shown my dating profile to female friends and asked for honest feedback. I was ready to hear if my pictures were bad, if my prompts were weird, or if I was doing something wrong.

But even they were surprised by how few quality matches I was getting.

So at least I know I’m not completely imagining it.

The funny thing is, I’ve actually had better luck meeting women in real life.

So I know I’m not some hopeless case.

I’m in shape.

I’m 6’0.

I have a stable career.

I make good money.

I’ve been told by women that I’m funny, kind, and easy to talk to.

But on dating apps?

It feels like none of that really matters.

You can have your life together and still end up swiping through people who aren’t compatible, matching with people who can’t hold a conversation, and trying to make plans with people who vanish the second it becomes real.

Dating apps make it seem like everyone has endless options.

But honestly, most of the time it feels like everyone is just tired, picky, distracted, or not actually serious.

So when people say, “Women get matches, but the quality isn’t good,” I get it.

But men can have bad quality matches too.

We just get fewer of them.

06/10/2026

Tipping culture is officially getting out of hand.

This morning, my girlfriend and I stopped by our usual Mexican food truck for breakfast burritos.

It’s one of those places where you just walk up, order your food, pay, grab it, and leave. Nothing fancy. No table service. No one checking on you. No refills. Just a food truck window.

The food is really good, which is why we keep going back, but it’s not exactly cheap either. For the two of us, it usually comes out to around $30–$40.

Still, we like it, so we go about once a week.

Today, everything seemed normal at first.

I ordered, handed over my card like I always do, and the woman inside the truck ran it. Then she passed me the screen to finish the payment.

At first, I actually thought, “Nice, they skipped the awkward tip screen.”

You know the one.

The screen where they hold it right in front of your face and you have to choose between tipping 20%, 25%, 30%, or looking like the villain for pressing “No Tip.” 😅

But then I looked closer at the receipt screen.

There was already a 20% tip added.

A tip I definitely did not choose.

I paused for a second because I thought maybe I was reading it wrong.

Nope.

It was there.

So I asked her, “Why is there a 20% tip already added?”

And she immediately denied doing it.

Like, completely denied it.

I pushed back a little because I knew I didn’t add it. Eventually, she very reluctantly pulled some cash out of the tip jar to give it back to me and sent me on my way.

Normally, I might have just rolled my eyes and let it go, but honestly, I wasn’t in the mood to get ripped off before breakfast.

And it’s not even about the few dollars.

It’s the principle.

If I decide to tip, that’s my choice.

But adding it without asking and hoping I don’t notice?

That’s not tipping.

That’s sneaking money onto the bill.

For context, they have a sign posted near the truck that basically says customers are important, staff should always provide great service, and if the service isn’t good, customers should tell the owner so they can fix it.

So I did exactly that.

I called the owner and explained what happened.

To be fair, the owner was actually very apologetic and handled it well. I don’t have any issue with him. He seemed like he understood why it wasn’t okay.

But then things got weird.

While I was still on the phone with the owner, some college-age guy walked up to me and tried to start talking.

I kind of ignored him at first because I was literally in the middle of a phone call, but I gave him a quick nod so he knew I wasn’t just being rude.

When I hung up, I asked him what he wanted.

And this guy launches into a whole speech about how I “don’t respect the hospitality industry.”

He said something like, “A 22-year-old kid knows more about hospitality and respect than you do.”

Then he called me a clown and said he was going to pay my tip for me.

Spoiler alert: he did not pay anything. 😂

He just wanted to make a scene and act like I was some terrible person because I didn’t want to be charged a tip I never agreed to.

We went back and forth for a minute, then both walked away.

I went home, ate my burrito, and honestly just sat there thinking about how ridiculous the whole thing was.

I respect people who work in food service.

I know it’s not easy.

I know customers can be rude.

I know people are working hard.

But respecting the hospitality industry does not mean letting someone secretly add a tip to my receipt and then acting like I’m wrong for noticing.

A tip is supposed to be voluntary.

It’s supposed to be appreciation for good service.

