The Buff and Blue Media

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“Image description: Film strips in white and black are rolling over the flyer. The audience is seen behind the lights an...
02/23/2022

“Image description: Film strips in white and black are rolling over the flyer. The audience is seen behind the lights and stage with giant red curtains. Oscar award and camera are right next to glowing texts.

“BTV team is hiring! Email your resume to [email protected] by March 11, 2022! We the Bison Television organization seek highly motivated students who want to create films; the available positions are writers, editors, cinematographers, and film directors.”

11/17/2021

We are currently looking for volunteers! Are you interested? Email us [email protected]!

Please welcome our Buff and Blue Media STUDIO CREW of 2021-2022! P.S. Happy Day of the Dead! Feliz día de los Mu***os!!!...
11/01/2021

Please welcome our Buff and Blue Media STUDIO CREW of 2021-2022!

P.S. Happy Day of the Dead! Feliz día de los Mu***os!!!

https://youtu.be/cmGEirHZmyc

Please welcome our Buff and Blue Media STUDIO CREW of 2021-2022! P.S. Happy Day of the Dead! Feliz día de los Mu***os!!!

We, the Buff and Blue Media are currently hiring new Assistant producers, Writers, Editors, and Film Directors to work w...
08/11/2021

We, the Buff and Blue Media are currently hiring new Assistant producers, Writers, Editors, and Film Directors to work with Executive Producer Seth DeBartolo Light for this year.

We look forward to creating films once again after we all coming back to the studio!

Send your resume to [email protected].

Deadline is Sept. 20th, 2021.

Photo description: Grey background, with black film strips run across behind logo of the Bluff and Blue Media, and a spotlight above shining on the black/white words sharing information. “Now hiring! Assistant producers, Writers, Editors, and Film Directors. Send your resume to [email protected]. Deadline: Sept. 20th, 2021.” Also, the film clapperboard is showing below the words.

CORRECTED ID NUMBER: 885 3370 6402
05/24/2021

CORRECTED ID NUMBER: 885 3370 6402

Join us tomorrow May 24th, 2021 from 7-9pm for our student panel discussion "Let's Talk: One Year without George Floyd, ...
05/24/2021

Join us tomorrow May 24th, 2021 from 7-9pm for our student panel discussion "Let's Talk: One Year without George Floyd, addressing police brutality and racism."
Moderated by Cicely Boga with Panelists JC Smith, Ashlea Hayes, Ava Avalos, and Bryan Ramos-Navarro.

Image Description:
Aqua blue background “Let’s Talk about A year without George Floyd” on dark blue triangular inset background. Monday May 24th 7-9pm Zoom ID: 855 3370 6402. Five images of black and brown faces. Top: Cicely Boga, brown complexion black female; Bryan Navarro, tan complexion Latino; Ashlea Hayes, brown complexion black female; Jerome JC Smith, brown complexion Black male; and Ana Avalos, tan complexion Latina. Hosted by the Buff n Blue Media.

Deaf Culture Needed: The Impact of ASL on TiktokBy Carolyn GirardCopy EditorSince the beginning of its release in 2016, ...
05/12/2021

Deaf Culture Needed: The Impact of ASL on Tiktok
By Carolyn Girard
Copy Editor

Since the beginning of its release in 2016, Tiktok has become the leading video-sharing, and social media network in the virtual world has been downloaded over 2 billion times in the year 2020 alone and remains to be the most downloaded app in the Apple IOS store with over 33 million downloads in 2019.

The social media platform is used to make a variety of short-form videos, from genres like dance, comedy, and education, that have a duration from 15 seconds to one minute. Deaf Tik Tok alone comes out to over 6668.1 million views and searches, spreading the Deaf community's influence across multiple media platforms and reaching millions of viewers all over the globe.

Influencers like Warren "Wawa" Snipe, Sheena Lyles, Raven Sutton, Giovanni Maucere and many other deaf influencers have gained mass popularity posting ASL interpretations, educational deaf culture videos, comedic skits and music videos. Some Gallaudet students and alumni have also been featured on Snapchat's Discover page, Instagram Reels and on Buzzfeed Media pages.

