09/26/2025
“According to a certain brand of parenting advice, motherhood isn’t just caregiving; it’s also a series of psychological interventions that can make or break a child’s future,” Maytal Eyal writes. “Do enough ‘work’ on yourself, this advice goes—regulate your nervous system, master emotional attunement, follow the rules of attachment parenting—and you can safeguard your child’s psychological future.”
https://theatln.tc/dJT32i3N
This type of advice is a manifestation of “therapy culture,” Eyal writes: “the growing landscape of Instagram posts, self-care products, and self-improvement guides that encourage ongoing self-scrutiny and the pursuit of constant personal betterment.” Its message is seductive, Eyal continues, but “ultimately an illusion, one that is based on shaky science, and that diverts attention from the material realities that can make parenting so difficult in the first place.”
The connection between how people turn out and how they are parented is not as direct—or as deterministic—as many have argued, Eyal continues. One researcher posited that parental influence pales when compared with other environmental factors, such as the influence of peers, in shaping who children become. Numerous studies have since backed up that assertion, Eyal writes: “Genes, for example, seem to play a bigger role than the environment that children are raised in.”
“I’m not arguing that moms shouldn’t work on their own mental health, or that they shouldn’t think deeply about their approach to parenting,” Eyal continues at the link in our bio. “Rather, I worry that therapy culture prompts mothers to gaze obsessively, unhealthily inward, and deflects attention from the external forces (cultural, economic, political) that are actually the source of so much anxiety.”
🎨: E S Kibele Yarman