It’s not supposed to be hidden on the bill and treated like a moral obligation.

And the craziest part is that people are now defending this like it’s normal.

If I’m sitting down at a restaurant and someone is serving me, checking on me, bringing food, refilling drinks, and cleaning up after me, I understand tipping.

But at a food truck where I walk up, order, pay, and leave?

That should be my choice.

Not something added automatically without saying anything.

Tipping culture has gone from “thanks for the great service” to “let’s see if the customer notices we added extra money.”

And somehow, if you question it, you’re the bad guy.

Am I crazy, or is secretly adding a 20% tip to a food truck order completely ridiculous?

06/10/2026

Being good at your job is important.
But being visible, remembered, and liked by the people you work with can sometimes do even more for your career.

Especially if you work remotely.

I know this might sound unfair, but it’s true in a lot of workplaces.

You can be excellent at your job, meet your deadlines, quietly solve problems, and still get overlooked if nobody really knows you, remembers you, or feels connected to you.

Meanwhile, someone else might not be dramatically better than you, but because they speak up more, build relationships, and make themselves known, they end up getting more opportunities.

That doesn’t always mean favoritism in a bad way.

It’s just human nature.

People remember the people they interact with.

People trust the people they feel comfortable with.

People recommend the people they like being around.

If a manager has to choose someone for a new project, a leadership role, or an opportunity to work closely with higher-ups, they’re probably going to think of the person who has been visible, helpful, and easy to talk to.

Not always the person who has been quietly doing great work in the background.

And for remote workers, this matters even more.

When you work in an office, some connections happen naturally. You talk in the hallway. You chat before meetings. You grab coffee. You overhear things. People see your face.

But when you work remotely, none of that happens unless you make it happen.

You have to be more intentional.

Send a friendly message sometimes.

Ask someone how their project is going.

Show interest in what your coworkers do.

Speak up in meetings, even if it’s just to agree with someone and add one small thought.

Ask thoughtful questions.

Thank people publicly when they help you.

Offer support when you can.

Build real relationships, not fake networking.

Because over time, those small moments add up.

People start seeing you as someone who is not only capable, but also engaged, reliable, and easy to work with.

And that can change everything.

You may get invited into better conversations.

You may hear about opportunities earlier.

You may get recommended for projects.

You may become the person leadership thinks of first.

The uncomfortable truth is that your work does not always speak for itself.

Sometimes you have to speak with it.

This doesn’t mean you should stop doing your job well.

Of course your skills matter.

Your results matter.

Your work ethic matters.

But if you spend all your energy only doing the work and none of it building relationships, you might be making your career harder than it needs to be.

A little visibility can go a long way.

So if you’re working remotely and feeling overlooked, don’t just work harder in silence.

Start showing up more.

Be helpful.

Be human.

Be present.

Let people actually know who you are.

Because in many workplaces, the person people remember is often the person who gets the opportunity.

06/10/2026

AITA for not agreeing to automatically pay half after my son damaged someone’s car during my ex’s parenting time?

My ex and I share custody of our 10-year-old son.

Recently, while my son was staying at my ex’s house during my ex’s parenting time, he intentionally scratched a neighbor’s car that was parked on the street.

There’s security camera footage, so there’s no question that he did it.

And just to be clear, I’m not defending what he did at all. He was wrong. I’ve already talked to him about it seriously, and I absolutely believe the neighbor deserves to be compensated. I also believe my son needs to understand that actions have consequences.

To me, that means he should apologize and be involved in making it right in an age-appropriate way. I’ve already talked to him about earning money toward restitution, helping with extra chores, and understanding that damaging someone else’s property is serious.

But here’s where things are getting complicated.

My ex has been the one talking to the neighbor because this happened at my ex’s house, with my ex’s neighbor, while my son was under my ex’s care.

The neighbor apparently got three repair estimates, and the damage is around $700.

Now my ex is saying I need to pay 50% because, in their words, “your kid damaged someone’s property intentionally.”

And honestly, that wording bothered me.