Gallaudet undergrad junior Erisette Cruz has amassed 62.3k followers on her Tiktok channel featuring music videos and day-in-the-life videos. She is an advocate for the Deaf+ community and Latinx community and culture. Her ASL videos have reached thousands of hearing and deaf viewers who subscribe to her for content on being a student with cerebral palsy, her experience as a young Latina influencer and her experience in the deaf community. Cruz has mentioned facing harassment for her cerebral palsy, which she has addressed publicly, along with the experience of people criticizing her signing style - comparing it to hearing signers or other signers of different language and communication backgrounds.

"I see it all the time, about a girl who signs on Tiktok because her brother is deaf, she posts a lot of signing videos online, but it's not signing at all, just her hands waving around and people think it's funny, they think that ASL really looks like that," said Cruz.

Meanwhile, Deaf creators who are using their authentic sign language on their platforms are criticized, receive fewer views than hearing creators on signing videos and notice a lot of misinformation about ASL being spread on TikTok. Some hearing creators who regularly use ASL in their videos have been put on blast by Deaf advocates community for audist remarks in response to criticism from the Deaf community.

"When I see it, I feel upset, people are using [sign language] more on the platform, which is completely fine - but the Deaf community tends to give feedback - you should listen to us," Cruz said. "We're here to help. Not accepting our help in our own language and culture is just crossing the line."

Jacelyn Fincher is a sophomore at Gallaudet University with over 700.1k followers on her channel, featuring comedy skits, ASL music videos and day in the life videos on her channel. She has been featured on the Snapchat Discover page and Instagram Reels.

Fincher posts to Tiktok in hopes that the hearing community will see more accurate representation of Deaf culture in social media.

"It educates hearing people to learn more about the deaf community- the more hearing people that learn about us is a good thing - it motivates me to tell more stories about myself and deaf experiences. I want to see more deaf creatives get more involved on Tiktok; it is a really important world - I want them to be confident to post about themselves and strengthen our presence online," said Fincher.

Deaf presence online is only increasing. With that comes the need for more Deaf creators, educators and advocates who boldly continue to change the digital space. Platforms like Tiktok are the basis for the Deaf community to shine, to allow more opportunity for a virtual space that includes all deaf languages and cultures, backgrounds and experiences. More deaf creators are showing that not only do they thrive in this space but the impact of the Deaf community has led to TikTok adding automatic captions on the platform, something they did not have until April 2021.

"All over, I've been following deaf people from Europe, Africa, America. It's amazing to learn from deaf people in other cultures, other sign languages. It's a very diverse platform full of creative people who deserve to be seen and recognized," said Cruz. "Please add CC to videos, make your videos accessible to everyone, not just deaf people but Deaf+, and people with other disabilities also deserve that access online as well."

Image Description: A phone on a table showcases the logo for Tiktok: a music note with the blue and pink transition clip effect, underneath "Tiktok" in the top right corner features a set of AirPods.

Movie Review: Godzilla vs. KongBy: Natalie Marcello Photo: Warner Bros. PicturesOn March 31, 2021, Warner Bros. Pictures...
05/07/2021

Movie Review: Godzilla vs. Kong
By: Natalie Marcello
Photo: Warner Bros. Pictures

