12/04/2025
From Speaking Life in Your Marriage on YouVersion
James 3:7-11 NASB1995For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water?
Have you used words to tear down, nag, or criticize? Do you tend to be sarcastic or quick tempered? Or have you withheld words that should have been spoken? Have you hidden your hurts from your spouse, or held a grudge when you felt hurt rather than being honest about the breach in your relationship?
I doubt there’s anyone among us who can say they have never done any of those! James 3 is clear that “no one can control the tongue,” which is something we can all probably recognize in our own lives. Some couples have said that their most bitter fights happen on the way to church, where they then sit down together and stand to praise God through their tense lips. What a vivid image of when “blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth”!
Lamentations 3:40 NASB1995Let us examine and probe our ways, And let us return to the Lord.
Today, start with humility before God. Ask the Holy Spirit for conviction. Ask Him to reveal where you sinned with your words this week. Then confess and repent of what He brings to mind.
Confess and apologize to your spouse for using your words to hurt. Repent of not being honest about the things you need to communicate. Confess, then let go of any grudges, past hurts or bitterness. Ask your spouse for forgiveness. Acknowledge that you want to move forward in a new way and to follow the instructions of Ephesians 4 to get rid of harsh words and be kind, tenderhearted and forgiving.
It is not easy to apologize or confess, but that is where healing begins. We are fallen humans on the road to growing more like Christ, but we are not there yet! We will need to repent, confess and apologize on a regular basis. When we do, He is faithful to forgive us. And we can forgive freely, as God in Christ has freely forgiven us.
Ephesians 4:31-32 NASB1995Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Next Steps:
Pray, asking God for conviction
Respond to His conviction with repentance and confession
Apologize to your spouse for words you’ve said that hurt them.
