28/02/2025
I am a dull man, and I have dull chores. I carefully organise the spice rack in alphabetical order, I meticulously untangle the garden hose after every use, and I fold the laundry with military precision even though it’s all mostly just my T-shirts, underwear and socks.
But the job I find the dullest, the most soul-draining, the Everest of tedium, is brushing my German Shepherd.
Even though my latest is a short-haired one we rescued 2 years ago, he sheds as if he’s training to be a woolly mammoth.
Despite brushing him a few times a week, I do a big deep-clean brush once a month.
This morning, Dougal had his monthly intense brushing, and as I gathered up enough loose fur to construct a second dog, I wondered, yet again, what I could actually do with it.
1> I could make my own pillows with a matching duvet ("comforter" for our American friends)
2> Start an artisanal line of German Shepherd wigs for bald Chihuahuas
3> Open a luxury boutique selling "100% Organic German Shepherd Wool" scarves
4> Knit myself a full-body dog hair suit, so Dougal can finally see what it feels like to be covered in his own fluff
Alas, I have never acted on these geni-ass ideas.
I once ran them by my wife, and she stared at me in silence for a solid ten seconds before calmly asking if I sustained a recent head injury.
So instead, I just brush and vacuum them up.
Again.
Robin UK10 - Dougal repays me by covering the house in fur within 30 seconds