On March 31, 2021, Warner Bros. Pictures released the movie called Godzilla v.s Kong, directed by Adam Wingard, on HBO Max and Movie theater. This movie has become popular, especially in the Deaf community. One of the main characters is a deaf girl who is Deaf in real life.
Kong and his protectors undertake a ferocious journey to find his true home. Along for the ride is Jia, an orphan girl who has a unique and powerful bond with the mighty Kong. However, they soon find themselves in the path of an enraged Godzilla as he cuts a swath of destruction across the globe. The initial confrontation between the two titans instigated by unseen forces is only the beginning of the mystery that lies deep within the planet's core.
A mission for Kong while others deal with Godzilla: Find Kong a new home because there can't be two apex titans living on Earth's surface. The fabled Hidden World is the answer, bringing scientists played by Alexander Skarsgard and Rebecca Hall together to es**rt Kong to the not-so-mythical realm's entrance. Tagging along is Deaf orphan Jia, played by a ridiculously adorable Kaylee Hottle, who can communicate with the giant gorilla.
The characters dealing with Godzilla: Millie Bobby Brown, who played daughter-of-scientist Maddison Russell in the previous flick; Julian Dennison, who played as Maddison's friend, Josh Valentine; and absolute comedic standout Brian Tyree Henry as the podcast-running whistleblower, Bernie Hayes. Evil Tech Company Apex Cybernetics, the villain, linked with stirring the of-late peaceful Godzilla into a blue-eyed frenzy.
I must say this movie is phenomenal. Godzilla vs. Kong is another installment to the Godzillas movie series. The cinematography is out of this world. From the beginning of the film, you could tell Wingard set it up from a unique angle. Godzilla and Kong are incredibly detailed and made it look like it is in real life. The plot is very smooth and predictable, and the visual experience is a treat. Both Godzilla and Kong rocked the show with equal screen space, but the story focuses mainly on Kong. This movie shows two different events that will be brought together later at the end of the film.
The Deaf community was thrilled to hear that the film featured a Deaf actress. In addition to doing a fantastic job in her character, she was as authentic as possible on screen. Not many Deaf actors/actresses get a chance to play an original role as a deaf character. Hollywood often cast hearing actors/actresses to play the role of a Deaf person.
After watching the movie, I was astounded by Kaylee Hottle's fantastic job playing the character Jia. Jia and Kong's bond formed by the ability to communicate through sign language became unbreakable. Watching their link develop and solidify gets viewers hooked on the story instantly.
I am thrilled to have someone who can authentically play a Deaf character finally. Kudos to the directors and the casting directors for casting a Deaf actress in the movie. That meant a lot to us in the community and showed us that we could play roles designed for us. I highly recommend this movie. You can find Godzilla v.s Kong on HBO Max. Have fun watching Godzilla v.s Kong!

Theory of Dreams By: Ruthia Chan Photo design by: Jewel Royalty Have you ever woken up and remember what you dreamed las...
05/04/2021

Theory of Dreams
By: Ruthia Chan
Photo design by: Jewel Royalty

Have you ever woken up and remember what you dreamed last night? Sleeping is fundamental for all mammals. Without sleep, humans are not able to function correctly or at their most entire abilities. When we sleep, we often dream. Dreams are a mysterious matter for humankind. There are some psychological and scientific theories on why we dream and the meaning behind our creative, vivid dreams. We need to remember our dream to understand the meaning behind it. People can consider dreams to be signals from our subconscious brain when we are sleeping. Here are a few theories that can help you interpret your dreams.
When you dream about someone that you know, several theories can interpret it. It often means that you have been thinking about that person. That person could be a potential romantic partner, a family member, friend, enemy or stranger. You were likely thinking about that person or something that is connected to that person before falling asleep. When you dream about someone, it is most likely because of their personality or your relationship to that person. It can be a sign that you desire their approval or attention. If you have not seen that person in a long time, that dream could mean that you missed them or feeling lonely.
This could mean that you are having a hard time moving on from past friendships or relationships. If the person you are dreaming about feels the same way about you, it shows self-confidence, self-respect and acceptance. On the other hand, if that person does not feel the same way, it shows insecurity and fear of being judged. Dreams help you prepare for reality and act as a defensive mechanism implemented by the subconscious.
If you dream about someone who has died is an indication that you don't like that person and did not have a good experience with them. If a person died in your dream, which who you were very close to you, according to scientific and spiritual theory, the dream would be a relief and a slight liberation from your grief and sorrow. Dreaming has been conceived as virtual reality when we are asleep. They store files and information that has been received during the day. Your brain subconsciously remembers it even though it is reduced by 20 percent of its activity than the average state when your body is awake. We can recreate images that are distributed by the cortex of the brain.

[Image Description]

On a bed with white/tan bed frame, a white young woman with brown hair in a bun lays sleeping on a blue and white patterned pillow with a grey blanket, on the right side of her head, white dream bubbles float to the side

04/29/2021

Come and learn more about Dolores Huerta presents by duo Fonseca!

