20/11/2025
Sometimes I think our community is slowly bleeding from wounds we pretend not to see. There is a silent crisis spreading among Muslim youth and even within marriages, a crisis people are too shy or too ashamed to talk about, and because of that silence, many are being destroyed from the inside. Today, I want to speak honestly—not to shame anyone, but because people are suffering in silence and someone needs to say the truth openly. Many young Muslim sisters fall into certain acts, thinking they are protecting their virginity, thinking they are avoiding zina, avoiding pregnancy, avoiding shame. They don’t realize that the very thing they think is “safer” is the thing that harms them the most. Years later they carry guilt in their hearts, physical pain in their bodies, regret in their minds, and fear in their marriages. Some develop infections that keep returning, some struggle with intimacy later, some even face infertility complications because the body starts fighting what it should naturally accept. And these sisters don’t talk because they are scared, and instead they carry trauma silently. On the other side, we have brothers who fall into this through po*******hy, through desire, through curiosity, through pressure, or through unresolved struggles they never healed before marriage. Some men pressure their wives into actions that hurt them physically and emotionally, some hide habits they developed long before marriage, and some even hide parts of themselves their wives only discover when the doors are closed. And those wives sit alone, feeling unwanted, unloved, and confused, wondering what is wrong with them when nothing is wrong with them at all. The truth is: when people enter marriage carrying private sins, hidden habits, secret addictions, or shame they never healed, the marriage becomes heavy. Trust becomes fragile. Intimacy becomes confusing. Love becomes painful. And many homes break—not because the couple wasn’t compatible, but because the heart came in carrying darkness that was never cleaned. This is not a small matter. This is not “just a preference,” not “something private,” not “nobody’s business.” This is something Allah clearly warned us against, something that destroys modesty, damages the body, harms the soul, and breaks the barakah in a home. Yet we are living in a time where shame has disappeared, where people defend what is haram, where social media normalizes what Allah prohibited, and where silence has allowed the problem to grow. But even with all of this, there is hope. There is always hope. People fall into sin because they are human, because they were weak, because they were lonely, because they were misled, because they were trying to avoid something else. Allah does not close His door on anyone. The solution is not to hide; the solution is to return. The solution is to clean the heart, to seek forgiveness sincerely, to break away from addiction, to speak honestly with your spouse, to heal what was wounded, and to close the doors that lead back to darkness. A marriage built on secrets will always shake, but a marriage built on honesty and tawbah can be healed by Allah with more love than before. Our youth need guidance, not judgment. Our couples need healing, not shame. Our ummah needs to talk, because these private sins are silently breaking homes. If you’re struggling, seek Allah. If you’ve fallen, return to Him. If your marriage is hurting, open your heart. If you’re preparing for marriage, clean your past. If you’re a parent, educate your children before the world does it for you. Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful, and He loves the one who comes back purified, humbled, and honest. May Allah heal our hearts, protect our private lives, purify our marriages, and guide our youth before they break. Ameen.
Muslim