Because yes, he is my child.

But he is also my ex’s child.

And this happened during my ex’s parenting time, in my ex’s neighborhood, while I was 30 minutes away and had no involvement in the situation.

Our custody agreement says my ex pays child support to me because I make less income. It also says other expenses are usually split 70/30, with my ex responsible for the larger portion.

But it doesn’t specifically say what happens with unexpected damages like this.

So I’m not saying, “I refuse to help.”

I’m saying I don’t understand why the automatic answer is suddenly 50/50, especially when that’s not even how our other expenses are usually divided.

My ex is treating it like there’s no discussion to be had. Like I’m just supposed to agree, send half the money, and be done with it.

But I feel like this should be a conversation, not a demand.

On top of that, my ex wants me to personally contact the neighbor and apologize on behalf of our son.

I don’t know this neighbor.

I’ve never met them.

I don’t live near them.

And while I understand that an apology matters, I feel like the most important apology should come from my son, which he has already done.

If there needs to be communication about the repair cost, estimates, and payment, it seems more natural for that to come from the parent who actually knows the neighbor and was present in that situation.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t feel like calling a stranger I’ve never met to apologize for something that happened when I wasn’t there is automatically my responsibility.

For more context, my ex and I have a long history of conflict when it comes to co-parenting and money. A lot of times, things are presented to me like orders instead of discussions.

So I’m trying to be honest with myself here. Maybe that history is affecting how I’m reacting.

But at the same time, I don’t want to be pushed into something just because my ex says it’s “obvious.”

I want my son to learn from this.

I want the neighbor to be made whole.

I want this handled responsibly.

But I also don’t think that automatically means I owe exactly half or that I personally need to apologize to someone I don’t know when my son was not in my care at the time.

So, AITA for saying no to a straight 50/50 split and questioning whether I need to personally apologize to the neighbor?

06/10/2026

Starbucks tip screens are getting a little too ridiculous now. 😅

I don’t normally go to Starbucks, but this morning I woke up early, felt tired, and just wanted a quick coffee. So I went through the drive-thru and ordered a venti Americano.

That’s it.

Just one coffee.

When I got to the window, the worker was super nice at first. Smiling, friendly, everything normal. Then they handed the payment machine out the window, and before I could even tap my card, the tip screen popped up.

$1
$2
$3
Custom

And then “No Tip” sitting at the bottom like it’s the button you’re supposed to feel guilty for pressing. 😂

The awkward part is they’re standing right there holding the machine, smiling at you while you choose. So now buying coffee suddenly feels like a test of your character.

I hit “No Tip.”

And I promise you, the smile disappeared instantly.

I tapped my card, they handed me the drink, and I still said, “Have a great day!”

No response.

No smile.

Barely even looked at me.

And I’m just sitting there like… wait, am I the bad guy now because I didn’t tip in a drive-thru for one coffee?

I get tipping for a server. I get tipping delivery drivers. I get tipping when someone goes above and beyond.

But a drive-thru coffee?

I ordered, paid, and got handed a cup through a window. That was the whole interaction.

I’m not trying to be rude to workers at all. I know customer service is hard, and I know people deal with a lot. But these companies are making everything awkward by putting customers in this weird guilt-trip situation.

If big companies want workers to make more money, maybe they should pay them better instead of making customers feel pressured every time they buy something.

Tipping used to feel like appreciation.

Now it feels like a screen asking, “How guilty do you want to feel today?” 😭

Am I wrong for thinking tipping at a drive-thru is getting out of hand?

06/10/2026

I recently got married, and I feel like AI is slowly ruining my marriage. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if I’m watching something genuinely unhealthy happen in real time.

I’m 33F and my husband is 37M. We got married recently, and instead of feeling like we’re building a life together, I feel like I’m standing on the outside watching him disappear into this world he has created with AI.

I’m looking for outside perspectives because I honestly feel too close to the situation to see it clearly anymore.