04/27/2021

The struggles are real.. :(

DEAF U: The Ism ControversyBy: LaToya PlummerPhoto by: Jewel Royalty Whenever spotlight is shone on Gallaudet University...
04/23/2021

DEAF U: The Ism Controversy
By: LaToya Plummer
Photo by: Jewel Royalty

Whenever spotlight is shone on Gallaudet University, members of the institution and its affiliated communities typically respond with the combination of enlightenment and the irked frustration of getting untimely recognition. Members of the Deaf community have encountered challenges in presence and existence because of ignorance pertained to Deaf awareness. The notion to embrace opportunities that recognizes their presence as Deaf and Hard of Hearing individuals. However, this new spotlight has cost further division and frustration within the Deaf community, a documentary that was supposed to shine a light on the diversity and uniqueness of Gallaudet campus turned out to be the match that lit the flame. Especially, when that dilemma is racial-related. Cue to the Netflix series of DEAF U. Featuring the several Deaf and Hard of Hearing students at Gallaudet, the series gave viewers insights of what their lives were like at Gallaudet. The selected students illustrated a painting of Gallaudet that would have put even the best painters to shame. A partying scene with black men chasing white women.
Prior to the release of the series, there was already a buzz about a documentary in the works pertained to Gallaudet. Without specifics, rumors swirled within the community about the possibilities. One thing was imminent. Nyle DiMarco, a Deaf actor who was one of America's Top Model winners and a graduate of Gallaudet, would have a significant role in the production. This triggered an anticipated response in the form of domino effect. Excitement erupted within. After the release, two entirely different types of responses were generated from the Deaf community. The white Deaf community saw the series as inspiring, beaming with pride that the school they attended was being featured. They perceived that the film earned a two thumbs up detailing what life was truly like for Deaf students at Gallaudet. However, the Black Indigenous People of Color (BIPoC) community were not the least bit thrilled. Underrepresented and often forgotten, the Black Deaf community reeled with astounding anger, constant frustration and heart piercing disappointment. Not only did the film intentionally ignore certain groups of students who are important parts of the demographics of the Deaf community, it also consisted of scenes that overtly disrespected the Civil Rights Movement and its icons. Famous for his “I Have A Dream” speech that took place in Washington D.C, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr had an important message from that speech. Because of the rights he believed Black people were entitled to, he told us of a dream he had. Including his children, Black people would not be judged based on their skin color. Instead, their characters would be at the forefront, attesting to whoever they choose to be. Rather than put an emphasis on that, the statement was riddled with fallacy and an attempt at humor that garnered no laughter from the Black Deaf community. In addition, these leaders already laid to rest turned over in their resting places. “Dr. King said I had a dream that all black men....” *laughter* Come again? WHAT?! One would need to rewind to make sure that was what was said.
It was and still is a known fact, that for the Black Deaf/HoH individuals to navigate the Deaf community daily, they also must deal with racism. Black Deaf people have always been patronized, belittled and pushed aside as if they do not matter. Black Deaf women face more scrutiny being triple marginalized- Black, Deaf and a woman. If anything, the film verified exactly that. And without mercy or consideration to the sentiments of the Black Deaf/HoH community. Thus, brings us to this question. What are the feelings and thoughts from the Black Deaf community when seeing the series? Collectively, it added insult to injury on top of the constant refusal to engage into an HONEST dialogue about racism, being racists, and finding ways to rid of them. By rid of them, it is a three-step unpacking process: Recognizing, acknowledging, and taking ownership. Typically, this does not happen because of perception from the white Deaf community that deafness somehow supersedes the privileges they knowingly hold and play key aspects to their ability to access into resources. Two panels were held in connection to the documentary. One consisted of black Deaf/HH students and the other one had professors and educators. The panel involving the students piqued curiosity of what the students really thought, as it was known that students are perceived to be the sincerest stakeholders of their academic futures.
Led by moderator Lorenzo Lewis, Jaleah Dortch, Aireyonna Crockett and Aubrey Moorman gave spectators the most authentic perspectives of the potential destruction for black Deaf/HoH students within the Deaf community. Ignorance has long seeped into the Deaf community when approaching the topic of race. White Deaf people are known to claim that racism does not exist nor that they are racists, while doing things and saying things that are. Placing accountability on them has always been a challenge. The opportunity to break it down in layman terms rarely comes. This was why the panel was an important game changer for their platform- that Black lives really do matter and why the documentary represented trauma. Moorman, Crockett, and Dortch unanimously agreed that the documentary should have no place in the Deaf community. Crockett pointed out that the film triggered issues concerning the Deaf community- racism, colorism and how black men perceive black women. As a black man, Moorman felt the anguish of his fellow black Deaf/HoH sisters. Based on his own personal experience, he has seen the utter disrespect of black women in general. Black Deaf/HH women suffer the double dose of disrespect. Like the other panelists, he was taught the value of being black, the dilemmas, and the importance of protecting black women. Grateful to have had the platform to get their voices heard, Dortch felt that the panel gave the others and her a safe place to express freely. To her, sharing the stage with the other students gave each other the confidence to take a stand.
