13/07/2024
Collingwood and Carlton Football Clubs to be merged and relocated
The year is 2035, just over 10 years from now.
Collingwood Football Club President Scott Pendlebury and Carlton President Brendan Fevola are at odds with newly appointed AFL CEO Razor Ray Chamberlain over the future of AFL football.
They are exchanging harsh words and threats on television, radio and Apple iThought brain implants over administration of our great game. Footy fans are unsure of what will happen with Chamberlain threatening to merge and relocate the 171 year old Carlton Football Club and 143 year old Collingwood Football Club to reduce the number of Victorian teams and equalise the competition.
In recent years the Tasmanian Devils and Northern Territory Crocodiles Football Clubs have entered the competition, each winning a premiership in only their third year in the 20 team AFL league. With each of their Board's having 6 of 8 directors appointed by the AFL like other expansion teams, they join Sydney, Adelaide, Port Adelaide, Gold Coast and Greater Western Sydney Football Clubs in having their decision making substantially controlled by the AFL.
In 1993, the Crawford report reserved the final decision of mergers and/or relocations with the majority of AFL clubs, not the AFL who were responsible for other strategy, business and day to day operations of the league. With the entry of the Crocodiles, and control of 7 out of 20 clubs (or 35%), the remaining Victorian, West Australian and Brisbane Football Clubs can no longer overturn an AFL Commission decision. The AFL Constitution requires a 66% majority to stop a merger and/or relocation, which is no longer possible. Clubs want the Constitution changed back to a 75% majority but the Commission is unwilling.
The word on the street is that Razor Ray is going to go full nuclear on the Carlton and Collingwood Football Clubs for questioning his decision-making skills. He intends to merge the clubs and relocate them to Canberra. New colours and logo/monikers are yet to be determined but are likely to be navy, white and red to preserve some connection to both clubs, a nod to the Brittania Football Club from which Collingwood was born.
The Western Bulldogs have no problem with the use of similar colours to what they wear and even offered to change their colours for away matches. Canberra Cannons and Canberra Bullets are early suggestions for logo/moniker subject to copyright considerations.
We also understand the Port Adelaide Football Club is likely to drop their teal and silver colours from their official team colours if the now Black and White ‘colours’ become available. They may even consider changing their logo back to the Magpie. At the very least they are likely to ask the AFL for trademark rights to use for marketing purposes to their older supporters.
When asked, Ray Chamberlain stated that Scott and Brendan should have been nicer to me in my umpiring days. If they did I would have just relocated North and St Kilda. AFL Chairman David Koch was unavailable for comment on either merger possibility.
Both Scott and Brendan have announced a press conference but were last seen boarding a flight to our National Capital city with their families.
Fantasy or a sign of what could come?
*This article is a theoretical imagination of what events could transpire under current AFL and game governance arrangements.
The names mentioned are not intended to be taken seriously and are used for humerous purposes only on unlikely scenarios and in no way represent positions they may assume in the future, nor how they may behave.
We hope everyone takes the article for what it is - hypothetical fan fiction to show what strange and unlikely events could occur, and unintended consequences of possible commercial decisions.