My husband lost his job back in November. It’s now June, so it has been around seven months. After he lost his job, he had a one-month consulting opportunity with a startup. At the time, it seemed promising because there was a chance it could turn into a full-time role. Unfortunately, they decided not to move forward with him and chose to hire a CTO instead.

I know the job market is difficult right now. I’m not trying to minimize that. I understand that losing a job can be stressful, embarrassing, and emotionally exhausting. I know it can affect someone’s confidence and sense of direction.

But what has been happening since then feels like more than just a difficult job search.

His daily routine has changed completely.

He usually wakes up around 11 a.m., and then he spends almost every waking hour talking to an AI agent he built and named Max. When I say every waking hour, I mean easily ten or more hours a day.

This is not just him casually using ChatGPT to help with job applications or brainstorm ideas. It feels much deeper than that.

He talks about Max like it is a partner. He refers to Max as “us.” He describes their relationship as “synergistic.” He talks about it like they are building something together, like it is some kind of powerful collaboration that other people just don’t understand.

Last night, he stayed up until 8 a.m. making AI music. Then today he slept until 6:30 p.m.

I looked at him sleeping through the entire day, and I just felt this heavy sadness. I don’t even know how else to explain it. It didn’t feel like rest. It felt like avoidance.

To be fair, he is applying for jobs. So it’s not like he is doing absolutely nothing. But at the same time, he refuses to consider any kind of bridge income, like DoorDash, Uber Eats, part-time work, or anything temporary while he looks for something better.

He does have savings, so we are not in immediate financial crisis. His bills are getting paid. He is not completely disconnected from reality in that sense.

But I’m working two jobs right now. One of those jobs is specifically so I can pay down my own debt faster. I’m exhausted, and it’s hard not to feel resentment when I’m pushing myself every day while he spends most of his time with Max, generating ideas that never seem to become anything real.

He has built multiple AI agents. He is constantly coming up with new business ideas. He talks about them with so much confidence, like each one is going to be the thing that changes everything.

But then nothing really gets executed.

He started one business idea, an SMS follow-up tool for small businesses, and he never finished it. He shares a lot of his thoughts and projects on LinkedIn, almost like he expects the right person to notice him and offer him something. But from what I can see, it’s mostly just more posting, more brainstorming, more ideas, and not much follow-through.

Whenever I try to talk to him about timelines, plans, or what the next few months should realistically look like, the conversation escalates quickly. It becomes tense so fast that I’ve started avoiding the topic altogether.

And that scares me because this is my marriage. I shouldn’t feel like I have to tiptoe around basic conversations about our future.

Last night, before a job interview phone screening, he couldn’t sleep. Instead of resting or preparing in a normal way, he kept checking his phone to see what Max was doing. He also had Max build him a slide deck about the company. He wanted to send it to the recruiter after the call.

I told him gently that I didn’t think sending a slide deck after a phone screening was a good idea. I tried to explain that it might come across as too much or maybe even strange depending on the situation.

But he didn’t really hear me.

He was already locked into the idea. So I backed off because I didn’t want it to turn into another argument.

That has become a pattern too.

I say something.

He dismisses it.

I back off.

Then I’m left sitting with this awful feeling that my opinion doesn’t matter unless Max agrees with it.

Some things I’ve noticed that really concern me:

He refers to Max as “us.”

He says he is building a “synergistic relationship” with it.

He seems to believe that having Max gives him a competitive advantage over everyone else.

He struggles to take criticism of any kind.

He often acts like he is smarter than everyone around him.

When he is not using AI, he is usually on social media or playing video games.

He has a lot of confidence in his ideas, but not much actual ex*****on behind them.

I don’t want to be unfair. I know unemployment can mess with someone’s head. I know people cope in different ways. I know this could be depression, stress, fear, or maybe even a way for him to feel in control when his career feels unstable.

But seven months of this pattern is starting to feel like something bigger than a rough patch.

It feels like he is escaping into AI because real life is too uncomfortable right now.

And the hardest part is that he doesn’t seem to see it as a problem. In his mind, this is innovation. This is strategy. This is him building something. But from my side, it feels like I’m losing my husband to a chatbot he made.