When interviewing fifth-year English major, Jaleah Dortch one could sense her dignified pride as a black Deaf/HoH female. Her explicit understanding of what comes with that role is evident as she explains her thoughts and feelings about DEAF U. Along with the other panelists, she felt that the documentary did the Black Deaf/HH community a great disservice. Prior to the documentary coming out, the Black Deaf/HoH community did not hold its breath. For it had already anticipated lack of representation based on the community’s blatant disregard of diversity. “I knew with the Deaf Community values and its emphasis on elitism, they would film a certain few rather than having a diverse cast,” Dortch said. Expressing disappointment in the trailer, Dortch tried to give it the benefit of the doubt. After its release, her response was not of shock. It was as if nothing about the way white Deaf people moved within the community surprised her. “Where were the women of color? It didn’t include all types of Deaf people- women of color, Deaf people with extra disabilities and new signers,” Dortch said. “It only showed the lives of the standard profile of the white and Deaf.” Senior Victoria Crockett echoed the exact same sentiment. Hailing from Los Angeles, Crockett understands the value of representation and takes being reflective in inspiration as critical to her life as a black woman. “I learned that my walk of life is my own. It is not some make believe of workday standards of what black people should look like and how they should act,” she said. “All we have is our name and that stands for something with our identities. When you take that from us, that is misrepresentation.” Senior Ana Avalos is a Latina who is on a journey of understanding intersectionality and her identity as a Latina who is Deaf. Like many Gallaudet students and its alumni, they expressed excitement in the fact that the school was thrust into the spotlight. Initially, Avalos thought that the documentary would display aspects of the University in ways it would convince parents of Deaf and Hard of Hearing high school juniors and seniors to enroll them there. Instead of showing students navigating college while maintaining the overlaps of identities, the documentary showed excessive partying and black men portraying them as dogs who do not respect women. “There were no Latina women or men. No one in the film looked like me,” Avalos said. Up to the release of the documentary, Avalos expressed ignorance in recognizing how BIPoC were being perceived and treated in the Deaf community. Identifying herself as a fair skinned Latina, Avalos admitted that she had not encountered racism as often as she would have had she been a few shades darker, interjecting another issue-colorism- plaguing the BIPOC community. As a woman of color, she understands the pain and trauma the documentary represented for the black Deaf/HH community. “Like members of our community, black people were not represented accurately,” she said. When asked if there should be a series to the documentary, Avalos believed that there should be a chance of recognizing the fallacy in representation and fixing it.
Freshman Dajour Wallace from Chicago Illinois is a close friend of some of the cast featured in the documentary. When he heard that his friends would be featured, he was beyond elated. His friends were going to be a part of representing Gallaudet to the fullest. He expected for the documentary to spark discussion about the Deaf world and the people that live in it. What he did not expect- the backlash from the BIPOC community, especially his brothers and sisters. Like Avalos, Wallace is on the journey of self-discovery, learning about his identity as a black Deaf man in a predominately white Deaf community. Where he came from, racism was seldom at the forefront. It was not talked about much, therefore recognizing its presence was not of importance. The backlash was a teaching moment for him. While he asserts his loyalty to his friends who he says meant no harm, he is coming to terms with the sentiments many black Deaf/HoH women shared with him. “They did not talk to us about racism or what I was up against in life as a black man,” Wallace said. “Because of that, things like Deaf U and how it was portrayed flew over our heads.” According to Wallace, one of the characters, Rodney, is hilarious beyond comedy. “He [Rodney] could make a joke out of anything,” Wallace said. Also a friend of his, Daquan played a character he found all too familiar because of his own experience at home. Despite having to relate with Daquan on that aspect, he agreed that the I have a Dream comment he made was disrespectful. “I was kind of disappointed.” He noticed something significant- black women were missing from the documentary. “Where were they?” He pondered. “Gallaudet is much more than just parties and dates.” An avid sports lover and an athlete himself, Wallace felt that important parts of the Gallaudet community were not being showcased. “We have education, a variety of sports, and organizations. I did not see any of that,” he proceeded.
When asked if Deaf U should be around for the second season, Dortrich was understandably hesitant. “Include actual representation. Deaf+ and the BIPOC Deaf communities. Because we exist,” Dortrich We have our own culture, language, and values. In addition to ideas, we also have stories.” Rumors twirled around about the identity of the director who filmed the documentary. Unconfirmed sources said that it was a black woman who directed it. Thoughts were shared regarding that specific claim. Dortrich believed that to be a tactic. If the claim was true, then the cast should have been diverse. However, it could also be an attempt to save face and lay blame on a director of color. Avalos believed that there should be a chance of recognizing the fallacy in representation and fixing it. Wallace believes that with his two friends cast, the documentary can do way better. “It needs to really represent us as a Deaf community,” he said.
It is safe to say that the university has a long way to go when it comes to accountability pertained to race. The issue of racism and its trauma on those who are on the receiving ends of it needs to be at the center of the dialogue pertaining to community advancement. The Deaf community cannot advance when it is not inclusive and refuse to acknowledge the damage. Until every aspect of the Deaf community is valued and respected, not all lives matter.

[Image description]
Solid blue background. Two hands- Yellow and Blue- forming into hand shapes “U” and “palm facing up,” creating the sign TRUTH. “Deaf U” is capitalized in bold blue and outlined in yellow above the satellite image of Gallaudet and its surrounding neighborhoods. Two bisons- a female and a male- posing next to each other, his left hand and her right hand on their hips. The female bison is in a yellow shirt, brown khakis and yellow shoes. The male bison is in a blue t shirt, brown khakis, and yellow shoes.

The Day They Killed George Floyd:Through the Eyes of a Black Deaf Mom By: LaToya Plummer Photo by: Jewel RoyaltyThe blac...
04/22/2021

The Day They Killed George Floyd:
Through the Eyes of a Black Deaf Mom
By: LaToya Plummer
Photo by: Jewel Royalty

The black man struggled to breathe. The white officer knelt his right knee on his carotid. His left knee was bent, slightly lifted off the ground, putting more weight on the right one. Both feet lifted off the ground, with the entire weight into the right knee. The handcuffed man kept trying to move, finding a way to gasp for air. Two other officers asserted their weight on the back and the legs of the black man crying for help. One of the officers was beckoning the crowd, menacing them with a threat of force. The crowd gathered around, yelling for the officer to stop. Not yelling. More like pleading. Collectively, they were begging for the officers to get his knee off his neck. But the more they pleaded, the deeper the officer's knee dug into the black man's neck. As the black man cried for his life and his mom, my heart nearly stopped. The scenario was recorded live and played on the news. “I want my mama!!!” The word Mama pierced the air and my heart.
Just the day before, I encountered what was supposed to be life's greatest blessing- motherhood. I transitioned from the life of a single black female to a mom of a little human who would eventually grow into a black man. When Jaxon came into this world, it was a dream of mine growing up. A dream that turned into a reality. But the navigation was not always pleasant. Accompanied with excitement was worry. Constant worry not about if my baby boy would have two arms or a head. It was whether I had amassed enough tools to keep him alive for as long as I could. Looking back to the day I discovered I would become a mom. Reminiscing the moment, it was just panic. Sheer panic upon discovery of a potential change in life, I recalled.
After deciding to forge ahead and challenge life on being the best mom I could be, the reasoning behind my anxiety changed. Now, I was questioning if he was going to be a statistic or a success story. His survival rate in this world was automatically slashed a few percent down from a hundred because I chose to bring him in and because he is like me... black. After finding out I was going to have a boy, I contemplated how “the talk” would go with my son when he got to that age. Different tools and venues swirled inside my head as I tried to determine which one was the best. The most effective. And produced a chance for him to live the longest. However, watching Chauvin dig into George Floyd s neck for almost nine minutes only made it worse. It was basically a message that was loud, visual, and clear- all that I tried to come up with went out the window. It was May 25, 2021. His mom lived longer than I did. Most likely, she tried tools I thought of. None of them worked now. Why would anything I came up with work later?, I thought to myself. Here was another black man being murdered. But while he was being killed, he wanted his mama. My anxiety shot up as tears welled up in my eyes while I watched the people tasked to protect and to serve take one of our own.... AGAIN. AGAIN. And... AGAIN.