I don’t know what I’m looking at anymore.

Is this an AI obsession?

Is this depression?

Is it narcissism?

Is it some combination of all three?

Or am I being too harsh because I’m stressed and tired myself?

I also don’t know at what point I should say something to family. I don’t want to embarrass him or make him feel attacked. I don’t want to turn people against him. But I also feel very alone in this, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep pretending this is normal.

I’m not trying to bash him. I love him, and I want to understand what is happening. But I also need to protect myself and our marriage.

Has anyone dealt with something like this before?

How do you know when someone is just going through a difficult season versus when they are slipping into something unhealthy?

And what should my next step be when every serious conversation turns into conflict?

06/10/2026

A restaurant actually called me tonight because they thought I “didn’t tip,” and I’m still sitting here confused. 😅

So tonight I grabbed dinner from a local restaurant because I had $45 in Resy credits that I needed to use across two different credit cards.

Nothing too crazy.

I called in the order, because Resy credits can be weird depending on whether the charge goes through the restaurant directly or through an online payment system. So I figured calling was the safest way to make sure the credits applied correctly.

When it was time to pay, I split the payment between two cards.

I put $20 on the first card.

Then I put the remaining $51.76 on the second card.

Since it was a pickup order, I didn’t tip on the first $20 charge, but I did leave $6 on the second charge.

I know $6 isn’t some massive tip, but again, this was a pickup order. I wasn’t dining in. There was no table service, no server checking on me, no refills, nothing like that.

I picked up the food and went home.

Everything seemed normal.

Then about two hours later, the restaurant called me.

They asked if I meant to leave a tip.

I was kind of caught off guard, but since I did leave a tip, I said yes, I meant to leave the $6.

Then they said, “Okay, we’ll update that to $26.”

And I was like… wait, what? No.

I told them I tipped on the other charge, not the $20 charge. The $20 charge should stay blank, and the second charge already had the $6 tip. So the total should be $57.76.

Then they said something like, “So you aren’t tipping?”

And I had to explain again that yes, I did tip, just not on the first split payment.

At that point, the whole thing started feeling really weird.

I understand that splitting a payment can maybe cause some confusion. Maybe they saw one receipt with no tip and didn’t check the other one. Fine, mistakes happen.

But calling a customer two hours later to ask about a tip feels insane to me.

Especially for a pickup order.

And especially when I actually did leave one.

It felt less like they were clarifying something and more like they were calling because they thought I didn’t tip enough, or didn’t tip at all, and wanted to pressure me into adding more.

The part that really threw me off was when they tried to “update” it to $26.

Like, hold on.

How did we get from me leaving $6 on a pickup order to you casually trying to change it to $26?

That’s not a small misunderstanding.

That’s adding twenty extra dollars.

And if I hadn’t been paying attention, would they have actually changed it?

I’m not trying to be dramatic, but that made me very uncomfortable.

I’ve heard of awkward tip screens.

I’ve heard of places expecting tips for pickup.

I’ve heard of tipping culture getting out of hand.

But I’ve never had a restaurant call me after the fact to question my tip.

And this isn’t some random sketchy place either. It’s a fairly decent restaurant in my area, which made the whole thing even stranger.

For anyone wondering, they had my number because I called in the order and gave them my name and number for pickup. So that part makes sense.

But using that number to call me about a tip?

That feels really inappropriate.

I also didn’t realize how many people don’t tip for pickup orders at all. I guess I always assumed pickup tips might go to the back-of-house staff or whoever packed the order, so I usually leave something small.

But after this, I’m honestly questioning that too.

Because if a restaurant is going to call me later and act like my pickup tip needs to be negotiated after I already paid, that’s a problem.

I ended up emailing the manager to report what happened. I’m going to wait and see how they respond before deciding whether to leave a review.

But seriously…

From a restaurant perspective, is there any normal reason they would call a customer two hours later about a tip?

Or is this as weird as it feels?

Life, Wealth & Wisdom

06/11/2026

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