Had I made a mistake? Or was it simply a blessing amid a curse? Or a curse disguised into a blessing? Either way, I was determined to do this- make sure that his world is better. It must be. He cannot live where they look at him as collateral damage in a society that takes pleasure in making black and brown bodies shooting targets for law enforcement. He must survive now that he is here. And his survival should be at his own accord. His end should not be given to people who think black lives do not matter. Especially black men. People that look like him. And the man on the ground screaming for his mom. Pulling my newborn son closer to my heart, I whispered to him while signing, “Don't worry. I got you. Always and forever.” This little bundle of joy is certainly never going to be a mistake, no matter how challenging life gets. If the world was fair, black children would live equally like their white counterparts. They would be given equal opportunity to thrive as the beacons of our future. Black men would be seen as a vital asset to society, as opposed to menaces. And black women would be treated with the utmost respect like Malcolm X famously emphasized. And their triple Ts- trials, tribulations, and triumphs- would not be judged by the color of their skin, but the contents of their character like Dr. Martin Luther King dreamt of. But this world was far from fair. Unfortunately, that still is true today. I was born into a generation where certain dilemmas made it hard to live as black people. Jaxon was born into the year of 2021- the generation where white privilege exacerbates the obstacles they would be facing, making it seem as if he would inherit a world much worse than the one I grew up in.
Like every mom with a son, I dream of the unbreakable bond where the love is unconditional with some type of protection from evil. Even in my fantasy, he was a “mommy’s boy” with a strong sense of self and dignity. I pray differently than white moms because if anything, I learned what history showed me. That for my generation, black men were plucked off one by one like one would do to a flower by those binded to protect them. My son’s generation would consist of them killing their future. Therefore, it MUST be better for him and all the young black game changers. When we protect them the best we can and guide them as far as we can go, they will change the world and make it as it should be. Hopefully, a world where color is not a reason to kill. Not legit, anyway.
If you understand the mentality of black moms regarding the future of their children, Deaf and hearing, then you would understand why George Floyd’s murder, like Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Atatiana Jefferson, Sandra Bland and many other black lives lost, became a movement. Not only was it a movement, but it was also a stark reminder. That enough was enough. Black moms like me should be given the right to pray for things white moms do for their children. No more black lives lost.. if we can help it. We have to DEMAND, not ask for, justice every time because we are within our right to do so. Because accountability is an important ingredient to the safety of black lives and securing their futures. And because we matter the same as they do. After taking a deep breath, shaking off anxiety that was clinging on to me for dear life, I signed to the little brown bundle of joy sleeping peacefully, “You will be a game changer. You are going to be a part of change. Because your life matters and you have a right to protect it. I love you. ALWAYS call me first.”

Prayers sent to George Floyd’s loved ones, all the other black lives lost, and black moms around the nation.




[Image Description]
Against a solid black background, a pregnant black woman is staring down at her stomach. Around her head are different thoughts swirling in her head- Black lives lost from Emmitt Till to George Floyd, series of black lives matter movements, and Stop Killing Black People chants. Purple and red spotlights in the background.

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